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Old Jan 20th, 2011, 05:19 AM   1
MummytoSummer
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Terrified of my feelings if I have number 2


I have a beautiful daughter, Summer, who I absolutely idolise and adore. She's my perfect princess and without doubt the absolute best thing in my life.

My husband and I know we want at least one more baby and our plan is to try in May when Summer will be 10 months old. We both feel that if I was to fall pregnant straight away we'd be happy with that age gap, and if it takes longer then that's fine too.

We've both been really excited for May to hurry up and get here but now after reading a couple of different articles online and in magazines I'm so scared of having a second child. I know that everyones feelings are different and no two people are the same and I may be the complete opposite to the mothers in these articles but it was saying how that when you have a second baby, although you still have love for your first child, you become very protective over your new baby and
can sort of 'go off' your older child.

Like I said I know this probably won't be the case but it has scared me so much, I couldn't bare the thought of going off Summer and loving a new baby more. It upsets me just thinking about it. As much as I dearly want another baby it's got me questioning having #2.

I guess I won't know till it happens and I pray I'm not like that but I just wondered how anyone felt when they had their second child? Did you feel any differently towards your first? I guess I just want reassurance that there's always enough love to go around!

Thank you x



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Old Jan 20th, 2011, 05:23 AM   2
msfoxymax
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I feel the exact same so don't think your the only one lol x



 
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Old Jan 20th, 2011, 05:23 AM   3
xarlenex
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I guess thats a normal fear, but just wanted to say my aunt has 5, and loves them all dearly x



 
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Old Jan 20th, 2011, 05:24 AM   4
moomin_troll
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im glad i waited till zane was older before i got pregnant with baby 2. i was just as scared as u and thought what if this and that. but then i went for it and got pregnant straight away and im over the moon about baby 2 and cant wait for zane to meet him or her.

because zanes older he will be more included and he can help me look after baby so he wont be left out and then we will have our play time while babies lying down, so again he still has me to himself sometimes.

id of been too scared to have a small age gap seeing how zane was from about 12 months onwards lol hes crazy now but has just started really doing what hes told.

if ur not sure then id say wait, but u wont love ur princess any less then u do now x



 
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Old Jan 20th, 2011, 06:01 AM   5
MummytoSummer
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Thank you, I guess it's just hard to imagine being able to love another as much as you do with the first. Although in saying that I'm not worried about loving the second enough, it's more about not loving Summer any less!

Summer is such a bright little girl, already saying mama, dada and baba etc, crawling and pulling herself up. Hopefully by the time another baby does come into things she'll understand enough and want to help. We've always wanted close age gaps for our children so they can grow up closely together as friends. I have friends who have children very close in age who say it's amazing and in some ways easier than their children that aren't as close in age. Only time will tell though and I think I'll see how I feel about things when May gets here! Although if I'm half as broody as I am now then I'm sure we'll be ttc!

Thank you all again though, it's nice sometimes just to have that reassurance!

X



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Old Jan 20th, 2011, 07:22 AM   6
moomin_troll
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good luck x



 
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Old Jan 20th, 2011, 08:02 AM   7
BlaireUK
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My mum had 5 kids and we're all very close together in age (year and 2 or 4 months between us all). We are all very close now which is brilliant and I often ask my Mum how she felt when her other children coming along. She says it was like her heart and ability to love just expanded. Her existing child (me) didn't lose any of her affecion at all and her new arrival just ift right in like they'd always been there.

I think it's lovely how you're so concerned about Summer not getting any less of your love.



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Old Jan 20th, 2011, 08:28 AM   8
Twag
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I am the eldest of 4 children and I have never felt any less love from my mum in fact I almost feel more as I am her first (probably wrong but)
There is 4 years between me and my sister (my father is not my biological father but is to the rest of my siblings) then 2 years between my 2 sisters and a year between my sister and brother!
Ok confusing so birthdates 1980, 1984, 1986, 1988 lol

I think it is lovely you are that in love with Summer but I think you have more than enough love to love them both equally



 
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Old Jan 20th, 2011, 08:42 AM   9
MummytoSummer
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BlaireUK and Twag thank you so much. I didn't think of asking anyones opinions who were the actual children involved. It makes me feel better to think that if mums can give out enough love for 5 plus children then surely I'll have enough to give to one or two more.

And Twag, I know what you mean about being the first child and having that special bond with your mum. Im first born to my parents and although my mum loves my brother and I equally she has said that there's always something special about your first asits how you learnt everything and all those 'first' memories go hand in hand.

I love Summer with all my heart and I honestly can't ever see anyone taking her place or any of my love for her, I like to think that when the time for #2 does come along I've got a whole separate lot of love set aside in my heart for that baby too so that Summer never goes without.

Thank you all of you though, it has made me feel better!

X



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Old Jan 20th, 2011, 08:48 AM   10
moomin_troll
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im one in 4 lol i wasnt impressed when my sister was born as i wasnt the baby anymore lol but i got used to her



 
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