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Old Feb 27th, 2011, 11:46 AM   1
Aprilshowers
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Doing the deed - Help


All my life I've never been a person who has really loved sex. I'm abnormal I think. It's not that I don't love my OH or the closeness it's just the actual penetration itself that I'm not keen on. TMI
Anyway I just can't seem to relax and it always hurts a little and today we tried to do the business and I shut down altogether, got all tight and practically had a panic attack. I know it's all in my head but I can't seem to help it. Anyway most of you will probably think I'm stupid but I'm worried about TTC because I know we will have to DTD a good few times. Has anyone ever had this problem? Do you think I should mention it to my therapist even though it's a bit embarrassing.



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Old Feb 27th, 2011, 12:33 PM   2
odd_socks
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didnt want to read and run, i personally dont get that problem, but i know afew women that do. Not being personal but i dont know if u have tried this but sometimes u might need to use some lube to help, so it isnt so painful? Probably whats happened is its hurt a little once (maybe wasnt lubricated enough) and now the fear of it hurting again means u cant relax. Maybe trying alot of foreplay before hand or a massage to get you nice and relaxed if that dont work prehaps visit ur nurse or doctor for some advice x



 
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Old Feb 27th, 2011, 12:40 PM   3
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Thanks! We have both some lube so I will try that out and you're right about being not able to relax because it has hurt in the past. I really just need to chill out about the whole thing and stop being such a wuss



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Old Feb 27th, 2011, 12:42 PM   4
odd_socks
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your welcome, i hope it helps chick



 
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Old Feb 27th, 2011, 13:11 PM   5
MissKM
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odd_socks has a good point here i think huni. with my OH it hurts every now and again which can sometimes put me on edge at the beginning, but my OH is really good with foreplay, lots of massage, kissing and just messing around for sex will probably help loads.

is there anything else which is making you unable to relax or is it just that it hurts a bit? xx



 
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Old Feb 27th, 2011, 13:31 PM   6
Aprilshowers
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MissKM View Post
odd_socks has a good point here i think huni. with my OH it hurts every now and again which can sometimes put me on edge at the beginning, but my OH is really good with foreplay, lots of massage, kissing and just messing around for sex will probably help loads.

is there anything else which is making you unable to relax or is it just that it hurts a bit? xx
Sometimes just the whole idea of the penetration freaks me out. That makes me a freak though
We don't get disturbed and we have a nice bed and bedroom etc so it's not that. I think my problem is that I tend to rush things because it hurts and we don't prepare enough. I must try to let things just play out instead of getting all flustered.



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Old Feb 27th, 2011, 13:37 PM   7
MissKM
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it doesnt make u a freak at all....everyone is different, for example, i have a friend who only likes oral sex and hardly gets any pleasure from intercourse.

as much as i enjoy sex...i deff dont enjoy it when it hurts, but i think this can come from rushing things especially if you have a 'large' OH

just take your time with it, its meant to be special not rushed...relax as much as possible xx



 
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Old Feb 27th, 2011, 13:43 PM   8
Aprilshowers
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MissKM View Post
it doesnt make u a freak at all....everyone is different, for example, i have a friend who only likes oral sex and hardly gets any pleasure from intercourse.

as much as i enjoy sex...i deff dont enjoy it when it hurts, but i think this can come from rushing things especially if you have a 'large' OH

just take your time with it, its meant to be special not rushed...relax as much as possible xx
Thanks I will take your advice and maybe try planning it a bit more so that it's not always so rushed and spur of the moment. My OH is quite big in my opinion My boyfriend before him was smaller alright but you know what they say it's not how deep you fish it's how you wiggle your worm.



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Old Feb 27th, 2011, 13:46 PM   9
MissKM
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Originally Posted by Aprilshowers View Post
it's not how deep you fish it's how you wiggle your worm.
i love that!!! such a good saying xx



 
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Old Feb 27th, 2011, 13:57 PM   10
Button#
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Firstly you're not a freak. I have had this problem before and it was a case as Odd_Socks said of it hurt once or twice and then I was scared of it hurting again. I am over it now though. We also tried lube which made a huge difference in getting me to relax again and now we don't need it. Also have regular sessions where you do everything but actual penetration. This also helps you relax. Good luck and it will definitely get much better.



 
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