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Old Mar 3rd, 2011, 09:15 AM   1
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What a dilemma!

So I've been on maternity leave since I had my little girl in July and I'm due to return to my previous job next month.
Before that job I used to work for the police (not an officer), and I always wanted to join up.
I went through the whole application process and got through but recruitment was put on hold.
Now I just received a letter this morning saying that they're recruiting officers from their previous list of successful applicants and I'm one of them. I will need to retake the fitness test but I'm confident I'll pass that again.

They would want me to start my training at the police hq (about 30 miles away) in August.

Oh my god, I am so torn. I'd kind of forgotten about joining up since having Summer and figured if I ever did join up then it'd be once I've had my kids and they're settled and I have a bit of 'my' time back. I'm nit sure if I could fully commit to it now, plus I was only due to go back to my job part time whereas the training is full time (although I've been offered part time job after) but the job after that would obviously be shifts.
I am so so confused about what I should do. We were going to ttc number 2 in may and the fact we want a close age gap hasn't changed.

I know nobody can make my decision for me and i need to have a big talk with my husband about what I'm going to do. He was never that keen on my joining up in the first place (doesn't think it's a job for a petite woman, let alone a mum - very old fashioned in that sense).
I have been told if I don't take up this time around my details will still be kept but I won't be offered the chance to join up again until they next open up publically for recruitment (at least 2 years away). Part of me thinks that will actually be better as hopefully we'll have had our second baby by then and things might be more settled.

I almost wish i hadn't got the letter today! Everything was simple before that, return to work next month, ttc in may and that was that!

Anyone got any advice? I've given out advice before on how not to let careers etc get in the way of ttc and your life etc as your career can be done at any stage of your life, but now it's me in this situation it's so much harder!

Sorry for rambling on!


Old Mar 3rd, 2011, 09:44 AM   2
Mum (Mom)
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Hi Mummytosummer! What a dilemma but I think you've already made up your mind. I think you should go ahead and have your second child as planned, hopefully in a few years you'll get the chance to go for it if you decide you still want it. Britain is always going to need police officers but you're not always going to be able to start a family!

Policing is a hard job, the shifts are a nightmare and while they try and be flexible around childcare they will cause problems (particularly in your 2 probationery years when you'll be expected to do all the worse beat shifts!). In saying that policing has many rewards - not least the very decent wage and career progression/opportunities but also the fact you can retire on a full pension at 55!

Let us know what you decide!

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Old Mar 3rd, 2011, 09:47 AM   3
Mum (Mom)
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I'm sorry you are going through this problem. I don't know what I would do in your situation. Other than wanting a close age gap is there any other reason you can't really wait on having another LO (besides broodiness). And another I was wondering is how will it effect your marriage to become an officer. Your OH wasn't keen on the idea you said. If you wait and have another LO he will probably be even less into the idea when the chance comes around again. If you want to have a LO after training how long would you need to wait. But on the downside would you even feel comfortable when it really comes down to you putting your life in a risk situation that could mean never seeing your children again.

I'm sorry there aren't any answers in there, just questions. I'm sure what ever you decided will turn out okay in the end.

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Old Mar 3rd, 2011, 10:13 AM   4
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Oh gosh. Really goes to show how life throws us some unexpected curve balls. I would probably go ahead with my previous plans and hope that they get back to me in two years again. Maybe make a list of all the reasons why now would be a good or bad time to join and see what the pros and cons are. Sorry I can't give any more helpful advice on this.

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Old Mar 3rd, 2011, 12:20 PM   5
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Hey everyone, thank you for all your comments. It really is helpful to hear others' opinions on it.

I spoke to my hubby earlier and told him I'd had the letter and his reaction was as I'd expected really. He wasn't exactly thrilled but said we'd talk later. To be honest the more I think about it and question it the more it has me wondering if it's right for me.

Blaire, I think you're probably right, i know the country will always want officers but I won't get any younger! If I was to get a call up in a few years I could always see how my situation is then. But as you said the shifts will be a killer and I'm not sure I want to go down that route now I've got a baby. I know it could be so rewarding too but at what cost!

Thaynes, I guess a close age gap is one of the main reasons we want to ttc sooner rather than later, but another is my age. I'll be 29 in July and I didnt really want to be having kids well into my 30's. If I wait till after the initial training period and then 2 year probationary period, bearing in mind I wouldn't even be starting til august, I'd be looking at nearly 3 years before we could start ttc.

Aprilshowers, I think I may do that and make a list of the pros and cons of doing it now or waiting and maybe not doing it at all!

Well my hubby has just got in so I guess I'll have the talk with him now and hopefully come to a decision!

Thank you again though!


Old Mar 3rd, 2011, 12:50 PM   6
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Well, not sure I'll say much more than the other ladies have said...

Congrats on the letter! I know it's a hard decision to make, but to try and look at from the positive...its giving you two great options, which is why it's hard to make the decision.

No one can really tell you what's the right decision for you and your family, but I guess from my situation, I'm kinda putting my 'dream job' on hold for the dream of the family (and we don't even have a TTC date yet). I've done the training aspect for what I want to do, but putting off making the leap as it'd be far better (more sensible) to do it the other way round for my situation. Although I'm constantly saying to OH that if it's going to be ages, I may as well go and do a job I love rather than one I hate- he still won't commit though. For me it'd be my first child...and I'm also that little bit older than you. So if I had the TTC date, I personally would want to stick to that. As you say, you can always revisit the police training in a few years time. You know you've got what it takes as you've already got through this far. A friend of my mum's went into the force a few years ago when she was almost 40, so you've nothing to worry about from that perspective. And you can think more about whether it is something you want to do when you've 2 kids... You'd never be able to turn the clock back and have the baby at the stage of your life you want to have #2...

Hope my ramblings make sense...


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