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Old Jan 8th, 2018, 16:52 PM   2111
CowgirlBaby
Trying to conceive (TTC)
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Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 459
My SO and I are moving to NTNP



 
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Old Jan 12th, 2018, 07:45 AM   2112
music.art
Waiting To Try (WTT)
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Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 3

new here and TTC date finally set!


Hello everybody, I've been stalking BNB posts for about a year but never signed up or posted until now. Yesterday our date for TTC no.1 was finally set for September this year!! (2018) I'm sooo happy I could dance alone for hours Please add me to the list

My WTT journey: We've been married for over a year and we both agreed before marriage that we wanted 3 or 4 children. He's 27 and I'm 25. However we hadn't talked about at which age to start trying and he was very surprised when I first proposed we start right away after we got married. I then found out that he wanted to wait until I'm 30 and he's 32. I said absolutely not, that's too late if we want 4 kids! I said I wanted to try right away. So it's been a (loving, gentle) battle with many conversations, arguments and counterarguments from both of us, and lots of tears and crazy baby-fever on my part for the past 9 months or so (I'm sure many of you can relate - reading forums and stories, looking up videos and articles online about babies, pregnancy, parenting, TTC, birth, and everything in between, during most of my free time... setting countdown timers, journaling, etc...)

After our first serious conversation about it back in April 2017 he had said he could start TTC in January 2020 the earliest. This was of course better than 2023 but I was still quite unhappy about it because there's no real reason to wait other than him wanting us to have more money and him feeling too young to be a dad. We live in Europe and here most of his friends are not even in a serious relationship, but I'm from Latin America, where 25 is perfectly normal for a woman to have a baby. I believe we have more than enough money to start trying. We're both done with our educations, are happily married, been together for 3 and a half years, live alone in an apartment big enough to fit one child in a nice suburban area, he has a full time job and I have a good, stable part-time at walking distance from our apartment, that I intend to keep post-baby. Also, we are both responsible people who never go partying and rarely go out, when we do it's to a restaurant, an opera, or something like that, and he occasionally goes to a sports game, but that's it, so there wouldn't be much to give up regarding our lifestyle when baby comes.

Now yesterday, we FINALLY agreed on a compromise that feels good to me and, surprisingly, to him as well. That is, starting in September of this year (in less than 8 months). This feels much closer and reassuring to me, and he said this way we can save a lot until then and then throughout the pregnancy which would make him feel reassured about his worries (the finances) as we'd have at least a year and a half to save. I've also made some financial compromises like eliminating certain expenses and saving more and basically never eating out, only cooking at home. He knows I'm willing to do anything for TTC sooner and I've proven to him how much I want it and how responsible I've been about it and how mature our conversations have been, so I guess he's really come to terms with it and I'm so happy about that!

Even though I wanted to TTC so badly I was also feeling bad about the fact that I wanted him to want it too, not to force him into it, and whereas you can say that yes I have in a way talked him into trying years sooner than he wanted to, it's happened in a mature and loving way and we've arrived at a conclusion that feels good for both of us after 9 months of discussions and conversations.

So this is to all of you out there in this situation of wanting to try much sooner than your partner - don't give up! Try to let out your emotions in writing so that when you talk to them you can present logical, clear points for discussion and always in a loving and respectful manner. Let the topic rest for a while after a long discussion and come back to it with a fresh perspective, but do be honest and let them know all the emotions you're feeling, you don't have to bottle them up inside! Your partner should always remain your best friend even if you don't agree with them. It's possible to eventually arrive at a compromise that both of you feel OK with!

Good luck everyone!



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Old Jan 13th, 2018, 16:20 PM   2113
tverb84
Waiting To Try (WTT)
BnB Addict
 
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 2,886
Quote:
Originally Posted by CowgirlBaby View Post
My SO and I are moving to NTNP
I put you under this month. Good luck!

Quote:
Originally Posted by music.art View Post
Hello everybody, I've been stalking BNB posts for about a year but never signed up or posted until now. Yesterday our date for TTC no.1 was finally set for September this year!! (2018) I'm sooo happy I could dance alone for hours Please add me to the list

My WTT journey: We've been married for over a year and we both agreed before marriage that we wanted 3 or 4 children. He's 27 and I'm 25. However we hadn't talked about at which age to start trying and he was very surprised when I first proposed we start right away after we got married. I then found out that he wanted to wait until I'm 30 and he's 32. I said absolutely not, that's too late if we want 4 kids! I said I wanted to try right away. So it's been a (loving, gentle) battle with many conversations, arguments and counterarguments from both of us, and lots of tears and crazy baby-fever on my part for the past 9 months or so (I'm sure many of you can relate - reading forums and stories, looking up videos and articles online about babies, pregnancy, parenting, TTC, birth, and everything in between, during most of my free time... setting countdown timers, journaling, etc...)

After our first serious conversation about it back in April 2017 he had said he could start TTC in January 2020 the earliest. This was of course better than 2023 but I was still quite unhappy about it because there's no real reason to wait other than him wanting us to have more money and him feeling too young to be a dad. We live in Europe and here most of his friends are not even in a serious relationship, but I'm from Latin America, where 25 is perfectly normal for a woman to have a baby. I believe we have more than enough money to start trying. We're both done with our educations, are happily married, been together for 3 and a half years, live alone in an apartment big enough to fit one child in a nice suburban area, he has a full time job and I have a good, stable part-time at walking distance from our apartment, that I intend to keep post-baby. Also, we are both responsible people who never go partying and rarely go out, when we do it's to a restaurant, an opera, or something like that, and he occasionally goes to a sports game, but that's it, so there wouldn't be much to give up regarding our lifestyle when baby comes.

Now yesterday, we FINALLY agreed on a compromise that feels good to me and, surprisingly, to him as well. That is, starting in September of this year (in less than 8 months). This feels much closer and reassuring to me, and he said this way we can save a lot until then and then throughout the pregnancy which would make him feel reassured about his worries (the finances) as we'd have at least a year and a half to save. I've also made some financial compromises like eliminating certain expenses and saving more and basically never eating out, only cooking at home. He knows I'm willing to do anything for TTC sooner and I've proven to him how much I want it and how responsible I've been about it and how mature our conversations have been, so I guess he's really come to terms with it and I'm so happy about that!

Even though I wanted to TTC so badly I was also feeling bad about the fact that I wanted him to want it too, not to force him into it, and whereas you can say that yes I have in a way talked him into trying years sooner than he wanted to, it's happened in a mature and loving way and we've arrived at a conclusion that feels good for both of us after 9 months of discussions and conversations.

So this is to all of you out there in this situation of wanting to try much sooner than your partner - don't give up! Try to let out your emotions in writing so that when you talk to them you can present logical, clear points for discussion and always in a loving and respectful manner. Let the topic rest for a while after a long discussion and come back to it with a fresh perspective, but do be honest and let them know all the emotions you're feeling, you don't have to bottle them up inside! Your partner should always remain your best friend even if you don't agree with them. It's possible to eventually arrive at a compromise that both of you feel OK with!

Good luck everyone!
You're added to September.



 
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Old Jan 16th, 2018, 17:09 PM   2114
mme
Other
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 226
Hi guys, I came off pill 11 days ago, we plan to have 2 afs then ttc. My little one will be 5 in April and we have decided its now or never, nervous !



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Old Jan 20th, 2018, 09:01 AM   2115
tverb84
Waiting To Try (WTT)
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 2,886
Quote:
Originally Posted by mme View Post
Hi guys, I came off pill 11 days ago, we plan to have 2 af’s then ttc. My little one will be 5 in April and we have decided it’s now or never, nervous !
Did you want me to put you under April?



 
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