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Old Feb 2nd, 2011, 10:41 AM   1
Jess137
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Confused and looking for an outside opinion...


So I'm new to this site but I want to get opinions from someone other than family. I am 23 and my husband and I got married in October. We have been together 6 years and living together for 3. My problem is that we have discussed having kids and want to start trying in a few months. My family thinks we should wait until we can "afford" a baby. That has always been my opinion too. His family thinks we should start right away because you never know how much time you have. I've been told by others that you will never be able to "afford" kids. I want to be a mom so badly. Seeing my nieces and nephew makes me so jealous. We both have good stable jobs and my husband actually just got a promotion and is making good money. Do you think we're crazy? I literally cannot stop thinking about babies.



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Old Feb 2nd, 2011, 10:47 AM   2
Eternal
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there is no perfect time, and it can be a long battle. i feel easily with my first but my battle for a sibling had been hardrer.

if your both happy to try and your relationship is good, i would, as long as you know you can afford whatever you decide ie you not going back to work or maternity leave, childcare etc. times are tight for most of us but you manage. good luck xxx



 
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Old Feb 2nd, 2011, 15:25 PM   3
odd_socks
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Welcome ur post u could have been talking about my OH hes exactly the same, my point is if u wait until u can "afford kids" it will never happen, on the board i posted a topic called "average costs" and i put a list together of everything we would need and it was 400. Someone posted on there a baby costs as much or as little as u want. A lot of women and some men on here know how u feel, non stop thinking about babies, broodiness and jealous of friends who are expecting. we all here to help each other x



 
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Old Feb 2nd, 2011, 15:40 PM   4
HanaLu
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The only way you could 'afford' is by winning the lottery! I used to work in a nursery and OH MY DAYS! Some of the cheques that came in for fees were intense! And that was a pretty low cost nursery! and you've got everything else on top of that and hobbies and wants as they get older! It's like WOW!

Me and my OH decided it was more of a time issue, the fact at the moment he's posted out of the UK and will be for a while longer. So it's a case of how much time will we both have for each other during the pregnancy and how much will he actually get to see his baby afterwards. So roll on 19th April 2014!



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Old Feb 2nd, 2011, 15:44 PM   5
MissKM
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totally agree odd_socks!! of course babies come with extra cost but you both have stable jobs so im sure you will be fine. good luck x



 
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Old Feb 2nd, 2011, 16:02 PM   6
i want it all
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We waited until we could afford our dd before we had her. And I am pleased we did it this way! She is spoilt! I didn't want the government bringing up my children. I wasnted to be able to say I provided for you. My husband, got a couple of promotions and is now earning good money, so we're comfortable. We have just bought a bigger house in preperation to fill with more little ones, we can go on holiday, weekends away, trips to the farm, park, softplay, without worrying how we're going to pay bills.

The decision has to be yours though. If you're both ready for it, and are happy then why not? But if there is any doubt, give it a couple of months, and re-assess the situation.



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Old Feb 2nd, 2011, 16:20 PM   7
geogem
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I believe if you wait until you can afford it you may never get there, the thing is some people are lucky enough to get too that point but as long as you can afford the basics of clothes, food nappies etc then go for it!! you only need as much money as you can afford realistically but you are both working and seem to be quite stable I think you'll be fine.



 
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