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Old Mar 17th, 2011, 19:51 PM   1
Mum (Mom)
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Havant, Hampshire
Posts: 3,399

Why can't I ever stick to what I decide!?!

Just having a ramble really, but if you fancy giving me some advice i'll take it!

Sorry it is long, but pleas have a read. I havent really got anyone in RL to talk to about this, as I think they will all think I'm mad for wanting another so soon.

Rigth well, we were intitally going to start TTC after our wedding this year (6th September) but after thinking about it, we decided to wait an extra year from this date so that we can start saving up for a deposit on a house. We were going to sell my car and try and be really strict with our money, and after about 4-5 years we would have enough for a decent deposit.

But now we have deicded that we are not going to sell the car as it takes away an awful lot of mine/our independance. My mum currently takes me shopping every week and picks me up atleast twice a week to go over to hers. This makes me feel awful, as I was always independant until I had my miscarriage and so left uni, and then got pregnant with LO.

So I am now thinking if we are putting our car back on the road (my insurance will be around 1,500) I am thinking TTC from the 6th September this year wouldnt make much difference. We brought all clothes in newborn and 0-3 in unisex, as well as bouncer/play nest/pushchair/crib so that when we have more children we dont have to buy it all over again. So having another baby I dont think would cost us alot more each month, it will just be a case of formula (Unless BF works the next time) and nappies. I personally think the hardest part will come with OH being away for long amounts of time, and having two children under two. but having the car will help, as I would'nt feel so isolated.

With reguards to the deposit for a house, I was thinking we would still save up money each month, but it would be less then originally planned (Would have been less with putting the car back on the road anyway) and take longer, but I honestly think it would be better to be happy in the years it takes to save up for a deposit, then be miserable because I dont feel independant and feel isolated.

What do you think? I know it's up to both my OH and me, but I have yet to talk to him about this, as all I think about ti babies 24/7 despite having an 11 week old. Both me and OH want children fairly close in age, and we would like between 3-4 so fingers crossed my baby making days wouldnt be over by the time I'm 22-23.

Also Oh is due to go back to work for 4 months about 3 weeks after we marry, so there is no guarente that I would get pregnant before he goes, so meaning we'd have to wait 4 months to try again. But then we will only get 2 and a 1/2 months to try before he leaves for work again. So we really havent got many chances in the year between getting married and our current TTC date.

It also doesnt help I have a name for a little girl picked out, and all I think about is having a baby to give the name to, unless we have a boy (which I really wouldnt mind) then we'd have a problem.

Any advise??


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Old Mar 18th, 2011, 04:04 AM   2
Trying to conceive (TTC)
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Teesside, UK
Posts: 244

I've been having a similar debate car wise recently, and ultimately decided that the car is too important to lose. I live in a small village with a rubbish bus service so without a car I'd be practically bound to where I live, not to mention it makes me more employable, not that it's helping with my applications, lol. I think it's important for you to have your independence, especially with your LO.

I'm afraid I don't really have any advice. OH and I were going to take the more 'sensible' route and he's talked me into coming off BCP.

Talk to your OH and see what the two of you decide together.

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