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Old Mar 15th, 2011, 17:18 PM   1
Squarepants
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This is never going to happen... Why do I bother


Sorry ladies this is a rant!

So my partner and I have been together for 5 years this October and getting married in November. We have our own house two very reliable cars. I work for my mum n dad in a family business and my partner works full time aswell.

So I have bought up the TTC talk and he completely brushes it off. The excuses range from when out jobs are stable and we know what is going on.... We have to many bills.... Etc etc. I can't take it anymore I want a TTC date. I saw the doctor yesterday who has also diagnosed me with PCOS. Which has just topped this situation off great!!

I don't know how to tackle this I've already tried the whole sit down talk rationally be grown up about it. And bow I'm worried I will have fertility issues with the PCOS. U always hear about ppl not being ableto
Conceive but he just doesn't care.....

Sorry guys needed to get that off my chest



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Old Mar 15th, 2011, 17:23 PM   2
MissKM
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aww hun im not sure i can say much which will be of help...i hope you can get through to your OH though.

i dont know much about PCOS tbh, but does your OH know your worries about fertility?

when i didnt get through to my OH the grown up way...i stamped my feet a little and then we had a talk and it seemed to help xx



 
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Old Mar 15th, 2011, 17:27 PM   3
Squarepants
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I wanted to try talk to him. But it's tempting to throw a bit of a hissy fit! I know I shouldn't but I just want him to listen. He has just said that we don't know I could have fertility issues. And yes he is right but god he is pigheaded. I might back off for a while but that prob won't get me anywhere. Grrr men I tell ya.



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Old Mar 15th, 2011, 17:32 PM   4
MissKM
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i really did have to have a proper winge before my OH would listen to how i felt (that makes me sound so spoilt) but it was honestly just so i could get him to actually listen....when i talk to my OH i can literally see it going in one ear and straight out the other!! x



 
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Old Mar 15th, 2011, 17:33 PM   5
starbucker
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Having children is a big step in a relationship, and in your life. If I were you I'd definitely figure out why he's stalling on the topic before I married him.

If he's not interested in having children, you will need to make a choice.

Personally, I'd be super disappointed and maybe even a little offended if my OH wouldn't even TALK to me about TTC.

You might have to have a serious talk with him, sit him down and say, "look this is important to me..."



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Old Mar 15th, 2011, 17:43 PM   6
immimx
 
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a trick i use when people arent listening is to right them a letter. then they can read it in thier own time and really take it all in. plus you canget out everything you want to say without being interrupted.
x



 
Old Mar 15th, 2011, 17:45 PM   7
Squarepants
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Thanks guys sorry for the rant but needed to get it out. Love this website u guys are amazing



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Old Mar 15th, 2011, 20:06 PM   8
t84
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Hey! I think Starbucker and Immimx have great points.. It's definitely important to make sure the 2 of you are on the same page BEFORE you get married, so that once you get married and address both of your concerns you will be on the same page which will save you a TON of time, disagreements, and frustrations.. Trust me I'm married and having the "when" conversation now which is soooo draining and upsetting. I wish I would've thought about setting a tentative timeline and expressed both of our expectations for starting a family before getting married. Sorry such a wordy response, but since I'm going through this right now I want to share my opinion with you. Best of luck!! Hopefully he'll come around soon.



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Old Mar 15th, 2011, 22:00 PM   9
Squarepants
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Thanks t84.

I think i have started world war 3 with us at the moment. I completely just went spoilt brat on him. Texted him to follow on from the conversation last night and it just got worse.....

We are now down to, im having another ultrasound for my PCOS tomorrow and i have barred him from coming and told him that no other wedding plans will go ahead until we are on the same page..

All he is saying is not yet and its so frustrating, im not saying i want a baby now i just mean in the future.... and not 5 years away.

i think im now sorta over reacting but i want my point to get accross to....



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Old Mar 15th, 2011, 22:09 PM   10
Rockbottom
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I wish you the best Square.

Quick question - do you know why your doc diagnosed you with PCOS? Did you go to your doc with certain symptoms? I have heard and read a lot about women who have been misdiagnosed with it, often because of irregular periods and often because of hormonal changes after bc. Sometimes doctors get a little overzealous, and PCOS is one of those conditions that is often diagnosed because of a combination of factors, not a defining one (like cancer or HIV, for example).

I'm not aware of your complete situation so I don't want to speculate. Just wanted to put that out there in case it might be helpful.

I hope everything works out for you.



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