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Old Dec 7th, 2010, 14:22 PM   1
Patient girl
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New to BnB n- thoughts pls!


Hi everyone!
Since I've found this forum I've become a little bit addicted - the advice on here is fantastic!
So a bit about me - I've been with OH for 6 1/2 years, I'm 32 & he's 36 (although he thinks he's peter pan). I'm ready ready ready to TTC, but he's not & wants to leave it for "a couple of years". He's scared about our lives changing too much & having to give up his "batchelor" life - as I said he thinks he's peter pan! I'm scared of leaving it too late & know it could take a while for 14 yrs of BC to work their way out my system. I've suggested I come off BC in new year & we see what happens - he's still thinking about it. I don't want him being less than 100% about this decision - any thoughts on what else I could say to persuade him would be gratefully received!

Financially we're ok, & he's amazing with other peoples kids, I just know he'd make a great dad

My close friends are either pregnant or new mums so I am keeping all of this between us on here

Thanks girls!



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Old Dec 7th, 2010, 14:37 PM   2
kezhulme
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Ah sounds like you're really ready to get started. I've no idea how to get your OH to come round to the idea but as long as you make it clear that you want a family in the near future I'm sure it wont be long till he comes round to the idea too

Good luck hun!



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Old Dec 7th, 2010, 15:20 PM   3
MrsRH
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pander to his male pride!

tell him he has great genes, skills and attributes to pass on to a wee baby of your own!!!! tell him how you and your friends think he'd be the best dad

things don't have to change for the worst, tell him he can still go out, do hobbies etc

but He may be too tired and too doting on his baby when he/she arrives!


good luck
xxx



 
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Old Dec 7th, 2010, 15:46 PM   4
odd_socks
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Awww same kind of situation as me, im really ready and my OH doesnt feel like he is, he loves his life as it is right now and wants us to wait...forever if he had his way. Have u tried speaking to him and going through his worries together? might help him relax into the idea



 
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Old Dec 7th, 2010, 16:44 PM   5
GettingBroody
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Hi hon, I was in the same kind of situation as you until recently.
Told my OH I really wanted to come off bcp after over ten years to give my body a break from all the fake hormones. Also told him that I'd no problem waiting another while to ttc if he really wasn't ready but that from now on the contraception in his hands... Result is that I'm off bcp since mid nov, the box of condoms is still unopened (altho we're still being careful of our dates) and we'll be starting to ttc at the end of feb
Think the thought of me coming off bcp has kinda of eased him into it while the thought of using the contraception if he wants has taken the pressure off. Whatever the reason for the attitude change, I'm happy! And here's hoping the box of condoms stays unopened!



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Old Dec 7th, 2010, 17:39 PM   6
Patient girl
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Thanks girls. So nice to finally chat with ppl in same situation. I think it's really daunting for OH's these days cos us girls have been in control of BC & they've not had to think about it. Now I've given him something to think about!

I've been highlighting our friends who still have hobbies/ sep interests/ go nice holidays & on nights out after they have a LO, and trying to chat through other worries he might have. Fingers crossed we'll be ntnp in 2011!

Is it right you're more fertile when you first come off pill? I know a few friends have fallen pg straight away. Don't want to miss great opportunity, but don't want OH to pass out at speedy BFP!



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Old Dec 7th, 2010, 21:29 PM   7
mari881
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I agree, my husband and I have been together for 8 years and he used to be petrified of any mention of babies! A year ago I told him that I was going to get off of BC because I was worried about being on it for so long. I think getting off the pill has definitely eased him into the topic of ttc...

As far as fertility post bcp, I think everyone is diff. Some women it takes longer and some can get pg right away. I guess you don't know which one you are until you try !



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Old Dec 8th, 2010, 05:38 AM   8
Patient girl
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I think I'll be on here a lot to stop me talking about it too much around OH! He knows how much it means to me, but I don't want to sicken him before we've even started TTC. He has a much lower sex drive than me anyway (ALERT - man in low-sex-drive-shocker!!), and this could put him off even more!



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Old Dec 8th, 2010, 05:40 AM   9
NewYearNewMe
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I was the same with my hubby first time round, decided we would start in feb 09, so i said i would come off my bcp in nov 08 to give my body a break and get back to normal. I said that it was then up to him to get some condoms. He then said why dont we just NOT use anything and see what happens... and thats where my story started.



 
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Old Dec 8th, 2010, 05:46 AM   10
Patient girl
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I made the NTNP suggestion to him last friday & said I wanted to stop taking BCP after current pack if he agreed (there's no time like the present!). I've left it with him to think about, but maybe I could drop the condom idea in the next chat we have about it - he will HATE that idea!! I love it - thank you ladies, I'm so glad I joined BnB!



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