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Old Mar 20th, 2011, 06:09 AM   1
bobbie88
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disagreement on wtt


me and my partner have been together for 5 years and we have a very loving relationship, we have 2 sons 3 years and 1 and a half but i have this overwhelming desire for a daughter as im such a girly girl. i love my sons to peices and wouldn't change them for the world but my desire to have a girl is never going to go away, i would like to start trying to concieve now my partner on the other hand wants to wait a couple of years, i get so angry that he cant see how bad i want this and also i feel selfish for trying to make him want something that he clearly doesn't right now, i feel very lonely not being able to talk to anyone about this i think about having another baby all day everyday and dream about it every night. feel like im going mad. Is there anyone going through the same thing and if so how do i stop obsessing about having another baby!?!?



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Old Mar 20th, 2011, 11:57 AM   2
odd_socks
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i think any woman would feel the same as u do right now, my mum had two boys and really really wanted a daughter, she said the same didnt feel complete, i guess she was lucky that the accident they had lead to a girl being born....i hope ur OH comes around to the idea of trying again, or at least give you a ttc date x



 
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Old Mar 20th, 2011, 14:40 PM   3
i want it all
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I know what you mean! I have 1 dd, and would love a son! I would love another daughter but can't imagine myself without a boy! We're also disagreeing with when is the right time. I want to TTC in the summer (June) so we have 8 months of TTC before we stop so we don't have a December baby (dd is Dec 24th so can't afford another one then!), but dh doesn't want to try until Jan, but if I have to wait til Jan, I think I'd not bother and wait until April/May. I also would like a 2 & a half yr gap between my children rather than over 3. We'll see who wins the war!! LOL!!



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Old Mar 21st, 2011, 01:14 AM   4
bartlettpear
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Quote:
Originally Posted by odd_socks View Post
i think any woman would feel the same as u do right now, my mum had two boys and really really wanted a daughter, she said the same didnt feel complete, i guess she was lucky that the accident they had lead to a girl being born....i hope ur OH comes around to the idea of trying again, or at least give you a ttc date x
It has really helped me by having a ttc date... a LOT!



 
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Old Mar 21st, 2011, 02:17 AM   5
bobbie88
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well feel alot better now, i felt like i was being selfish wanting another baby so bad right now but after talking to OH and listening to his concerns (financial) i now understand and he has agreed that we will start trying early next year so we've got a chance to save up and sort finances out. Its not too long to wait i suppose just have to keep busy all the time to take my mind off of it.



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Old Mar 21st, 2011, 11:33 AM   6
nikkie1977
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I'm sorta in the same boat as you although for me it'll be my first. My DH is open to us having a child and he knows it means everything to me to be able to one day. He's not as keen to be a daddy just yet but if you knew him you'd understand that it's more to do with the unknown and I guess the responsibility of it all and changing your life etc scares him a bit. It does me too but this is something I've wanted all my life. He will bring kids into conversation, like we'll talk about something we want to do in the future and have discussed about if or when we have kids etc so he's in the understanding that it is something we will get around to making happen.
He is the kind of person that would just prefer to let nature take it's course and providing we have lots of regular sex, it'll happen and to stop stressing. I've had and lost 2 pregnancies to previous partners years ago so I know it can happen for me. I'm not sure about DH. He said that he knows he was def fertile once, I didn't push the topic and I know he doesn't have any kids from his past so I'm assuming he got someone pregnant and they aborted as too young. Anyway, thats neither here or there. I've recently had a scan which has shown I have a cyst on my right ovary and am currently waiting the date of a re-scan in about 6 weeks time plus a check with a gyno at the hospital. Whilst I am happy to wait 6 months to a year for it to happen, I've always been concerned with the fact I'm 34 this june and time is ticking away. My DH is 31 this year so to him there is no rush.
I was made redundant from my job and I was out of work for a year and in that time I planned our wedding and we got married in June last year. I landed a really nice job a month later and life picked up again financially. However,long story short, I was treated really badly there and after months of stress and tears I talked with my DH and I left the job. I'm now working as a part time cleaner which is an ok little job and not as stressful, but I'm an office based administrator, or have been for years and years so it's ok for the short term.
DH does want kids but not right now as with our finances at the moment it's not practical. I agree too but is there ever a right time to have a baby! Now that the doctors are telling me I have cysts and secondary infertility it has become something every month that I am desperate to achieve. i know it's the wrong time right now but if I put it off another year and hope to have a full time job sorted again by then, I'm another year older and about to hit 35 then and I am scared stiff that the longer time goes on, the harder it is going to become so for me, charting and tracking etc is really important and I'm sure he knows the difference each month in me as I kinda dominate the sex life and instigate everything more so when I know I'm fertile. He's never refused so he knows we're always left open to chance... I just wish it would happen.

it's very hard when you both want something but one of you isn't so bothered either way and the other just lives and breaths thoughts of that longed for baby.



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Old Mar 21st, 2011, 22:36 PM   7
bartlettpear
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bobbie88 View Post
well feel alot better now, i felt like i was being selfish wanting another baby so bad right now but after talking to OH and listening to his concerns (financial) i now understand and he has agreed that we will start trying early next year so we've got a chance to save up and sort finances out. Its not too long to wait i suppose just have to keep busy all the time to take my mind off of it.
glad to hear that news! Its not that far away!!



 
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