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Old Feb 16th, 2011, 13:12 PM   1
Princessa
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Baby Crazy... and hurting.


Hi ladies, I could really use some of your support.
I am having a lot of trouble accepting that I'm waiting to try... I believe it's because if I had my way, there would be no wait at all.
My boyfriend and I lost a child over a year ago now, she would have been 9 months old. I suppose I feel that I was supposed to be a mother now, and being denied that is breaking my heart...
We have set a date to start trying, but it seems so far away, and every day is a struggle for me.
I just need some help from you all, maybe to know that I'm not alone in how I feel. Thank you for reading.



 
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Old Feb 16th, 2011, 13:30 PM   2
MissKM
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hi princessa, im really sorry about your loss, i cant even imagine how you must feel and im not sure how much help i can be but i can say that your not alone with wanting TTC now, its heartbreaking sometimes fighting with WTT dates and goals before you can try.
is there a reason that your TTC date is so far away? xx



 
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Old Feb 16th, 2011, 13:37 PM   3
MummytoSummer
 
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I'm so sorry hun that you're hurting the way you are. I can only imagine the heartache you've been through.

There are loads of us on here waiting for various reasons and for various lengths of time so you certainly don't ever need to feel alone.

Do you have any other goals you can work towards during your wait? I find having other things to countdown to can help take my mind off it to a certain extent although I know that once that wanting feeling sets in in your heart it's very difficult to forget.

I hope your time in wtt flies by and before you know it you'll be holding your beautiful baby.

Xxx



 
Old Feb 16th, 2011, 13:43 PM   4
Princessa
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Thank you MissKM, it's great to know I'm not alone. I'm sorry you're hurting too!
Our TTC date is far in the future because OH is studying, and would like to be finished with his degree before we try... I can definitely understand that, but unfortunately it doesn't make the ache any less.
I just find it hard to talk to him or anyone about it.



 
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Old Feb 16th, 2011, 13:47 PM   5
Princessa
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Thank you MummytoSummer, your post made me tear up!
I suppose I've given up on a lot of my other goals, as I'm too caught up in how I'm feeling about this. I am going to uni, but I can't seem to focus on anything and it's hard to want to continue. It would be nice to have something to strive for, but I find it hard to have any motivation.



 
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Old Feb 16th, 2011, 13:49 PM   6
MissKM
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thats similar to my situation...me and my OH are both at uni and are moving to my home...london...before we TTC. it is really difficult but you can always vent on here. i find it much more helpful than venting to my OH cause it just ends up in an argument (very unproductive).
i agree with mummytosummer though, ive found that creating goals and giving myself something to work towards has really helped ease the waiting.
but i dont think the want for a baby ever really subsides xx



 
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Old Feb 16th, 2011, 14:25 PM   7
MummytoSummer
 
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Aw Hun, I really do feel for you. It must be difficult to see past the hurt you feel and ever see the positive things that are to come. But whatever you do don't give up on your other goals. Instead just think how all the stuff you'll be doing before you ttc will benefit your future babies. You and oh finishing uni will be a benefit in the long term.
Whenever you feel down and like you have no motivation then come on here and vent to us, that's what we're here for. But try (and believe me I know it's easy to say) but try to look to the bigger picture. You and your oh both finished uni with nothing else to worry about. You can ttc with no other stresses in your life.

I promise you you'll be just fine xxx



 
Old Feb 16th, 2011, 14:25 PM   8
MummytoSummer
 
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Aw Hun, I really do feel for you. It must be difficult to see past the hurt you feel and ever see the positive things that are to come. But whatever you do don't give up on your other goals. Instead just think how all the stuff you'll be doing before you ttc will benefit your future babies. You and oh finishing uni will be a benefit in the long term.
Whenever you feel down and like you have no motivation then come on here and vent to us, that's what we're here for. But try (and believe me I know it's easy to say) but try to look to the bigger picture. You and your oh both finished uni with nothing else to worry about. You can ttc with no other stresses in your life.

I promise you you'll be just fine xxx



 
Old Feb 17th, 2011, 05:26 AM   9
Princessa
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Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 95
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissKM View Post
thats similar to my situation...me and my OH are both at uni and are moving to my home...london...before we TTC. it is really difficult but you can always vent on here. i find it much more helpful than venting to my OH cause it just ends up in an argument (very unproductive).
i agree with mummytosummer though, ive found that creating goals and giving myself something to work towards has really helped ease the waiting.
but i dont think the want for a baby ever really subsides xx

I'm glad (but sorry!) you can relate. Yes, I know how you feel - I can't speak to OH without it getting very heated. It upsets me because we're so great together in every other way, and I don't want this to end up being a deal breaker for us. But I suppose that is up to me to decide eventually.

You're very right, I do need to set some goals for myself... I just can't think of anything that I want, I guess the want for a baby overshadows everything else.



 
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Old Feb 17th, 2011, 05:46 AM   10
Princessa
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Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 95
Quote:
Originally Posted by MummytoSummer View Post
Aw Hun, I really do feel for you. It must be difficult to see past the hurt you feel and ever see the positive things that are to come. But whatever you do don't give up on your other goals. Instead just think how all the stuff you'll be doing before you ttc will benefit your future babies. You and oh finishing uni will be a benefit in the long term.
Whenever you feel down and like you have no motivation then come on here and vent to us, that's what we're here for. But try (and believe me I know it's easy to say) but try to look to the bigger picture. You and your oh both finished uni with nothing else to worry about. You can ttc with no other stresses in your life.

I promise you you'll be just fine xxx
Thank you for your kind words hon.

I do need to be looking to the future, and towards other goals, I think being able to vent here will be very helpful! I'm just concerned that I won't be able to wait, and will end up destroying me relationship with OH because of it. He deserves better than that!



 
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