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Old Feb 17th, 2011, 09:25 AM   11
Regalpeas
Trying to conceive (TTC)
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I'm so sorry for your loss I can not imagine, but I know it must be a deep pain.

Some people just don't understand how hard all of this is on many of us. Don't feel bad for how you feel. You have a right to feel down and out about waiting. However, give yourself a time frame to be down i.e.: "I'll really dig into this down period until next month" Then I will get out and get going despite what I may be feeling. Before you know it you'll be a few months away from trying again.

In the meantime maybe you can set small goals that can be attained while you wait. There's nothing like accomplishing the things we have control over.

Like I kept telling myself I will lose weight until.... I have been off and on but it takes my mind off of waiting and then trying.

I hope this helps. Good luck with everything. I wish you a speedy wait.



 
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Old Feb 17th, 2011, 10:12 AM   12
MissKM
Waiting To Try (WTT)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Princessa View Post
I'm glad (but sorry!) you can relate. Yes, I know how you feel - I can't speak to OH without it getting very heated. It upsets me because we're so great together in every other way, and I don't want this to end up being a deal breaker for us. But I suppose that is up to me to decide eventually.

You're very right, I do need to set some goals for myself... I just can't think of anything that I want, I guess the want for a baby overshadows everything else.
the arguments nearly destroyed the relationship between me and OH not long ago...i just could shift the feelings i had in the slightest...but to come to some sort of compromise with him i sat a made a list of goals that it would be best to achieve before we TTC (i always new they had to be done first but i know how over powering the feelings of wanting to try for a baby can be, and they often took over my every thought)...heres my goals they might help a little
1) move back to my home london (which is quite a new development)
2) finish uni
3) me and my OH to have a stable job (as we are both currently students)
4) have a least 1 silly little holiday with my OH (can u believe after two years we have never been away alone together)

honestly hun i can totally relate to not being able to think about anything else...it really can be quite soul destroying
could you maybe set some goals like; starting a nursery for the baby, and wanting that complete before you start to try, i mean depending on you this could make you feel worse but it might help you feel better too.
maybe have a set amount of money you want saved, even just a really small amount (it will give you a little focus).
xx



 
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Old Feb 17th, 2011, 19:24 PM   13
Star7890
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Me and my fiancée are also waiting due to uni, he had a well paid full time job but I'm still studying and sometimes I get to the point were I just cant take it anymore because my desire to be a mother overrides everything. I just feel empty, and I know I will feel like this until I get our baby in my arms....
Im trying to concentrate on uni, work, losing a bit of weight and redecorating the house before we ttc which will hopefully keep me busy.
It makes it harder because my OH wants a LO as much as me so its VERY hard to resist jumping in with both feet and dealing with the stresses later :/
I'm due to graduate May 2012. But hoping to start ttc in October/November 2011.
Im sorry for the loss of your first baby it must be so hard xx



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