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Old Jan 3rd, 2011, 05:35 AM   11
lilmissbroody
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hi jennybobeny! i am new too and will be a smbc! - although i am waiting until 2012. itd be great to keep in touch and see how your going??



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Old Jan 3rd, 2011, 05:49 AM   12
toffee87
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Didn't want to read an run. Good luck with it all x



 
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Old Jan 3rd, 2011, 06:50 AM   13
jennybobenny
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lilmissbroody View Post
hi jennybobeny! i am new too and will be a smbc! - although i am waiting until 2012. itd be great to keep in touch and see how your going??
I'd luv to be your smc buddy! When did you make this decision for yourself? Are you using a known or unknown donor? What stage are you at in the thinking process? PM me if you'd rather. Welcome to the boards!



 
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Old Jan 3rd, 2011, 07:20 AM   14
Miss Broody
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Welcome Hun and good luck, I hope you get a call soon! :-) x



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Old Jan 3rd, 2011, 07:40 AM   15
josephine3
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I have never heard of a SMBC before.... maybe u can explain it to me? so, u are able to concieve naturally but choose not to? why?

no offense meant btw, just interested!!

best of luck to u both xx



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Old Jan 3rd, 2011, 09:07 AM   16
jennybobenny
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Originally Posted by josephine3 View Post
I have never heard of a SMBC before.... maybe u can explain it to me? so, u are able to concieve naturally but choose not to? why?

no offense meant btw, just interested!!

best of luck to u both xx
SMBC - Single Mom By Choice... basically (for me) I find myself 38 and without a serious relationship or marriage. (last relationship was "forever" I thought but ended a year and a half ago. Dating after that was more of a chore than a pleasure - I'd rather be single and happy than dating a jerk and miserable).
My clock is beyond ticking and so I am taking matters into my own hands and having a baby on my own, without a man. I wish I could have had the "traditional" family, but things in my life just haven't turned out that way after 4 serious relationships including one engagement and two common law situations (one with a step son). I have no regrets about them, but things just didn't work out unfortunately and although I feel (and look) like I'm in my 20's still, the reality is that I'm closing in on 40.
However, in this day and age there's no reason why I can't still have my own family. Some of the people in my life (not those closest to me) don't really understand and think I should still allow some time to find Mr. Right. A couple of them even stepped up their "set up" agendas when I first told them of my decision, but I've stopped that in their tracks. I don't believe in rushing into a relationship because I have an imminent goal of becoming pregnant. Imagine going out on a date and telling the guy that I want to be pregnant before the end of 2011 - with or without his help. I doubt there'd be a second date really. And let's say there is a great guy out there and I fall hard and then decide to wait a while and see if he's THE ONE so I can maybe have the traditional family with him but then things fall apart and I find myself right back to where I am right now except a year or two older and my fertility that much decreased? I'm confident that this choice is right for me. I haven't given up on love, just putting it on the backburner for a few years.

Thanks for the interest - hope that helps you understand a bit!



 
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Old Jan 3rd, 2011, 10:43 AM   17
josephine3
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Thanx jennybobenny! hope i wasnt being too nosy! hey u can always try and find mr right after having your baby... i bet there's lots of single dads out there too!

i think that i would be worried about fertility too. i;ve always known i had to have children so i suppose why not take charge? no waiting around for men to make up their mind!

good luck I'd be interested too see how u get on. do u have to pay a lot for insemination? or have u chosen a donor u know?

sorry bout all the questions!!



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Old Jan 3rd, 2011, 11:43 AM   18
toffee87
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I really admire you for going for it! I can see why you would choose to do it. I think i would too x



 
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Old Jan 3rd, 2011, 12:14 PM   19
jennybobenny
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Quote:
Originally Posted by josephine3 View Post
Thanx jennybobenny! hope i wasnt being too nosy! hey u can always try and find mr right after having your baby... i bet there's lots of single dads out there too!

i think that i would be worried about fertility too. i;ve always known i had to have children so i suppose why not take charge? no waiting around for men to make up their mind!

good luck I'd be interested too see how u get on. do u have to pay a lot for insemination? or have u chosen a donor u know?

sorry bout all the questions!!
I'm waiting to get in to the fertility clinic here and at that time I will know for sure what the plan of action is for me, but as far as I can foresee, I think I will be going the IUI route. Some choose to do ICI (even at home) but I think since I am using frozen unknown donor sperm, my chances will be better if I jump right to the intra uterine insemination. Aside from tests, drugs (if needed) and consultations, my clinic charges around $500 per IUI treatment. I think I'd like to choose an open identity donor so my child can contact them at age 18 if wanted and they are a bit more expensive ranging from about $600 to $800 per vial. So in all, about $1200-1500ish per cycle. I have insurance coverage of $5000 per lifetime, so I'm hoping this will be successful within a couple of tries!

I'm sure using a known donor would be much cheaper, but since making this decision to do it on my own, I want the guarantee that I am on my own. I don't want any surprises down the road of either the donor dad or any of their family trying to wind their way into our lives claiming they have rights. For me, even if I am sure the known donor I choose would be cooperative, you cannot guarantee anything in the future or how anyone around them (grandparents etc) would feel and do. The unknown donor route just feels way safer for me.



 
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Old Jan 3rd, 2011, 23:21 PM   20
lilmissbroody
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