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Old Feb 28th, 2011, 05:32 AM   1
Webbykinskt
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I need advice from you lovely ladies...


Hello ladies,

I'm in the TWW again I was sick a lot last week (as in within 20 mins of taking my pill), and I stupidly forgot I might not be covered. I'm such a ditz sometimes. We haven't DTD as much as usual, but it only takes the one time... I'm blaming the long days at work and just general tiredness/ill/stress I've had.

I'm just going to tell him tonight that if I do fall pregnant because of last week, then it's my own fault and I take full responsibility for my actions. But also, I told him before that if he really doesn't want children then he should put something on the end of it. I don't make him not use them, he just prefers not to. I'm also going to mention that he doesn't have to stick around, but I'm hoping he's the kind of guy that will say he doesn't want children but as soon as they are here, he'll love them.

Any advice? xx



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Old Feb 28th, 2011, 05:48 AM   2
Star7890
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My OH doesn't wear condoms either unless I actually force him to... in January I came off the pill and told him he could take charge of our contraception from now on until we start trying for our LO (Which we both want badly)

So needless to say, he doesn't take much charge at all and we are ntnp on/off at the minute because we are both too tempted to forget the condom!

Im sure that if you did fall pregnant he would handle it fine and get used to the idea, but I know you have uni to think about (like me)

I came to the conclusion that if it did happen, then thats my fate decided for me and there are lots of options that can work around that regarding uni and everything.
When are you actually ttc? (if nothing comes of this tww) xx



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Old Feb 28th, 2011, 06:00 AM   3
Webbykinskt
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I feel the same. If it happens, it was meant to be. I'm not sure whether Uni could help me but there are other things I could do (such as support work) where I can still care while getting myself back to do the degree (as i'm the one but last cohort for the diploma).

We haven't set a date as he's still not decided when we can. I had been suggesting after I have finished my course, but he said that was still too early for him and that he doesn't know when/if he'll change his mind.

As much as I'm aching to be pregnant, I'll feel terrible if he doesn't love/want the baby when it comes. I just think he's going to accuse me of doing it on purpose... again. I think he likes to place blame on me because I want it deep down.

Am I right about the condoms though? If he knows I can be a bit naff with taking my pill, he should do something about it?

xx



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Old Feb 28th, 2011, 06:25 AM   4
Star7890
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He cant blame you of doing it on purpose if he isn't prepared to use a condom. You should tell him that if he don't want to be in this situation then he can start taking control over contraception. No condom= potential pregnancy... its simple!

Also, relationships are about compromise, and if he is not willing to compromise then where is it going to leave you in a few years time? Still pining for a LO? I really hope you work things out, maybe hes a bit scared/wary of becoming a dad? xx



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Old Feb 28th, 2011, 06:38 AM   5
Webbykinskt
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Thanks hun. It's nice to know that you understand me. He is very reserved with my cousins and kids in general but that could be because he's the youngest and didn't have any kids around him. I know it's totally different with your own though.

He seems to think I'll get over wanting kids but I've wanted them since I was 16 and with my first proper b/f when we had a scare and I started thinking hmm I'm looking forward to that but not desperate. I got to this point about a month before I joined BnB (2008) so if I was going to do this on purpose, what stopped me before? I just need to get through to him... or it's the end for us.

My mum would totally support me if I do get pregnant and his mum said she would, but wants us to finish our education (which we still could). So I'm not worried in that sense, just how he would be.

Any ideas how I can start the convo without making it a fight? xx



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Old Feb 28th, 2011, 07:03 AM   6
Star7890
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Have you got any friends with young babies? I know that when my best friend had her little one 11 weeks ago it really stepped up the broody stakes for him in a way I couldn't have imagined! He got a little obsessed with the baby making!
Or another way I brought it up was we used to watch baby programmes together like one born every minute and teen mom and get all excited and talk about all the problems and how different our lives would be to those ones.. just disscussing really.. thats how he got used to it.
Ive been broody since I was literally 12 years old so almost 9 years is a long time to wait!!!

xx So shove a baby program on!!



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Old Feb 28th, 2011, 07:06 AM   7
Star7890
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I know how you feel about the uni thing... I know that If I did get pregnant now I would have the drive and ambition to finish my degree after having the baby (within the next couple of years) but my mum and other people say that I wouldn't go back...
I took this on board and have decided to just try and get the majority of my last year out of the way before trying properly so the baby would be due AFTER my course has finished xx Maybe ask him about doing this? How long have u got left on your course?



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Old Feb 28th, 2011, 07:08 AM   8
Webbykinskt
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I watch them, but he just does something else or goes out of the room... I did have a friend with a baby (but she's immature and fell out with me) and he said he was really uncomfortable with him and he was only in the room with him.

I try bringing it up, like talking about the future, but he just says I don't know or shrugs his shoulders. It's very odd. I'm starting to think that we're not so right for each other as he's not even on the same page as me.

I've got two and a half years left now. Still quite a way.
xx



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Old Feb 28th, 2011, 07:15 AM   9
Star7890
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Why not keep it cool for a couple of months.. maybe have a chat with him tonight and ask him to think about things for a couple of months and then give you some kind of date or promise that it will happen someday.
You really need to tell him that this is very important to you and Im sure he would have some kind of compromise in him... does he not want to see you happy?! Thats what I would do. How old is he? That might be a factor.. My OH is two years older than me at 22 so he is naturally starting to want a family anyway xx

I really hope things work out.. and I'm always here if you want to pm me!!



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Old Feb 28th, 2011, 12:23 PM   10
Aprilshowers
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He has to take responsibilty too and if he doesn't wear a condom then there is always a chance that you could get pregnant. Make that clear to him.



 
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