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Old Feb 20th, 2011, 09:16 AM   1
LauraA
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What would you do?


Hi everyone, I'm new to this so not sure if I should be posting here. I'm 28, been married for 9 months and been with OH for 10 years. We are hoping to start TTC in July/August once some wedding debts are cleared. Live in a decent 3 bed house and both have full time jobs but I worry about money constantly and whether we can afford to have a baby! House still needs a bit of work and worry that now is not the right time, but then wonder if there ever is? Would really like a baby before i'm 30 and panic that it could take months. Now wondering whether to wait another year and try and save up, or whether to just go for it? Any help/ experiences welcome. Thanks.



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Old Feb 20th, 2011, 09:44 AM   2
LovelyGirl85
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Like you say - is the time ever right! We didn't plan Amy but we make it work and everything is great. Your priorities and things you spend your money on change drastically when you have a child.

To be honest you'll never have enough money or enough room lol!



 
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Old Feb 20th, 2011, 09:54 AM   3
mmlovepink
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thats difficult.

i mean i dont even have my own home yet... im 20... been with my oh for three years (not married) and we are still ttc. im still in uni, he has just graduated... so to me, you are in a better off position to be trying than i am.

like lovelygirl85 said, when will it ever be the right time? we will never be prepared enough or ready enough.

if you feel right doing it now and your instincts tell you to ttc now, then do so. bu if youre going to be stressing over money and constantly unsure then wait.

but like you said, you want a baby before youre 30... its your choice, but i think if you ttc now, you would make it work like many other mothers do =)



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Old Feb 20th, 2011, 10:38 AM   4
odd_socks
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A baby costs as much or as little as u allow, as said above is the timing ever right? Try thinking what if u had an "oppsy" would u cope ok then? It really is ur choice, what does ur OH think about it? is he happy to TTC now? x



 
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Old Feb 20th, 2011, 10:46 AM   5
LauraA
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Yeah my OH would try now, he doesn't worry about money and just says we'll be fine and we'll cope, i'm lucky, he would have tried ages ago. I know if we had an accident we'd be fine, but I think its the planning to try that panics me slightly! I think i'm just going to go with my original plan and try not to worry as much! I came off the pill last month to get it out of my system, so I think its just because it all seems so real now, after talking about it for so long!



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Old Feb 20th, 2011, 10:55 AM   6
odd_socks
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that sounds like a good idea chick it sounds like u would be just fine if u had an accident which is a good start and great that ur OH is on board. Dont get me wrong its good that u are thinking practically though. Maybe when closer to the time u can NTNP (not try not protect) that way it isnt full on pressure of TTC and u can relax and just enjoy letting nature take its course x



 
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Old Feb 20th, 2011, 10:56 AM   7
gardenofedens
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A friend of mine with three kids says there never is a "right time" - that there will always be something more that could be done before TTC. And after thinking about it, they're right. I had initially wanted to wait until after I finished school and maybe even until after I had been teaching for a few years but if I did that, I'd be at least 32ish before I started and I want a big family. So, OH and I will be TTC after our wedding in June and hopefully getting a BFP right away!



 
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Old Feb 20th, 2011, 11:00 AM   8
MummytoSummer
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I agree totally with the others, there's never a 'right' time. You can make things work whatever your situation. Loads of people have unplanned babies and still make it work. The fact that you and your oh want a baby, have your own place, have steady jobs, that's about as good as it can be.
If you wait for enough money etc you would probably wait forever! As odd socks said a baby can cost as much as you make it!

X



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Old Feb 20th, 2011, 11:04 AM   9
Coconut bird
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I agree, it does seem to be a big commitment, and I worry about how we will cope, but looking at all my friends who have had babies, they all seem to manage ok, even when they have given up work to look after the baby. I think its one of those situations that sort of works itself out!



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Old Feb 20th, 2011, 11:44 AM   10
LauraA
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Thanks everyone, I know its what I really want and feel like i've been waiting forever for his time to come round! Smetimes just have moments of panic, which I think I always will, but it'll all work out in the end.



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