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Old Mar 27th, 2011, 15:04 PM   1
LoveCakes
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Thinking of setting a date


Hello all. I'm a bit of a lurker, mostly because we don't have an official date yet. Basically the ball is in my court, hubby would have gotten me pregnant years ago if it was his choice lol

We got married last year, I started a new job a few months ago and want to give it a year before I ask for 6 months off! (with same employer though so mat leave is grand) If I'm completely honest I'd like to wait 2/3 years to get on a bit in my career, but I'm nearly 26 and want a few with a reasonable gap in between.

I know I still have plenty of time age wise but am currently on the pill because my periods we irregular (roughly every 2 months) and very heavy, so am a bit scared we'll find it hard.

I know if I say early next year and I do get pregnant I'll be exstatic, but also feel like if I knew everything would be ok I'd wait. Argh, feeling conflicted! I'm tempted to Jan 2012, but don't feel sure enough to say to hubby as would be cruel to change my mind later. I am feeling quite broody though!

Opinions? Just feel like I needed to write it down?



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Old Mar 27th, 2011, 15:20 PM   2
odd_socks
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i think that firstly have u told ur OH u are thinking about Jan 2012? and that ur worried he will be disappointed if u changed ur mind? maybe tell him u are thinking of a "rough ttc date" x



 
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Old Mar 27th, 2011, 16:53 PM   3
Beany2
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it's a big decision to make so i think it's completely normal to feel a bit conflicted. like odd_socks said maybe you could let hubby know that you've thought of a rough ttc date and explain to him how you feel. then when it gets closer to your rough date see how you feel and maybe discuss again?



 
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Old Mar 27th, 2011, 17:34 PM   4
MummytoSummer
 
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Hey, welcome to wtt.

I was in a very similar situation to you before we started ttc. After my husband and I had been together for 3 years he really wanted us to try but I wanted to be married. We got married after we'd been together 5 years and after the wedding he was desperate for us to start but for some reason I just didn't feel ready.
He was really gutted I'd changed my mind about trying after the wedding but I explained how it would be me and my body going through all the changes and me that would be at home with the baby so I had to be 100%.
Eventually when I was 27 (2 years after our wedding) I was ready and fell pregnant.

As happy as I'd have been to be pregnant at any time I'm glad I was able to hold out until I knew I was ready. I felt I'd done everything I wanted to, we'd had great holidays and just generally enjoyed ourselves.
Even my hubby now agrees I was right to make us wait, although he was desperate to start ttc number 2 months ago and my lo is only 9 months old!

I agree with the others, let him know you're thinking about early next year but you want to see how the next year goes. Maybe set yourself a date to review your own feelings about it say in 6 months time. You never know by then it might be you that's got baby fever. I think as kong as you make it clear that it's not a ttc date just an option then he won't be too disappointed. Maybe you could set him some kind of goal just to help keep his mind off it so much. Maybe give him a target amount of money to save for baby stuff or something. As long as you keep him in the loop as your feelings change whether it be heading more towards ttc or waiting I think that should be enough for him. I felt awful on honeymoon having to tell my husband I didn't want to start ttc then but once I explained why he totally understood.

Good luck hun!

X



 
Old Mar 29th, 2011, 11:27 AM   5
LoveCakes
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Thanks for the replies!

I think I'll have a talk with him and let him know more clearly how I feel. Tbh if it wasn't for work I'd be all go, I feel ready emotionally and recently have found myself watching kids in shops etc... (Ok that sounds creepy, but I mean thinking how cute they are!) It's just I've worked so hard to get where I am now and work in an entirely male environment so worried I won't get taken as seriously once I become a mummy, but I suppose if that's going to happen a few years won't make much difference lol

Will let you know when I cave. Theres a baby due in the family in a few months so seeing the tiny baby clothes may push me over the edge lol



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