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Old Mar 5th, 2011, 00:46 AM   1
Trying to conceive (TTC)
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already preparing for drama

My husband and I will start letting nature take its course in the next couple months, but I am already preparing myself for the drama with my side of the family and trying to figure out how to handle it.

My husband and I will be moving to Austin from our current residence in Las Vegas in August so he can start attending community college/university, and by then we think we'll be preggers. (Considering both of us were conceived 'that one time' our respective parents weren't using protection. Seriously.) I'm 24, and he'll be 23 in July. I will have a job that can support us when we move there (yaay work from home job and if that falls through, a transfer from my current job to an Austin location) and my husband has a great resume.

His side of the family would be cool if we let them know that getting pregnant wasn't an accident. Might think we're a little young, but would be very accepting. My mother, however, I really think she would be very judgmental of our decision. To the point I would almost rather not deal with the drama and just tell her it was a happy accident since my husband's parents and my mother don't talk. I had enough nights of crying myself to sleep at night from her being her judgmental self about the wedding. I just don't know what to do about it. This would be her first grandchild, since my brother who's 30 is just now getting married, but I don't know.

Thanks so much for any kind of outside perspective or advice you can give.

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Old Mar 5th, 2011, 04:01 AM   2
Mum (Mom)
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My completely planned son is believed to be a happy accident by many, it was easier than explaining to people why this was the right time for us even though it wouldn't have been the right time for many others.

We were planning our wedding when we started trying, so I was four months pregnant when I got married. I didn't want to explain to people why we started trying before the wedding so we let them believe it was a surprise.

It is really no ones business but yours and your husbands how your child was conceived, as long as you have the basics (somewhere to live and an income) go for it!

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Old Mar 5th, 2011, 04:07 AM   3
Waiting To Try (WTT)
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Our LO (when we eventually start TTC) will also be a happy accident to everyone. a few of my close friends know i want children but dont know that we are even considering trying.

as for my family i think they will be happy about it if its an accident but i think my mum will be a little disappointed if i plan it cause of my age. she thinks im still young and have my whole life to live etc. xx

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Old Mar 6th, 2011, 12:42 PM   4
Waiting To Try (WTT)
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would tell everyone it was a happy accident too, my parents know i want to TTC though and lucky for me they are really pleased about it

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Old Mar 6th, 2011, 13:33 PM   5
Pregnant (Expecting)
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Well you can tell your mum about my situation if you want and then she'll love you haha I'm 20, 21 in September my OH is 20 in August. We are also getting married in August and TTC in August My mum knows we are WTT and is thrilled lol and has already started building a book collection, dad's fine with it. My OH mum has said as long as we are married The only person who it will end up being a happy accident for is his dad (his parents are seperated) as he thinks we are too young to get married but is happy for us, so i don't want to push it by saying we are TTC x

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Old Mar 7th, 2011, 05:03 AM   6
Mum (Mom)
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Ive already thought about what to say to people, we will be 21 and 23 at the time so we are going to say that we WERE planning a baby BUT it happened a lot sooner than we had planned.
That shows that although the pregnancy wasn't 'completly planned' (which it will be) we were still thinking about he realities of bringing a baby into the world. If you know what I mean?

My OHs family know how much we want a little one though... his mum and sister ask me every visit when I can give them a little grandson and niece or nephew!


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Old Mar 7th, 2011, 08:15 AM   7
Mum (Mom)
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I just told people we planned a baby, I was 19. At the end of the day it's YOUR life and if you are ready for a baby stuff everyone else! xxx

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Old Mar 7th, 2011, 10:08 AM   8
Pregnant (Expecting)
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I am so sorry that your having a hard time with family. It's sad when troubles arise like this because they're supposed to be the ones that always support you, no matter what. I am having a similar problem with my dh's side of the family. I am 20 (21 in July) and my dh is turning 25 this month. We got married when I was 18, so his family has been pretty on guard since we got married. Any time that we mention having kids his mum is the first to say we are "too young & need to wait". It absolutely kills me! I am very lucky though to have my mum because as soon as we were married my mum was hoping we'd have a ! She got pregnant with my eldest brother when she was 17, had him when she was 18, so she is very understanding and wants us to have a when we want.

It's so hard to have a divided family.

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