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Old Feb 23rd, 2011, 13:02 PM   1
baby_hopes23
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Debating age gap between baby #1 & #2, any advice?


Hey ladies!

It wouldn't be a normal day for me if I wasn't constantly thinking about how much of an age gap I want between my DS and baby #2. It doesn't help that my DH tells me he wants another now, then says let's wait until DS is 1yr old, then says actually now lol, make up your mind man!! Some days I think I want to wait until DS is at least one, maybe closer to two until we TTC #2, and some days I think what the heck, let's just start now and they'll be closer in age and best buds...then I have flashbacks of newborn life lol, my DS had colic, is lactose intolerant and just began sleeping through the night a month ago IDK if I'm ready to go back to that mayhem or how I can handle two LO's.

Anybody have any advice from personal experience or how you plan on spacing your kids?

Much appreciated



 
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Old Feb 23rd, 2011, 13:23 PM   2
MummytoSummer
 
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Hiya!

Our lo's aren't far off the same age and I have days like you when I wonder how I'd cope with another! I'm lucky in that Summer has been such a contented baby, sleeping through from 6 weeks and just a dream. I'm not stupid enough to think my second will be the sane but we've always known we want a close age gap. I know loads of my friends that have had baby's close in age and further apart and generally they seem to say the closer the better and it's actually easier to get the 'baby' stages out of the way together and their kids end up being really close friends which is exactly what I want for Summer and any brothers and sisters she will have.

We plan on ttc number 2 when Summer will be 10 months old in May although as I only go back to work in April sometimes I do consider pushing it back to July when she turns 1 but I know come May I'll be dying to try, plus my hubby was desperate to start trying months ago so I don't think he'd be too impressed if I pushed the date back even more!
I conceived first try with Summer so IF it happened as fast again there would potentially be a 19/20 month gap between them.

X



 
Old Feb 23rd, 2011, 13:27 PM   3
MissKM
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hiya, i hoping to have my kids a few years apart, maybe about 2years between them but im not entirely sure, im not sure why it just seems kinda nice for them but at the same time not so difficult for me.

however saying that im 20 and my little brother is 5, and i wouldnt have it any other way. i enjoyed growing up an only child (as strange as people might find that) and when my little brother came about i was over the moon...we have such a fabulous relationship and i love him to bits.

for most mums though this age gap isnt really ideal...from a sisters perspective its great xx



 
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Old Feb 23rd, 2011, 13:28 PM   4
Aprilshowers
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My sister has a 3 year age gap between her two and she was still exhausted. She claims that it's hard no matter what the gap is because a newborn needs loads of attention and then you are dealing with a toddler as well. There is 13 months between myself and my sister and my Mom coped well because she said that my sister was much easier then I was LOL
I think it's nice when the children grow up together as I was glad to always have my sister to play with.



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Old Feb 23rd, 2011, 13:49 PM   5
gardenofedens
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Ideally I think I want our kids to be 2 years apart, I think OH wants them to be 3 years apart but I don't think I want to go on BC again so we're more than likely going to let nature take over. My brother and I are 10 years apart and I LOVE it. OH is 10 years younger than his sister and he loves it too. But being 27 already, I don't expect to be having kids at almost 40 and since we want at least 3 (more if we can afford it), we have to keep the age gap pretty small.



 
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Old Feb 23rd, 2011, 14:09 PM   6
Heidi
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We are going to try for #2 when our DD is 1 so there will be around a 2 year gap between them, i would love to try sooner but i preciously had a C-section so want my body to have a reasonable amount of healing time 1st



 
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Old Feb 23rd, 2011, 14:18 PM   7
baby_hopes23
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Thank you all SO much for your input, I really do appreciate it! I kind of feel like the debate on age gap is similar to the debate on when the best time is to have your 1st, timing will never be absolutely perfect, but when it does happen, you find yourself as ready as you can be and somehow you make it work

I do want to enjoy my DS as much as possible before having to split my time between two kids, but I do want to get the baby years over with asap lol...children are such an absolute blessing so I'd be lucky to have another anytime it happens right?

Thanks again, you all are great!!



 
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Old Feb 23rd, 2011, 15:14 PM   8
Welsh_mum2be
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My parents look after DD for 3 days a week when im at work, so I am trying to work it so they dont have to have 2 all day! Our DD is 2 in Sept, If everything is ok with me we will strt TTC in May / June, so if I concieve within 2 months (prob take longer but wishful thinking ) she will be about 3 when baby is born, I have 9 months maternity leave so hopefully DD will be at nursery half a day then? LOL its all very stressful. My best friend had her 2nd son when her 1st son was just 18 months (planned) and she has admitted that she wouldnt do it again, but everyone is different and all children are different!



 
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Old Feb 23rd, 2011, 15:16 PM   9
i want it all
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My dd is 14 months, and I had the opposite newborn stages to you! LO slept from 10pm - 6 from just 6 weeks old, and then 8pm - 8am at about 10 weeks, other than reflux she was a really good and happy baby. So my worry is the next one will be a horror! Or I guess that's what people keep telling me and I believe them! I am waiting until April at the earliest, so the difference would be 2 yrs & 1 month, but I think it's gonna be nearer to July, so nearer to 2 & a half when no 2 arrives.

I have no experience in it, but I am guessing that dd will be out of nappies, able to communicate well, and may be old enough to 'help' so she doesn't feel too left out. It must be really hard for LOs to understand what is going on when a sibling arrives



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Old Feb 24th, 2011, 02:18 AM   10
OmiOmen
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My two sisters did not get along as well with each other and had a 3 year age gap, me and my oldest sister got along the best and that is a 10 year gap. DH and his sister have a 4 year gap and only get along now so I am not sure that the gap matters in those terms as much as personalities of the children.

We are going for about a 3 year gap simply because we are waiting until I have my degree. That said I would just go for it now if I was a stay at home mum.

I think it is just a personal choice more than anything.



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