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Old Jan 4th, 2011, 07:12 AM   1
Wizz
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How do you know?


Hey!

Okay some of you may know that i'm the one that i'm the one that is making Mister wait.

From reading alot of the threads and posts i'm clearly in the minority....so what i'm trying to work out is how do you know your ready?

I think i'm expecting this moment where i just become broody!lol!I became obsessed with babies when we found out that both my future SIL were pregnant xmas '09.But after a couple of months it just disappeared!

As Mister has been waiting for a while now and we don't want him to be 35 when he has his first(he'll be turning 31 this month) we've said summer/autumn 2012.This gives me some time to do a bit more travelling which i've always wanted to do and if we get pregnant pretty much staright away i'll be 28 and he'll be 33.

I would ideally like to have all my LO by the time i'm 31(only want 2).

But what happens if i feel i'm not ready by 2012? I know you'll probably say 'then your not ready!' but i would feel like i'm depriving Mister of a LO for longer.

Maybe i'm over thinking this but most of you Ladies seem to know that your ready if that makes sense!

Everyone i've spoken to has said you don't regret having your LO even if they arrive earlier than planned.I just don't want to think what if....

Hope this makes sense!



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Old Jan 4th, 2011, 07:23 AM   2
Button#
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I decided that I wanted to have my first when I was about 28 but I didn't feel especially broody, I think I never really believed I would get to that point. Now I'm 28 and I have a date set and I have been looking into the whole idea of pregnancy and labour and having a child and I'm getting really excited. I was worried about not feeling ready but I don't think I ever will be one of those women whose body cries out to have a baby but I am fascinated and excited by the idea of bing pregnant and having a child and I know I would be upset if we had to postpone our TTC date now.



 
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Old Jan 4th, 2011, 07:29 AM   3
puppycat
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Hi Wizz

I have a friend who was never sure if she was ready for a baby, she fell pg by accident but unfortunately had a mmc and found out at her 12 week scan. That pretty much made her mind up and they went on to have a healthy little daughter, my god-daughter.

I'm not saying you need a mmc to make you broody obviously but maybe your feelings will kick in when you do get pg and see that little heartbeat on the monitor xx



 
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Old Jan 4th, 2011, 07:38 AM   4
PG5K
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i spoke to my husband the other night because he was the one he wasnt sure.
I asked him if he was really ready to have a baby with me. We dont have the option to wait as he is 44 so i dont want to wait any longer.
He said that if he was single he wouldnt crave a baby but if it made me happy then we would try and if we have a baby then he would be happy.

When he was younger he wanted a baby but never had the right person. I think when i came along he had already put not having a baby away so he found it quite hard.

We have decided to go on an amazing holiday this year so we can do some travelling together as i want to give him the chance to do everything.

Sounds a bit of a strange story but i think im trying to say that i think sometimes you just need it to happen to know your ready. If you think about it too much then it is overwealming, even feeling broody i sometimes question myself.



 
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Old Jan 4th, 2011, 07:39 AM   5
Wizz
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Button# View Post
I decided that I wanted to have my first when I was about 28 but I didn't feel especially broody, I think I never really believed I would get to that point. Now I'm 28 and I have a date set and I have been looking into the whole idea of pregnancy and labour and having a child and I'm getting really excited. I was worried about not feeling ready but I don't think I ever will be one of those women whose body cries out to have a baby but I am fascinated and excited by the idea of bing pregnant and having a child and I know I would be upset if we had to postpone our TTC date now.
Button i'm so glad you said this!I think i'm expecting something to happen and i start getting broody!But looking back at my reaction to past situations maybe i won't have that moment.I do tend to mull things,let it simmer and then get excited about it. I have always said I want to have finished having my LO's by the time i'm 31.

I have just joined BnB website so maybe this is me getting myself used to the idea.I'll just let it simmer!



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Old Jan 4th, 2011, 07:51 AM   6
Wizz
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Quote:
Originally Posted by puppycat View Post
Hi Wizz

I have a friend who was never sure if she was ready for a baby, she fell pg by accident but unfortunately had a mmc and found out at her 12 week scan. That pretty much made her mind up and they went on to have a healthy little daughter, my god-daughter.

I'm not saying you need a mmc to make you broody obviously but maybe your feelings will kick in when you do get pg and see that little heartbeat on the monitor xx
Hey Puppycat!

Sorry about your friends loss.

I think it's in my nature to break things down and analyse and analyse!lol!I'm sure once the time comes i will be excited about it.I think i just need to get my head around the fact that not everyone woman has that 'i'm broody,let make a baby now!' moment.



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Old Jan 4th, 2011, 08:01 AM   7
puppycat
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Well it is definitely good to be sensible about these things so it's good to think long and hard and ask lots of questions. Don't feel like you HAVE to ave a baby though, your DH can still make his little sperms until he's 80+! lol. Just look at David Jason!!



 
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Old Jan 4th, 2011, 08:08 AM   8
Wizz
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PG5K View Post
i spoke to my husband the other night because he was the one he wasnt sure.
I asked him if he was really ready to have a baby with me. We dont have the option to wait as he is 44 so i dont want to wait any longer.
He said that if he was single he wouldnt crave a baby but if it made me happy then we would try and if we have a baby then he would be happy.

When he was younger he wanted a baby but never had the right person. I think when i came along he had already put not having a baby away so he found it quite hard.

We have decided to go on an amazing holiday this year so we can do some travelling together as i want to give him the chance to do everything.

Sounds a bit of a strange story but i think im trying to say that i think sometimes you just need it to happen to know your ready. If you think about it too much then it is overwealming, even feeling broody i sometimes question myself.
Hey PG5K!

Doesn't sound strange at all.I understand where your coming from in terms of maybe just letting it happen when we agreed in 2012 but me being me i start thinking what happens if i'm still thinking 'what if i wait a little longer?'.I think it really is just me and my expectations of how i should feel and I do find it overwhelming...esp knowing that 2012 is next year!

What do you question yourself about?(if you don't mind me asking)



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Old Jan 4th, 2011, 08:21 AM   9
Wizz
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Puppycat- Lol!I understand what your saying.I don't feel pressured into having LO's when i don't want them.I've said i would like to of had all my kids by the time i'm 31 but i'm aware that Mister would of liked to of been a Dad two years ago so i know that he's waiting for me.He said ideally he'd want to start trying late next year and I know if i said i wasn't ready he'd wait longer but i'd feel bad for making him wait even longer to have his first.
I think that guilt would come from knowing full well that i want kids and that realistically adding another 6 months,for example,probably won't make that big of a difference...well in terms of me 'knowing'.

If thuis has turned into a load of incoherent rambling i'm sorry!lol!



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Old Jan 4th, 2011, 11:36 AM   10
odd_socks
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i dont think u ever know 150% that ur ready, but when broodiness takes over and babies are all u think about and all u yearn for, then u are ready. I think once u know ur pregnant, it might take a while to feel ready (lets face it its a scary thing to go through) but u will know when u hold that tiny little baby that u wanted it from day one. Be glad ur OH is ready i wish mine was



 
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