We have a two and a half year old daughter and I have been dying to have another for the last 18 months.
Because I was made redundant, freelanced and then started a new job we couldnít try before now, but we also had/have relationship problems. Basically he is very chilled out but can be selfish and a bit lazy (not in the big scheme of things but enough to piss a control freak off!), while I am fairly highly strung, with a temper and everything I do revolves around my work and family so we do have clashes.
Anyway, the point of my post is that he has finally agreed to start tcc but it feels like a hollow victory. I have spent so much emotion and energy persuading him that we will work out and that the stress of a new baby will not finish us that I feel any excitement and anticipation has gone. I am 41 in April so we donít even have time to hang around. Iím due to ovulate this weekend but even I, having been obsessed for the last few months, feel reluctant. I wanted it to be romantic, exciting, collaborative but now I just feel I have bullied him into it.
Has anyone else experienced this feeling of anti climax?
I don't have any experience with your situation as such but your personalities- you and your OH are just like me and my DH. I think it's really positive that you seem so clear and level headed when it comes to understanding your differences and therefore your relationship. It means, IMO, that you can work to make sure your relationship survives and flourishes in the future. I doubt your man has thought so deeply about things though!! Men! If I were you I would be totally honest- just like you were in your post and see how he reacts and what his thoughts are. You really don't want to regret or feel bad about a pregnancy and bringing a new life into the world. His concerns may be something you can work on together and then feel completely happy about trying again. I definitely think you need to be in it together or not at all- especially remembering all the challenges and hormones that come with pregnancy- you'll need all the support and understanding you can get. Good luck
My OH and I have often gone back and forth on when we think the best time for TTC will be so I can understand your frustrations. But I think for you to be able to enjoy the pregnancy and the TTC process you and your DH really need to be on the same page. I would sit down with your DH and talk about your concerns and give him the opportunity to voice his concerns.
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