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Old Feb 16th, 2011, 13:41 PM   1
acyana
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Living situation and Baby???? Help!


Ok new dilemma for me. This feels unending!

1.) I work in one city and live part time with my in-laws, rest of the time with OH
2.) OH lives in another city in a house with his brother while going into his second semester of his second year of pharmacy school
3.) OH's brother's wife (who doesn't live in the same house) will move in end of OH's second year.
4.) OH and brother's wife DO NOT get along.
5.) 4th year pharmacy school for OH would be strictly clinical rotations (no classes) which can be arranged to be in the city I work in.

Sooo OH wants to try for a baby, and have us live in the house he has (after his brother moves out in Apr/May). If we keep trying and I get 3 months maternity leave, it will take us into the second half of OH's third year. After which he says we'll move to the city of my place of work into a rental home.

Is it good to uproot after 3 months with baby? Wouldn't it be better to wait until Jul/Aug to TTC so that we could settle one month pre-baby into a rental close to my work? I've never had a baby, I am assuming it'll be VERY stressful with a 3 month old (if that) to be moving...

I just don't know



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Old Feb 16th, 2011, 13:56 PM   2
MissKM
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hi acyana,
hmm i have to say if its only the difference of a few months i think id wait. i dont have any kids myself but ive always been around them and i think it would be very stressful trying to move with a young baby, your most probably going to be shattered as it is if your LO will only be 3months, i know i wouldnt like to think about moving at that point.
but again everyone is different...if u think you will be able to move with ease then go for it.
im not sure if it would be stressful for the baby though xx



 
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Old Feb 16th, 2011, 14:13 PM   3
hannab
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i dont have a LO but id just wait if the difference is only a couple of months. id want to make sure i had everything how i wanted it before LO was born and moving house is stressful enough as it is anyway!



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Old Feb 16th, 2011, 14:28 PM   4
acyana
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This is exactly what I keep telling my OH... But he's adamant about continuing to try. I don't want to pack up house and settle again after the LO. He's a man and doesn't see it. I can't convince him either.

He thinks I'm being stubborn or difficult. I understand the house here is paid for. I understand that someone has to move out by this summer. I understand with one salary it would make sense to keep the house and not pay rent. But, is it wrong for me to have this dream? Or is this a part of the sacrifices needed when you think about starting a family?



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Old Feb 16th, 2011, 14:38 PM   5
hannab
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i think you have just as much a right to decide when you want to ttc as him, probably more as youll be doing all the hard work. if you want to wait a few months you should wait. if he does understand why you want to wait he should just understand that its what you want and support your choice.



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Old Feb 16th, 2011, 14:39 PM   6
i want it all
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I do have a LO and I think I would wait too! I ended up with a c-section, and was useless for almost 3 months! I don't think I could have coped with moving house - babies take up a lot of space, and have a lot of things!



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Old Feb 16th, 2011, 14:41 PM   7
MissKM
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its not wrong to have any dream and although having a family does come with sacrifices, if they are not the right ones to make or its not the right time to make them, thats a really important thing to consider.
do this at your own pace and in your own way, you will be happier for it. we can all be stubborn but sometime it just takes a little while for us to see error, you OH will see this soon, its not fair for him to push for something that your not ready for x



 
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Old Feb 16th, 2011, 14:49 PM   8
acyana
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His school is very important to me, as him finishing will provide our family with a giant boost of income. I've been very supportive of him all this while. I want to make his school situation easier for him. He's not very comfortable and is very stressed with it as it is. He realizes he's a 31 year old student and wants to do the best for his family.

I feel sometimes that I'm just adding expenses to our situation. I would like to conceive now... but the situation is not perfect. I am 30 years old.. I don't want to be too old when we have our baby. Should I wait for the perfect situation. Or take things in stride and have the situation work itself out.

@I want it all... I never considered having a c-section. That's a good point. I need to bring that up as well...

I have insurance through my job (I work in a hospital)... My job is important to me.. I don't want to give it up. Medical care would be easier as insurance will pay 100% at the hospital in which I work...

Ohhh the dilemma!



 
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