Hi,

I hope this is the right subforum for this. I have a lot of questions that have little to do with each-other, but I don't want to be all over the place.
I'm extremely wordy, that'll never change, please bear with me Also I may come off as blunt or not having thought things through, but that is just because I'm trying to be less wordy...

I've been wanting children, or a child, for a while now. My major concern however, is my fertility.

Here's a bit of history that worries me fertility-wise.

In summer 2009, I had a miscarriage. I only realized that when my gynec. explained my false positive on a pregnancy test to me, which I did 3 months after that. She said it must have been leftover pregnancy hormones playing tricks on me. That pregnancy had been an accident and I didn't know about it until the miscarriage.

But the problem starts here. Please bear with me.

That miscarriage - I was denied medical attention for it, so it's merely an assumption: I should have had my period, but instead, I had very big (almost the size of a fried egg) lumps of flesh and little bleeding - was caused by poisoning. 2 weeks before, I'd taken 9.6 grams of Phenobarbital and 6 grams of Diazepam. Please don't judge me; that was then.
Doctors said those substances leave the body without causing any long-term harm other than the acute symptoms. But doctors have disappointed me before and after, so I'm sceptical.

Also, from age 11 to 21, I was very detached from life and didn't take care of myself at all and carried an untreated yeast infection around down there, until I tackled and cured it at age 21. But I did read that those can render you infertile if neglected. Or is it only as long as you're actually sick that it's a problem?

In 2011 I had a gastric bypass surgery, which isn't doing so great. But yeah, I got a dysfunctional stomach now.

But concerning the neglectful lifestyle, I changed radically when I ascended to Israel.

Now you've had my medical history and the past, and I'd like to know: What are the chances of my fertility having been affected by those, and what tests should I get done? As a single I'm signing up at a sperm bank; they however ask mainly for Jewish hereditary disease screenings since they only sell high quality Jewish samples to healthy Jewish women. I know poor connective tissue runs in the family, which will be essential to my next question.

The present is: I have a saggy tummy and breasts due to rapid weight loss 10 years ago, and I want a body lift (thighs, arms, breasts and tummy all at once).
Should I get the procedure before or after pregnancy? I have poor conn. tissue, and while pregnancy and the end of breast-feeding (if I can still do that, after a plastic surgeon butchered my breasts 2 years ago, leaving them even saggier and scarred) will surely leave me saggier than ever, I kind of feel miserable NOW. Ideally I want to find a man and father, but not looking like this. But I know that caring for a baby will be more important than sitting in the hospital recovering from vanity.
When should I do it, keeping the connective tissue in mind? Before pregnancy or when the child is old enough I can be hospitalized? It's so bad, I got stretch marks on my shoulders when I was 10. But while I want that procedure done, the well-being and well-timed conception of my child, is my highest priority.

Also, I have 5 cats I love very, very much. They are indoor cats, so you can imagine their sand boxes... I've been exposed to cat germs since 1998, does that make me - and more importantly, my unborn child - immune/robust? I would never want to endanger my kid's health, but these cats are very dear to me.

So which tests do you think I should do? And how to time that body lift? What to do with my cats?
Socially, I have a lot of support from my Jewish girl friends and family, who are all about children. My body and my cats are what concerns me the most. Thanks a lot!

Hi there, sorry I can only be quick but didn't want to read and run. I have no advise in regards to your fertility I wouldn't have a clue but would suggest speaking to a doctor, but tbh until you strat trying it will be hard to know for certain. I would perhaps suggest having the operations you were talking about after pregnancy- may aswell get your post-baby body fixed if you want lol seems silly to get it done beforehand when your body will change again with pregnancy. And with regards to your cats, the main issue is their litter box while you are pregnant. I was not allowed to change our cats litter box because of the risk of something called....tox-something.....I don't know if gloves/mask would suffice, but it's one thing you'll be setting yourself up with difficulty by choosing to single parent, I have my own opinions on this but think you should perhaps talk to someone like a councellor before proceeding- but perhaps that is standard practice?

Hi and welcome to WTT! I'm glad you are taking care of yourself. It sounds like you have had a major lifestyle change. I'm sorry for your loss. Sadly, 1 in 5 pregnancy ends in a miscarriage. The reason I say this is that even if you have had one, it does not mean you are infertile nor will it mean you are destined for more miscarriages.
I think your best bet is to meet with an OBGYN and a plastic surgeon who you can speak with candidly and see what they both say in regards to your medical history. If you had yeast infections, I am pretty sure that they will not affect fertility; Pelvic inflammatory disease or and STI could though.
As for the cats, there is a risk of contracting toxoplasmosis from changing the litterboxes. It is definitely something you do not want to contract during pregnancy as it can be very harmful to the fetus. Personally, I would have someone else change the litterboxes during pregnancy if at all possible. Good luck!

Thanks so much for your input
PID sounds scary. I've been trying to get through to either of 2 gynecs since yesterday but noooooooo one will answer. Problem is, I'm awkward around those. So whenever I have a rare surge of courage, I call. But those surges are rare. REWARD MY SURGES!!! I've only been to one once before in my life, and I hate having someone look between my legs where I have my thigh lift scars and skin issues and all that. So she must be female, speak fluent English, preferably unattractive, and so on. I'm horrible. I knooooooooow. But I decided to man up. After all, if I were to ever give birth, I won't be able to pick the personnel staring down there. Or keep it clean and pretty. So hey. Oh man, I hope my classmate from Hebrew class hasn't opened her practice yet... She was a gynecologist in Ukraine... Soooo awkward

Morning

So yesterday I went to the gynecologist to have my hardware checked out. Apparently my uterus looks fine, PAP test is for next time, and she gave my a prescription for folic acid which I am taking now for the next 3 months. I have to keep an eye on my cycles now and get a blood screen in the middle of one. So far, so good

I'm glad it went well!

Good luck!

So when can you start the sperm donor process?

Hi Imaleh

Sounds like you've had a rough time and are finally starting to straighten out! Good for you! The folic acid is a wonderful idea. I don't know about the yeast infections causing infertility, and I don't know about the connective tissue situation. Did you happen to ask the doctor while you were there?

As far as the cat situation goes, there is a risk of toxoplasmosis (I think that's what it's called). But, I had been around cats my whole life, and still changed my cat's litter box during my pregnancy. I think I had the antibodies for it which means I could expose myself to it. However, my cat was strictly indoors so his risk for obtaining the disease was minimal to none. You have to practice good hygiene, as you probably already do when changing the box (wash your hands, etc).

Good luck!

I don't think a yeast infection will effect your fertility. Often they're treated with simple over the counter medicines. I think UTI's and STI's are what you have to worry about effecting your fertility. But since you didn't mention one of those I think you'll be fine. Not to mention your doctor said things looked fine during your exam.

As for the surgery, I would wait until after the pregnancy since your body will change and I'm sure you would rather not have to go through surgery twice.

And as the others have mentioned, I personally wouldn't be changing the litter box during pregnancy. Maybe one of your friends or family members would be willing to stop by and clean it for you? Another thing to think about is how your cats will react to a baby and whether or not your baby will have allergies. It might be wise to think of alternatives with your cats should it not work out having them and a baby.

I can't imagine living without my cats. I can only hope for it to all turn out well...

As for the surgery, I just had a huge idea. I can just get areolas tattooed on my breasts. The zig-zag messy sad excuse for an areola is my main problem.

3 months. I have to get a few tests first.