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Old Mar 19th, 2011, 21:29 PM   1
Ready2BMommie
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why is THIS such a hard decision??


Hello Ladies. I just really need to vent and I know you all will understand where I am coming from. My husband and I are between WTC and TTC. We are WTC b/c it's what our families think is best and b/c of what other ppl think. We are TTC b/c of our hearts. We have been dating since high school (6 years) and recently married in July of last year. We are pretty young, 23 (me) and 22 (him). He has a wonderful job that supports he and I (and could support a baby). I am currently in graduate school and will graduate in December with my Master's degree. So, we are pretty far along compared to others our age. We are ready to start a family, but we know that our family will think that it is too soon. All we hear is, "why are you in a rush?... you are so young... you have the rest of your life, so live now.." We are so tired of hearing this. Now, I am being "asked" to wait until after I graduate, so that I can have a great paying job as well. I commute about an hour away to the University that I attend and I also am an instructor there. No one wants me driving that far while pregnant. I understand everyones concerns, but we want a baby so bad that our feelings override that. My plan was to get pregnant sometime this spring/summer, so that I will have the baby no more than 5-6 months after I graduate. I would spend the rest of that year with our child and towards the end of the year I would begin the job hunt. That still isn't good enough for my family though. UUUgggghhhhh. It is just so aggravating. I am still telling ppl that we are WTC, but I have gotten off my BCPs and are hoping that it "just happens". Help me Ladies!! Can anyone just give me any words of advice or encouragement or just plain support?... Thank you for taking the time to read.



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Old Mar 19th, 2011, 21:32 PM   2
OnErth&InHvn
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I would tell anyone who asks, that it is a personal decision between you and your DH and at this time, you dont want to discuss it.



 
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Old Mar 19th, 2011, 21:49 PM   3
Jjwhite
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Sounds like you are in a tough situation. You are going to have to tell your family that ultimately it is you and your husband's choice and you have given it a lot of thought. Nobody wants to get pregnant and then have that be a disappointment. Good luck!



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Old Mar 19th, 2011, 21:50 PM   4
Aelanu
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I saw the title and felt compelled to respond- ESPECIALLY after reading what you post.

I completely support you, girl. My OH and I aren't doing as well as you are, but we are still TTC....but we are following our hearts, too. His family tends to be cynical and very negative- especially when it comes to me (believe it or not, I think its a race thing- he and his family are black and I'm white...with freckles..) so we are keeping this a secret and we already planned to tell everyone it was an "accident" even though it isn't. He already has 1 child- a son who's six(and I really, REALLY want to give him a girl).

I would continue to keep this information to yourself (to save arguments, heartache, and loads of tears) and just keep doing what you want. (Btw- I'll be 23 in April and OH is 32) Remember: its your lives, not theirs...and you can do whatever you feel is right. Once you do get that and let them know- it won't even matter to them anymore: I'm sure the only thing they'll be concerned about is fawning over your little bundle of joy.

Lots of baby dust and luck to us both



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Old Mar 19th, 2011, 22:44 PM   5
Ready2BMommie
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Thanks You guys!

@OnErth&InHvn, you are right. We are trying to be okay with our decision, but family makes it to hard. My mother is the main one. She still thinks that we are children and like to dictate our lives. It's just so hard...

@Jjwhite, Yes, that is what I am afraid of. I would be devastated if we become pregnant and are all happy and excited then we tell our family and they are like... eh... whatever. That would totally kill our happiness.

@Aelanu, Thank you and good luck to you also. If we do get pregnant, we will probably just act like "oops, guess we didn't use back up correctly" lol. Geeez, who knows. I just feel like God and us are the only ones that really know when we are ready and he will bless us. That's the main reason that I got off of BCP. I feel like we were taking it out of his hands by using it. Or maybe I am just using that excuse to get off of them. haha.



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Old Mar 20th, 2011, 00:03 AM   6
Aelanu
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I'll be keeping myself updated on your progress its nice to know I'm not the only one who's having familial issues cloud their TTC happiness. I'm just gonna say what my Mom did when Keira (four) and Sebastian (three) came around, "Well...he pulled out..I don't know HOW it happened!" Yeah. Right. Okay Mom (btw- she'll be 43 tomorrow!).

Also, I never liked BCPs...I stopped taking them like three years ago. I only took them when I was younger because my period was irregular- but now its on time so much I could make my own year calender lol! Not to mention I'm not big on putting man-made medicines into my body if I can help it- I've got to be dying to use aspirin lmao

We can be TTC buddies if you want, Ready2BMommie!



 
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Old Mar 20th, 2011, 03:00 AM   7
Heidi
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You are a married couple, it's only natural for the next stage to be TTC, usually that's the next question after getting married 'when will you have a baby' of course everyone's circumstances are different but i would say go for it, do what feels right for you and your husband not anyone else!



 
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Old Mar 20th, 2011, 04:20 AM   8
Jox
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Personally id tell all of them to mind their own business!! what does it have to do with anyone else?? its not like youve only been together 5 minutes!!

Go for it!! x



 
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Old Mar 20th, 2011, 05:35 AM   9
MissKM
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hiya hun, i havent told any of my or my OH family we are even wtt, basically because i know their reaction will be similar to your families.

when im pregnant, that will be the first either of our families will know about it cause then they cant pass judgement or cloud my decisions. i know once i was pregnant they would be over the moon...but if they could give their opinions before i was pregnant they would tell me to wait cause im still quite young

if wtt/ttc is what you and your OH feel is right go for it...just keep it a secret until you actually conceive...then they will be too happy to care xx



 
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Old Mar 20th, 2011, 06:18 AM   10
jodylee05
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hi hunni

I really feel for you. Im in quite a simalar situation myself. Me and DH have been together 6 years. Im 23 he is 22. We married last august. But i am the main earner in our household. He is the one studying for his masters degree in engineering.

Regards to family not being too supportive, sweety, your family is your husband now and what matters is what you both feel is right for you! I am still in the frame of mind as to what will my mum think? and i forgot sometimes that i am a married women who makes he own choices in life.

I live my the ruling of my heart not my head. I know some people may not agree but i think life is too short, i could be killed tomorrow and then where would that fancy job and money be. But to bring another human being into the world is the most rewarding thing you could ever do in your life.

If you ever need a chat or to vent we are all here for you

hope this helps xx



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