when's the right time to try

chezababy · Feb 20th, 2012, 12:27 PM

Hi,

I'm new on here, my friend suggested that some of you might be able to help me. i'm really broody and finally feel the time is right, uni is over and both me and my OH are working, but i can't convince him its the right time. he is worried about us not owning a home (we're renting) and not being financially stable (i feel we are). how do i convince him that there will never be a time thats completely right but that now feels like the right time for us. does anyone have any ideas because i really struggle to put into words how much i want this for him.

Thanks for any advice

I Love Lucy · Feb 20th, 2012, 16:52 PM

OH and I will be renting when we start TTC. We're actually working on renting a townhome so we have adequate space for when we have a LO. But home ownership is something that a lot of couples would like to have before having a child. I'm assuming because it's easier to save for a down payment when you don't have a LO to support.

So I guess some things to consider is do you want to spend a few more years at the place your renting? Do you have enough room to add a child in the home you are currently in?

Staceysparkle · Feb 20th, 2012, 17:10 PM

Hi hun welcome to BnB

Before I started TTC I worried about not owning my own home (me and OH rent from my mum and dad) and we had no savings but both were working full time. We decided that there would never be a perfect time and we would be waiting forever if we waited to have our own home and lots of savings so we just went for it and I'm so glad we did. Don't get me wrong it would be great to have more money saved up and our own house but I wanted to be a mum so bad and was soooo broody I couldn't wait any longer. If you feel ready I say go for it

goddess25 · Feb 20th, 2012, 23:33 PM

Its a difficult one for men as there truly is never a right time for children, there will always be something that could be achievable before hand.

Its one of those things that you just need to do and start trying, everything will work itself out.

stacy1991 · Feb 20th, 2012, 23:52 PM

Hi there,

I think in reality there will never be a perfect time, in everday life things pop up unexpectedly but we just have to deal with them. i think you need to sit down and really have a long talk about it hopefully he changes his mind.

annaki · Feb 21st, 2012, 02:27 AM

Like everyone said, the is never a perfect time.

I have been in the same place with my Husband, been together for years and married for 2. I was ready straight after the wedding but he had things he needed to do first. I just left him to it (although it is hard) but sometimes you can't push things too much.

Good luck with it!

MarineWAG · Feb 21st, 2012, 02:56 AM

I would say that it is a very different time to 10 years ago, it is much harder to buy a house these days and if you aren't lucky enough to have a deposit already it could take a while so for me buying a house wasn't a must before having a baby, but we have enough to rent AND save for a deposit so it won't be forever (but with DH in the military we will live in MQs so there isn't the same 'pressure' for our own house as our rent will be very cheap). Anyhow it's not as much of a realistic goal to have a house before a child these days- not if you want to be younger parents and need to buy the house yourself anyway...so I imagine there are a lot more young families renting these days, doesn't really affect your ability to parent end of the day if you're financially stable

vikster · Feb 21st, 2012, 03:53 AM

There seems to be an obsession in this country with owning your own home whereas in Europe renting is far more common. If you can rent somewhere in a nice area with good schools that has plenty of space then go for it. If you are ready and can afford to set up for a baby then it is worth ttc. You don't have to spend a fortune to set up for a baby either x

chezababy · Feb 21st, 2012, 04:54 AM

Thanks everyone, thats good advice. i believe we are financial stable and although we aren't renting somewhere big enough at the moment i'm happy to wait while we look for somewhere if he wants to. has anyone tried moving while pregnant, how did it go? Saving for our own home will take years so i don't think we should wait to ttc when we can offer a baby a happy and stable home now anyway. I try to explain this to him and he seems to understand and agrees to try in a couple of months but then changes his mind. i think i will just have to keep trying but its hard as i really don't want to push him too much.

stacy1991 · Feb 21st, 2012, 05:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chezababy

Thanks everyone, thats good advice. i believe we are financial stable and although we aren't renting somewhere big enough at the moment i'm happy to wait while we look for somewhere if he wants to. has anyone tried moving while pregnant, how did it go? Saving for our own home will take years so i don't think we should wait to ttc when we can offer a baby a happy and stable home now anyway. I try to explain this to him and he seems to understand and agrees to try in a couple of months but then changes his mind. i think i will just have to keep trying but its hard as i really don't want to push him too much.

I moved while i was about 5 months preg and it went just fine. My partner helped packed boxes and we hired a removalist and my partner did all the heavy lifting.

Feb 20th, 2012, 12:27 PM	#1
chezababy Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Feb 2012 Location: Cornwall, UK Posts: 138	when's the right time to try Hi, I'm new on here, my friend suggested that some of you might be able to help me. i'm really broody and finally feel the time is right, uni is over and both me and my OH are working, but i can't convince him its the right time. he is worried about us not owning a home (we're renting) and not being financially stable (i feel we are). how do i convince him that there will never be a time thats completely right but that now feels like the right time for us. does anyone have any ideas because i really struggle to put into words how much i want this for him. Thanks for any advice

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Feb 20th, 2012, 16:52 PM	#2
I Love Lucy Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: Illinois, USA Posts: 6,493	OH and I will be renting when we start TTC. We're actually working on renting a townhome so we have adequate space for when we have a LO. But home ownership is something that a lot of couples would like to have before having a child. I'm assuming because it's easier to save for a down payment when you don't have a LO to support. So I guess some things to consider is do you want to spend a few more years at the place your renting? Do you have enough room to add a child in the home you are currently in?

Status: Offline

Feb 20th, 2012, 17:10 PM	#3
Staceysparkle Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Scotland Posts: 685	Hi hun welcome to BnB Before I started TTC I worried about not owning my own home (me and OH rent from my mum and dad) and we had no savings but both were working full time. We decided that there would never be a perfect time and we would be waiting forever if we waited to have our own home and lots of savings so we just went for it and I'm so glad we did. Don't get me wrong it would be great to have more money saved up and our own house but I wanted to be a mum so bad and was soooo broody I couldn't wait any longer. If you feel ready I say go for it

Status: Offline

Feb 20th, 2012, 23:33 PM	#4
goddess25 Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: vancouver Posts: 9,264	Its a difficult one for men as there truly is never a right time for children, there will always be something that could be achievable before hand. Its one of those things that you just need to do and start trying, everything will work itself out.

Status: Offline

Feb 20th, 2012, 23:52 PM	#5
stacy1991 Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: Melbourne, Australia Posts: 267	Hi there, I think in reality there will never be a perfect time, in everday life things pop up unexpectedly but we just have to deal with them. i think you need to sit down and really have a long talk about it hopefully he changes his mind.

Status: Offline

Feb 21st, 2012, 02:27 AM	#6
annaki Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Sep 2011 Posts: 322	Like everyone said, the is never a perfect time. I have been in the same place with my Husband, been together for years and married for 2. I was ready straight after the wedding but he had things he needed to do first. I just left him to it (although it is hard) but sometimes you can't push things too much. Good luck with it!

Status: Offline

Feb 21st, 2012, 02:56 AM	#7
MarineWAG Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: UK Posts: 4,574	I would say that it is a very different time to 10 years ago, it is much harder to buy a house these days and if you aren't lucky enough to have a deposit already it could take a while so for me buying a house wasn't a must before having a baby, but we have enough to rent AND save for a deposit so it won't be forever (but with DH in the military we will live in MQs so there isn't the same 'pressure' for our own house as our rent will be very cheap). Anyhow it's not as much of a realistic goal to have a house before a child these days- not if you want to be younger parents and need to buy the house yourself anyway...so I imagine there are a lot more young families renting these days, doesn't really affect your ability to parent end of the day if you're financially stable

Status: Offline

Feb 21st, 2012, 03:53 AM	#8
vikster Waiting To Try (WTT) Active BnB Member Join Date: Feb 2012 Location: Cheshire, UK Posts: 483	There seems to be an obsession in this country with owning your own home whereas in Europe renting is far more common. If you can rent somewhere in a nice area with good schools that has plenty of space then go for it. If you are ready and can afford to set up for a baby then it is worth ttc. You don't have to spend a fortune to set up for a baby either x

Status: Offline

Feb 21st, 2012, 04:54 AM	#9
chezababy Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Feb 2012 Location: Cornwall, UK Posts: 138	Thanks everyone, thats good advice. i believe we are financial stable and although we aren't renting somewhere big enough at the moment i'm happy to wait while we look for somewhere if he wants to. has anyone tried moving while pregnant, how did it go? Saving for our own home will take years so i don't think we should wait to ttc when we can offer a baby a happy and stable home now anyway. I try to explain this to him and he seems to understand and agrees to try in a couple of months but then changes his mind. i think i will just have to keep trying but its hard as i really don't want to push him too much.

Status: Offline

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