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Old Feb 15th, 2011, 17:34 PM   1
ebony marie
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just out of interest..

i know lots of people have an opinion on teenage mums..
but how do you know when 'the time is right'
surely if you and yout partner feel ready to have a child then you should, no matter about the age?
cos ive been ready for ages.. just keep waiting cos everyone says 'your too young'
i mean.. What is TOO YOUNG ??

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Old Feb 15th, 2011, 17:41 PM   2
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I have to say as a woman of 27 I'm glad I didn't have children as a teenager, looking back to my teenage years and my early 20s, I was very immature for my age.

I didn't start to have sex until I was 20, but even then the things I did showed I wasn't responsiable enough for a child. Seriously I think it depends on the individual. You have your whole life and everyone is on a different path.

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Old Feb 15th, 2011, 21:55 PM   3
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I have to agree with Purple rose. I am about to turn 30 and even though I couldn't wait to have kids when I was a teenager I was no way ready for them or their responsibility, even when I had my first at 24 I felt so over whelmed and it was a lot harder than I expected..I am so happy I lived my life and did what I wanted to before kids. I really think that its not the best thing for either mom nor child to begin having children while a teenager but that is just my opinion

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Old Feb 16th, 2011, 04:00 AM   4
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I am 30 turning 31 in April and going to hopefully start TTC for #1 this year, this is just the way things have panned out and I always have wanted children, I would have liked to have a baby slightly younger say 28/29 but didn't happen that way

I have seen my sister and my brother struggle with being young and having children my sister was 18 when she had her 1st and my brother was 19 when he had his 1st and they struggled to balance going out and being young with friends and the responsibility of having children! luckily for them they had our parents and me (i am 8 years older than my brother and 6 years older than my youngest sister) to help them out with childminding etc they are both still with their partners my brother is now married and my sister engaged and they both now have #2 and are happy but I just feel for them as I feel they have both missed out on so much of their teenage growing up years

My Mum was 17 when she had me and we are very close and she had the other 3 before she was 30, now that we are all grown up her and my dad are able to go away and do more stuff together

If you are ready and are stable and feel that you have done everything you want to do before you have children then why not but you have plenty of time and you should enjoy being young whilst you can as once that time has gone you will never get it back

Sorry sounds like a whole essay and I don't want to be judgemental or anything I just wanted to help

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Old Feb 16th, 2011, 06:21 AM   5
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I think when you're ready to have kids is such a personal thing.

I've been on this site for a few months now and I was initially really surprised by how many girls in their late teens/early 20's are on, having kids or desperately wanting kids.

When I was in my early 20's I was living it up at Uni, going out and travelling with my friends and boyfriend (now husband) and I honestly don't think kids crossed my mind before I was about 26 when I started thinking about marriage, my career and a ten year plan! I look back now and loved that stage of my life - I don't regret any aspect of my 20's and i'm so glad I embraced it.

I suppose what i'm saying is the way it happened for me has suited my situation. If you are young and having strong maternal feelings then I think maybe that means you are ready to have children and mature enough to consider the impact they will have on your life. I've been impressed with how mature so many of the younger ladies are on this site -so I think age is irrelevant.


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Old Feb 16th, 2011, 07:42 AM   6
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I think it totally depends on the person. Some people are mature younger and some are not. I would just make sure that I have got my education and some work experience first and my financials in order.

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Old Feb 16th, 2011, 08:50 AM   7
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when i was a teenager making babies wasn't on my mind. but now im in my early 20s it always is. and i understand that once you get broody there is no way your going to get unbroody! so you have to play the waiting game.
however now i feel i am mentally ready as ive matured, don't enjoy clubbing and drinking anymore, and am independant i.e dont depend on my parents for anything.
financially, and physically im not yet ready, my relationship is new, we dont live together and im not earning enough. when these are all ticked of it will be time.
i think some teenagers may feel emotionally ready, but it is unlikely that they are independant, and have experienced responsibilty to the level that is needed. so it really does depend on the individual.

Old Feb 16th, 2011, 09:36 AM   8
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I do not think teenagers are always bad parents but it makes sense that a lot are less likely to be in the right place to plan on TTC I think. I do not think age (younger or older than 'average' to TTC) has much effect on parenting ability so much as personality and circumstance does. I think it is the right time when you and your partner have been together for a while, living together somewhere suitable for a child, are emotionally ready and can afford one. I do not think waiting a long time if you are in the right place is always best, I always think it is worth bearing in mind that a woman's fertility decreases from around the age of 24! I am not saying this is set in stone, it is just my opinion.

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Old Feb 16th, 2011, 12:30 PM   9
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I think its totally personal choice, im glad i wasnt a teenage mum but that was cus the relationship i was in as a teen ended at 21. My OH is almost 22 and still feels he is too young but i dont feel that at his age he is too young, i just think its personal choice really x

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Old Feb 16th, 2011, 12:41 PM   10
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I think it's totally a personal choice too. A teenage mum can make as good a mum as a lady in her 30's.

I think it's also about what's important to you in life too. I didn't want to be a mum at 18/19 because in life I wanted a good career, I want to be able to work 3/4 days a week and earn a high wage to provide for my family, with lots of nice holidays, days out and a nice big house eventually, for me it made sense to train 1st (7 years), then have children...I'm 28 this month. For others, they may just prefer it to do the other way round, or have a job they can go straight into rather than have to train for years..

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