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Old Jan 3rd, 2011, 09:03 AM   1
hopefullone
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im new here pretty sure im going crazy


k so this is sorta hard for me to post and i am kinda embarrassed about it in a way i guess
the thing is i REALLY want a baby so badly im going mad cause i know it wouldnt be the best way and time of doing it
i am 20 years old living at home with my mother still and my friend
i only have a part time job and no bf and heck im still a virgin
but lately i feel like i need to have my own child its like my heart is hurting because it wants one i dream and wish for a baby 24/7 atm and it wont get out of my head
i have even found a guy (that i dont even know! ) whos willing to be a donor sorta but he doesnt want anything to do with us afterwards so i will be alone apart from family
i know my family will be shocked but they will be very supportive and help out with everything but deep down i know i shouldnt do it should i??
i dont know what to do to stop this feeling
please tell me im crazy or something i must be



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Old Jan 3rd, 2011, 09:11 AM   2
Star7890
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I think for you to be truly happy and never regret the decision I would personally wait until you meet the right person who can share the experience with you, but thats just my opinion.. quite a few people decide to do it alone and it works for them though! xx



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Old Jan 3rd, 2011, 09:23 AM   3
RawrDinosaur
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The one thing i'd say is make sure your first time is special and with the right person. Luckily mine was, i've only ever slept with one guy and its the guy i'm still with. I've wanted kids since i was 13 and started my periods and its been hard waiting, but i'm so happy that i can finally try for a family. Not just a baby, but the whole family thing. You want whats best for your kid right? And kids need a daddy if you can provide them with one, in the meantime have you ever thought of a puppy. Mine was like having a baby! And they never grow up and move out :P

Hope you sort your head out, i know how frustrating it is :/ xxxx

edit: im 19 btw, so not far off your age



 
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Old Jan 3rd, 2011, 11:07 AM   4
odd_socks
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^^ i agree make ur first time with someone who is special and who u love, im sooo glad i wanted till i found love. I personally would wait....at least till ur older, i wanted a baby badly at 20 but i wasnt with the right guy at the time, now i am i still have to wait, and yes its soooo truely hard when ur heart is set on having a child and ur body clock is ticking. I wouldnt rush into being a lone parent at ur age purely cus u could miss mr right whilst busy with ur child, who knows whats around the corner, i hope its happiness for u



 
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Old Jan 3rd, 2011, 15:35 PM   5
maggie111
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Sounds like life is hard for you at the moment. I've wanted a baby from a very young age and sometimes I felt an ache for a baby so strongly I was almost grieving. Very difficult to explain the intense emotion that can sometimes come.

Just know that this intensity will pass and that in no time at all you will not want a baby as much and you can hold on till the time is right.

Wouldn't you like to have a baby through a loving union when you're stable as opposed to when you don't have a life partner or your own home?

It's difficult when you know that other people will be in the same situation and having kids but truly - you wont be creating the best environment for your baby that you could do.

Perhaps the best gift you can give your baby is to wait

In the meantime - put all your energies from working out how to have a baby into setting up the best conditions. Go out on a few dates, sort out your finances so you can live on your own etc.

Good luck sweetie.



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Old Jan 3rd, 2011, 22:01 PM   6
Parker_Podge
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First off, no, you're NOT crazy

I am 20 myself & I can very much relate to what you are saying. I have also wanted a baby from a very young age, but I knew that deep down if I had a baby that young & in the conditions I had, that it would make me very selfish because I wouldn't have thought of what was best for my baby. Please don't think that I am saying you are selfish, because I am not. My situation was different in that I just wanted a baby because I wanted one. My family would most certainly NOT have been supportive, so I wouldn't have had that support system to lean on.

Like these other ladies have said, I, too, am glad that I waited until I was in love & knew it was right in my heart to give my OH that sacred gift. I am very proud to say that although I did not wait until I was married to have sex, but that my DH is the only one I have been intimate with. These things will be very important to you later, so please take your time to think everything out & then decide with both your head & your heart.

I sincerely hope that things turn out the way that you want them to!!



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Old Jan 3rd, 2011, 22:40 PM   7
PrayinForBaby
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now I'm going to sound like the crazy one....buuuuuttt

ENJOY SEX FIRST!! Seriously....sex rarely happens anymore and I wish hubby and I had lots more sex now bc now even when we both really want to...we cant!

But, in all seriousness, its hard...being a mommy is very hard and if you can have a daddy involved in the picture it makes life much easier. Nothing wrong with being a single parent, but I dont think many people strive for that, especially at 20 years old. Just be patient, hun, your time will come.



 
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Old Jan 4th, 2011, 03:57 AM   8
Welsh_mum2be
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RawrDinosaur View Post
The one thing i'd say is make sure your first time is special and with the right person. Luckily mine was, i've only ever slept with one guy and its the guy i'm still with. I've wanted kids since i was 13 and started my periods and its been hard waiting, but i'm so happy that i can finally try for a family. Not just a baby, but the whole family thing. You want whats best for your kid right? And kids need a daddy if you can provide them with one, in the meantime have you ever thought of a puppy. Mine was like having a baby! And they never grow up and move out :P

Hope you sort your head out, i know how frustrating it is :/ xxxx

edit: im 19 btw, so not far off your age
I so agree with getting a puppy - thats what we did and he did keep me so preoccupied that my broodyness did stave off for a while - weel Dylan the dog was 3 when Daisy the baby was born. And id say that it was really good practice too, daogs are alot like children in many ways

I really hope you meet someone special soon, so that you don't have to wait for too long to start a family. Baut I really would wait because I personaly think tht bringing a child into the world is so speical and to share that wih someone you love is magical.

Good luck in whatever you decided xxx



 
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Old Jan 4th, 2011, 04:11 AM   9
Josefin
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I tought i was pregnant when i was 18. And when i foud out i wasn't i was so dissapointed. But a few months later i was pregnant I have not had any problem wiht the fact that i was only 18, 19 when my son was born. But i also have a fiance who i knew i'm gonna spend the rest of my life with. I could never have made it on my own. Taking care of a baby is hard work and i bet it's 100 times better to have a family when there is that someone special that you love who is the father. I would wait if i were you becouse when you find the right guy you are gonna be happy that you waited But i know it's hard! Hang in there



 
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Old Jan 4th, 2011, 10:05 AM   10
hopefullone
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hey thanks everyone sadly you guys are right lol i know logically i should wait for the right guy but how long is it gonna take! lol sheesh
btw i do have a dog :P shes very spoilt and sleeping at my feet on my bed atm lol
i just soooo want my own child someone to live for, to love and someone who needs me and to spoil rotten, i mean theres only so much toys and stuff i can buy my dog lol shes got hundreds! literally
i know my family will support me they will be shocked cause i dont really have a life lol but they will support me thats the only reason im even considering this really cause i know i cant do it alone
but you guys are probably right



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