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Old Jan 15th, 2011, 07:03 AM   31
Trying to conceive (TTC)
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Sure. It will probably make more sense for your child to have your last name if you are the sole parent than have the last name of someone he/she doesn't even know. There will be enough sensitive issues to deal with without having to worry about people questioning your child's last name being different from yours if there's no "dad" around. Not to mention your child's possible identity crisis!

Plus I've heard of people having a hard time taking their child out of the country on trips and being questioned about having the father's permission etc. You could definitely run in to problems there if you are trying to explain that you are the sole parent and that there is no dad to get permission from if your child's got someone else's last name. They may not buy your story and you will have some troubles there.

My cousin kept her maiden name for her career. When her youngest son was small, he asked her when she was going to become his mom. She didn't understand the question but he explained, "well, you have a different last name than dad and us... so when are you going to be my mom?" And this is within a TRADITIONAL family! I say, keep your baby's name as your own. But again, it's just my opinion.

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Old Jan 15th, 2011, 08:21 AM   32
Trying to conceive (TTC)
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Ok thanks

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Old Jan 15th, 2011, 09:46 AM   33
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I agree, give your child your name. Makes everything so much easier if you're a SMBC! I've kept my maiden name and I'm married, but our daughter has his last name. I need to have a letter written and signed by DH every time I want to leave the country that I am allowed to travel with our daughter.

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Old Jan 19th, 2011, 06:53 AM   34
Trying to conceive (TTC)
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Originally Posted by jennybobenny View Post
Originally Posted by josephine3 View Post
I have never heard of a SMBC before.... maybe u can explain it to me? so, u are able to concieve naturally but choose not to? why?

no offense meant btw, just interested!!

best of luck to u both xx
SMBC - Single Mom By Choice... basically (for me) I find myself 38 and without a serious relationship or marriage. (last relationship was "forever" I thought but ended a year and a half ago. Dating after that was more of a chore than a pleasure - I'd rather be single and happy than dating a jerk and miserable).
My clock is beyond ticking and so I am taking matters into my own hands and having a baby on my own, without a man. I wish I could have had the "traditional" family, but things in my life just haven't turned out that way after 4 serious relationships including one engagement and two common law situations (one with a step son). I have no regrets about them, but things just didn't work out unfortunately and although I feel (and look) like I'm in my 20's still, the reality is that I'm closing in on 40.
However, in this day and age there's no reason why I can't still have my own family. Some of the people in my life (not those closest to me) don't really understand and think I should still allow some time to find Mr. Right. A couple of them even stepped up their "set up" agendas when I first told them of my decision, but I've stopped that in their tracks. I don't believe in rushing into a relationship because I have an imminent goal of becoming pregnant. Imagine going out on a date and telling the guy that I want to be pregnant before the end of 2011 - with or without his help. I doubt there'd be a second date really. And let's say there is a great guy out there and I fall hard and then decide to wait a while and see if he's THE ONE so I can maybe have the traditional family with him but then things fall apart and I find myself right back to where I am right now except a year or two older and my fertility that much decreased? I'm confident that this choice is right for me. I haven't given up on love, just putting it on the backburner for a few years.

Thanks for the interest - hope that helps you understand a bit!
fingers crossed for you, i had been thinking about the whole doing on my own thing myself, different situation but very simular i hope it all goes well for you

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choice , mom , single

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