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Old Mar 12th, 2011, 02:30 AM   1
OmiOmen
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The positives of WTT/TTC #1...


I do not think there is any point pretending it is the same to WTT or TTC your first as it is your second or more. I am sure a few will disagree but I know I think it is much harder on those who do not already have a child as it is full of uncertainty, longing and stress. I remember after my 2 MMC's I hated even seeing people with babies. So although I know non of you would ever say it it must be hard at times for those WTT for #1 to be sharing the forum with those of us who have kids and you may think we should just feel lucky for having one or more already (and I assure you we do). Anyway, I thought it would be nice to share some positives of WTT/TTC your first that we will not go though (and those with children already feel free to add to my list). So I point out that non of this is complaining and it is all worth it but you should enjoy it.

Planning on what you want to buy: This seems like we can all do it but those of us with babies already will probably save a lot of things so will have less to look at buying. More importantly even if we are starting again it is not the same. You will find it makes you more broody but you can experience more fun from it. You can look at beautiful items and get excited but once you have had a baby you know what does and does not make a good item and what you really need which sounds good but really takes the fun out of it.
My example: here is that I am keeping my pushchair that I love but we are on our third because the first two were not good. I loved looking around for my bouncer and it was so cute, had lots of different types of vibrate functions and sounds. But the reality was that he grew out of it fast and it was not wipe clean and when they are in-between nappy size's and pooping a lot of times a day it does not work. I ended up buying the same bouncer a friend had which is great, it is a birth to toddler, wipe clean and although only had vibrate I found out they ere not needed but I hated the look of it when looking when I was pregnant. I now have a better idea what the buy next time and what to save but there is not excitement in baby shopping now.

Go out: Clearly you will go out less when you have a baby so enjoy it. You will not get to go to the cinema for a few years and when you do it will be to see a kids movie. Going out for a nice meal will not work and although you can go to a family friendly place your food may go cold while you feed your LO. So you may as well take advantage while you can.
My example: I started going to the family friendly pub again only a few days after DS was born but you have to stop to feed them so your food may go cold and there is the risk of a tantrum. Now my son is getting around he just will not stay still for long enough and it is tough to entertain him.

Walk along your floor: This sounds crazy but just walk across your living room and enjoy it. The day will come that it is so full of toys that you will constantly be tripping over them. Also you will get to the point that you are running across it to chase your toddler to stop them being naughty.
My example: Before I had DS I thought it was a case of just tidying up after them but it is not so simple. For every toy I put away he gets out two, not to play with but just to be in the middle of the floor. Then there is how often I run to stop him dipping his hands in the dog bowl.

Enjoy your meaning of time: Time is just time, right? Yes it is but your personal concept of time will change. Finding time to shower or eat can be hard at times and going to bed and waking up take on a whole new meaning.
My example: I used to think getting up between 5am-6am was early and only ok if you was off on a holiday but now I had to do it everyday and as soon as DS wants to be up I have to get up right away. Not only that but you have to be ready to just get on with things (no sitting down for a tea or coffee) and sing/dance/play while you are doing it.

Have a good bath or shower: You will just not have the time to relax like that.
My example: DH looks after DS while I shower but it is always rushed. It would be so nice to relax once in a while.

I know this will not stop the broodiness but hopefully you can enjoy them while you can. Also the excitement with number one is a huge thing, I wish it could be experienced in the same way the second time around but I know it will not be quite the same (so you have something for us WTT for #2+ to be jealous of).



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Old Mar 12th, 2011, 02:53 AM   2
Heidi
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Great list!!

I loved going out buying all the new stuff for my DD her bouncer/jumperoo etc is all stashed away in the loft for baby #2 so will definitely be cheaper next time
Have to say though i love going out to pubs/restaurants with my LO now she's older and can feed herself, she is BLW so will sit and eat her food for ages long after we are done the only reason our food ends up going cold is because of people giving her attention and talking to us But i do remember those times of when they are new born and you have to take turns to eat!

I do miss a quite bath/shower



 
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Old Mar 12th, 2011, 03:19 AM   3
OmiOmen
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DS tends to mush food into things or climb out of the high chair, he can get out of anything and never sits still.



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Old Mar 12th, 2011, 03:25 AM   4
MummytoSummer
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Yep, great list and totally agree.

As excited as I am to be wtt for number 2, it isn't quite the same! We went totally overboard buying everything baby related, getting things simply because they looked cute.

We chose the cutest nursery furniture and got a change table to match. Everyone of my friends that already had kids told us not to get it, it would be a waste of money etc, but we got it cos it matched and it looked cute. In reality we used it only a handful of times when our dd was tiny, after we'd bathed her we'd take her into her room lay her on the change table and change and dress her etc. It was so impractical. Then I just started changing her wherever I was (on the sofa, on our bed, on the lounge floor), and now she's crawling etc it would be dangerous to even consider using it. It's the one thing that was also expensive (180) that I wish we hadn't got!

Although we have saved loads from having her for our next, I kinda wish we hadn't and I couldgo out and start all over again! It's so exciting and going overboard is all part of the fun.

I'm definitley a little bit jealous of those of you wtt your first, it's such a special time!

X



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Old Mar 12th, 2011, 20:02 PM   5
Parker_Podge
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Thank you ladies so much! I can only speak for myself of course, but I do find it quite difficult at times to deal with wtt, as when the time comes, it will be our first.
I have been guilty of thinking that those with LO's already at least have their 's to help them pass the time Sorry! But I do realize that it doesn't make it any easier, as waiting for such a sweet gift from God is never easy. I get into the heat of the moment & things just creep into my brain!?

I really appreciate this advice & really look forward to anymore that you are willing to give us future mums to #1!



 
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Old Mar 13th, 2011, 01:12 AM   6
OmiOmen
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Parker_Podge View Post
I have been guilty of thinking that those with LO's already at least have their 's to help them pass the time Sorry! But I do realize that it doesn't make it any easier, as waiting for such a sweet gift from God is never easy. I get into the heat of the moment & things just creep into my brain!?
To be honest I think it does make it easier. I know if I had secondary infertility I would feel thankful for DS. It is so much harder the first time round but you do get the best experience from it.



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Old Mar 13th, 2011, 01:51 AM   7
Coconut bird
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That's a great list!



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Old Mar 13th, 2011, 03:28 AM   8
BlaireUK
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Aww thanks OmiOmen! What a lovely post and your list is great. I don't think i've ever felt jealous of you girls on here waiting for your second, in fact it had crossed my mind that the wait may be harder for you all because you know first hand what your missing!

Personally I really can't wait to experience the excitement and anticipation with our first and I think embracing it is part of the fun.



 
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