Forum Rules


Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old Dec 10th, 2010, 09:47 AM   1
penniepie
Pregnant (Expecting)
Active BnB Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 509

new here!! Newlywed! wtt


Hi Ladies,

Im a 28 year old newly wed – who is happily married, great job, husband and great adorable home in a wonderful family neighborhood….

The last dinner we went out for before we got married in October my fiancé (at the time) asked a question. (which shocked me cause he has very few small children in the family, does want a family but I figured was ready yet) – asked me when we should have kids. He seemed very positive and said maybe we will start soon. I hate the word soon…what does it mean no matter when you say it it never has a means to an end – soon is soon and its always not today or tomorrow its just soon!

Anyways at that point I was taken back because I never gave it a whole lot of thought – with a wedding in full swing abd a home we are renovating to get into it was exactly the biggest thing on my mind! But it made me tear up because I just felt when it was time we were on the same page….so fast forward about 2 months

We are now married, in our wonderful home, great jobs and salary and wonderful maternity leave benefits….
And I know im ready now. Im a god mother to a beautiful one year old….my best friends baby, his best friend has 2 wonderful girls who call him uncle and more and more babies are in our circle of friends that I now feel a little one would really enrich our lives even more….not to mention our social circle already involves families.

I know we just got married and I know we are “young” but I just know im ready

So he is now constantly taunting me. He isn’t ready for me to be off birth control….he isn’t ready to just let it naturally take its course but HE brings it up all the time…”wouldn’t you want a little one…” etc etc. So then I bring it up and it’s a nervous oh god look in his eyes. Its not fair!

Why is it ok if its his idea! Im soo angry!

WTF is he doing to me…

I would be happy either way if we don’t start now and if we start in 6 months – im ok with that but if we are starting in 6 months don’t bring it up all the time about having one now!...

I just need some support here and how to deal with this….or maybe a way to talk to him and let him know that now or 6 month doesn’t really make much of a difference in our situation!

Thanks ladies!



Status: Offline
 
Old Dec 10th, 2010, 09:50 AM   2
penniepie
Pregnant (Expecting)
Active BnB Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 509
so i was soo frustrated i sent him and email at work saying - if you want to start in the new year i need to go of BC now....if you want to start in a year let me know please make it clear what u want!



Status: Offline
 
Old Dec 10th, 2010, 10:01 AM   3
penniepie
Pregnant (Expecting)
Active BnB Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 509
well.....resoponse from his was
6-12 months...

im a bit devastated but don't want to show him. I just remember how slow 6-12 months before my wedding went buy cause i was soo excited and wanted it to come ....



Status: Offline
 
Old Dec 11th, 2010, 05:13 AM   4
GettingBroody
Pregnant (Expecting)
BnB Addict
 
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 3,103
Aw, welcome to bnb and hugs for you
Maybe you need to have a proper, face to face chat about it and both of ye can lay your cards on the table? (so to speak!) How bout reminding him that getting pg doesn't happen immediately for everyone so even if ye start now it could be 6-12 months before bfp? And then there's another 9 months before baby arrives... Sometimes I think men forget there's a process involved and that ttc doesn't mean instant baby!!
How about suggesting that you finish off however many months are left in this bcp prescription and then using condoms/withdrawal until he's ready to ttc/ntnp?
Good luck!



Status: Offline
 
Old Dec 11th, 2010, 10:43 AM   5
odd_socks
Waiting To Try (WTT)
BnB Elite
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,611
welcome to b&b
its so hard not getting a straight answer from your OH (mines exactly the same ) Try to have a proper talk, tell him exactly how u feel and i hope that works (it hasnt for me i just get the "soon" and "it'll happen eventually" which are two words i truely hate) i hope it works out, we are here to help



 
Status: Offline
 
Old Dec 11th, 2010, 10:56 AM   6
Ein_85
Waiting To Try (WTT)
Active BnB Member
 
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Tennessee, USA
Posts: 706
'Lo Ducks,

Firstly let me say welcome to B&B Secondly, I agree maybe ya'll need to have a serious set down talk. Where both of you talk, and work this out. (though sometimes like has a way of workin out for you ) If he is still firm on waiting 6 to 12 months, then take a deep breath and wait. Might I suggest a ticker, while here on B&B they help you notice the time passing. Also, grab a journal, I know myself would be happy to stalk you ^^ Take this time to treasure your husband (cause you two might not see eachother but in a fog of sleep deprivation those first few months ), also make a list of things you'd like to do within this year of waiting. Start a wee little savings pot (maybe just a jar now, and it can grow into something more) that way you'll have a head start on a college fund Not to mention you can make your own little baby hope chest, and fill it with stuff for your LO to be...heheh this works really well when you are feeling broody Needless to say, just keep yourself busy and hopefully the time will fly by! Waiting is the hardest part. If you need someone to talk to I'm here! lol we can be waiting buddies! (though I'm waiting for mine to graduate so we can make plans *groans*) Oh and one more thing...





Have some baby dust! Take care.



 
Status: Offline
 
Old Dec 13th, 2010, 21:26 PM   7
penniepie
Pregnant (Expecting)
Active BnB Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 509
Thank you sook much for the warm welcome and great advice! Well I went in for the talk and surprising I found out that he (being a very big finances guy) was worried about a bit we owe on our credit from the wedding and not having savings so... We actually agreed to pay that off by Jan and put away a certain amount and when we have that we start ttc! Turns out he agrees that we can get to that point in the spring! I'm so glad we talked because I think it helped we were in the same page with money but more so he understood how u felt too. We definitely are very financially stable yet just had s big wedding.... But being the personality he is I can see the financial part he may worry about. So spring it is and to be sure I got confirmation in cute ways since then! Is it too early to buy books? Any recommendations? Love to read!



Status: Offline
 
Old Dec 14th, 2010, 02:22 AM   8
GettingBroody
Pregnant (Expecting)
BnB Addict
 
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 3,103
Quote:
Originally Posted by penniepie View Post
Is it too early to buy books? Any recommendations? Love to read!
Me too! I ordered a coly of Taking Charge of your Fertility by Toni Weschler last week from Amazon. Seen it recommended a good few times... If you hear of any others let me know!!!



Status: Offline
 
Old Dec 14th, 2010, 03:59 AM   9
Star7890
Mum (Mom)
BnB Addict
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Germany
Posts: 3,735
You really need to decide on this huge step TOGETHER! Its not just his decision on when you should ttc, you have a say as well... just do what is best for you!! Why not have a proper sit down one night and tell him you want a set date?

And your age plays a big part as well, 28 is considered 'older' to be ttc.. theres a thread on here called 'ttc and appoaching 30' which could help because it might take longer than he thinks to catch... (hopefully not but its a possibility)

Wish you all the luck in setting a definite date
xx



Status: Offline
 
Old Dec 14th, 2010, 04:00 AM   10
Star7890
Mum (Mom)
BnB Addict
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Germany
Posts: 3,735
http://www.babyandbump.com/waiting-t...hing-30-a.html



Status: Offline
 
Reply



Bookmarks

Tags
newlywed , wtt

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search



SEO by vBSEO