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Old Dec 20th, 2010, 08:42 AM   1
firstprincess
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Is this justified


My sister has a 1 year old baby girl, sh had hyper emesis during her pregnance, swine flu and as she has brittle asthma was very unwell with this too requiring her own nebuliser and hospitilisation. When her daughter was 3 months old she collapsed and was hospitalised via ambulance because she had acute severe pancreatitis... she nearly died. She has had her gall bladder removed and surgery and is now well recovered. She had a quick labour that lasted less than an hour and yet behaved like a wet weekend for months as though she hasd had something much worse. she is the biggest woss on the planet and will not look after her daughter if she has somewhat of a sniffle! she has a short tolerance on her little girl winging, waking up etc and loses her temper all the time.

her and her partner had a violent row about 8 months ago and split temporarily, she then moved in with our grandparents, and now has a flat on her own by housing benefit and her partner visits a couple of times a week... they are together, but clearly its easier to pay no rent and claim lots of benefit! im a single momma, and struggle so much whereas she is raking it in and her partner earns 50k plus!

she has now announced she is pregnant again, just found out..... and my blood pressure is raging! Is this justified, or am i being a bitch.



 
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Old Dec 20th, 2010, 11:10 AM   2
sleepinbeauty
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I know how hard it is to watch someone in a bad situation dig themselves in deeper. I know you must be hurting on several levels.... If you want to chat send me a PM and we can move to AIM or Yahoo or something. Hang in there.



 
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Old Dec 20th, 2010, 11:16 AM   3
peanut84
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Think id be pretty pissed aswell!!!



 
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Old Dec 20th, 2010, 12:09 PM   4
PixiedustLove
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I know exactly how you feel. My husband and I are WTT until he has a more steady job because I don't like to rely on government assistance or other people to help me do something that is my own job.
However, a friend of a friend (who we see fairly often) has 3 kids (ages 2, 1 1/2, and 4mo) and is on every government program you can think of and lives in a nicer house and drives nicer cars than we do! It's so frustrating to know that this is going on, but I just have to remind myself that I could easily do things her way, but I would not be proud of myself if I did.
Keep your head up. I know it's hard, but I have to constantly tell myself that at the end of the day, I shouldn't be upset/depressed about something someone else is doing.



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Old Dec 20th, 2010, 12:16 PM   5
odd_socks
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sounds bad, but (not that im agreeing with what she is doing because i dont) the government makes things so much more easier for people like her to "twist" the system, i know afew people who are doing exactly the same thing and it really annoys me. One girl i know she has a 3 bed house (with one LO) and only pays 10 towards her rent (which is 600 a month!) and her fella is a sales manager and yet they arent declairing that he pretty much lives there with her and yet the council wont give me and my OH a place together cos we dont have a child so bascially encouraging people to have children just to get a place. My OH will have to move in with me at my parents untill we can get a place of our own



 
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Old Dec 20th, 2010, 12:37 PM   6
firstprincess
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Thankyou so much guys. I'm feeling a bit calmer, feel a bitch for feeling like it because she is my sister BUT its so wrong. Its like she begrudges every moment she has to look after her daughter sometimes, drives me crazy. But like one of you said I could do the same but have the pride not to. So tempted to grass her to the social right now, but I think she has already dug herself a deep enough hole!

Hugs to you all, this forum and my princess keeps me going! xx



 
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Old Dec 20th, 2010, 14:46 PM   7
babydustcass
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i think it would be the kick up the backside she needs, thats awful and so down right disrespectful!



 
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Old Dec 20th, 2010, 16:49 PM   8
HopeBabySoon
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I don't have any personal examples, but I feel that way about complete strangers all the time. The only thing that keeps me from being mad is that I cannot possibly know what led them to this point. Knowing what you know... not sure if I could not be a bitch about it.



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Old Dec 20th, 2010, 18:14 PM   9
kellyann4
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yeah that stinks i know though i have 4 young kids and me and there father need to split we have a horriable relationship and i just found out im preg and we both are like im not even telling my parents they live far that they wont know in till we tell them and i know exactly what they will say - Im a great mom i do it 99% alone lately its more like we are roommates theres way more then iwant to get into here but i know both sides of this story all to well



 
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Old Dec 20th, 2010, 18:21 PM   10
Brieanna
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I hate that people like that make others who really need the help look bad and make it harder to get help. I have known people from both categories and it is really depressing to see people take advantage.



 
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