help! my body is screaming to get pregnant suddenly

youngone · Mar 1st, 2012, 00:21 AM

Hi guys

please give me advice I'm going through a hard time!

So Im 20 years old and in the last few months have gotten this INSANELY STRONG urge to get pregnant and start a family. I'm almost crying even writing this. It must be a biological signal that when off when I hit this ideal 'child baring' age or something. But it doesn't matter why because it won't go away and its really upsetting me, I can't think or talk of anything else.

I'm with the man I'm marrying and have enough money for a deposit on a good house, however I still have 2 years of university left and havnt bought a house yet. I've already partied and traveled the world. i want to settle now.

I was always so ambitious and got amazing grades, wanted all sorts of things. But now i don't. I just want to be pregnant and I feel incomplete. Every day seems like a lifetime, I'm ready but society and family says its outrageous at this point.

Anyone like this? what did you do? what will take my mind off this?

PLEASE HELP LADIES XX

iow_bird · Mar 1st, 2012, 00:29 AM

At 20, I had the same kind of thing, wanted a baby desperately, but wasn't in the right place to be getting pregnant. I didn't have my first until I was 29yrs old because it faded off after a while, and then hit me again when I turned 27.

Not really sure what to say, I would definately finish uni, but have a chat with your OH and see how he feels about it all. Just becasue finishing Uni is the sensible thing doesn't mean it's the right thing for you to do. Maybe set a tentative date for starting to TTC and then you'll have something to work towards, and it might take that horrible "I'll never have a baby" feeling away a wee bit.

Take care x x x

youngone · Mar 1st, 2012, 01:37 AM

thank you so much

I'm so glad I'm not the only one! my OH wants a baby just as bad, but we are both realistic as to why we can't right now finically. just had a crazy crying fit, i want this urge to go away!! don't know how you managed to push away the feeling till you were 29

good on you!

i think ill set the date for 2014 after graduation

TwilightAgain · Mar 1st, 2012, 02:00 AM

You're not alone. I've broody for quite a few years now. Now i'm 20 and with someone very decent (its early days atm but I do believe he is my soulmate) and i'm still broody but I have uni to finish first. I start my last year in september.

The wait is so frustrating but it will be worth it and so much better if we wait until we're a position best to do so

lilyanne · Mar 1st, 2012, 02:34 AM

Around 20 I started to get really broody. I had started dating my DH at 16 and by 20 knew he was the one so I completely understand. It was super hard but instead I tried to focus my energy on getting all of the things I wanted in place for my LO to grow up with. We graduated Uni, got married, started careers, and bought a house. DHs job ended up moving us to Germany which is something I had never imagined and shortly after we started TTC (I was 24). We are in a place financially where I can be a SAHM if I want to and aren't living paycheck to paycheck like we would have been had we had her earlier. Looking back, though we could have handled a baby earlier if it had happened, I'm glad we waited.
IMHO I think marriage, though not necessary, is a good thing to have when TTC and starting a family. If nothing else, it is a legal and financial protection for you and LO.

Imagining · Mar 1st, 2012, 07:36 AM

Yeah, I feel your pain. I've been broody for the past 3 years. I just want to have my baby and then not be overcome with broodiness. :[
Just take your time, though. You've got plenty of time to start a family. I know it's not the best thing to say in this situation, but... It gets better.

Have a talk with your OH and see what he says. Good luck!

HazzaB · Mar 1st, 2012, 09:56 AM

I was the same hun. It feels like it takes over your entire body doesn't it? At least you are being smart and finishing your degree. You have lots of exciting things to look forward to it will occupy your mind. What I did was work hard on my degree, then got my first real job! We have just moved into our own perfect house that we have bought together and got engaged at the beginning of last month! So now I am concentrating on the wedding then it will go on to babies! Don't try and rush things would be my advice. You have lots of time.x

princess_em · Mar 1st, 2012, 12:44 PM

I know exactly how you feel! I was 22 (I'll be 24 in April so have felt like this for a couple of years) and it came on really suddenly

One day having children wasn't really on my radar at all and the next I was just like I need to have a baby right now! My DF is 14 years older than me so I thought it would be easier than it has been for him to agree to having a baby, but nearly there now. Well over a year and we're at the point where we should be starting to try from next month

All I can say is that some days the thought of having a baby does seem to wear off a bit and other days it is all I can think about. But it's a good thing to get uni and buying a house out of the way first as trying to do these things with a small baby must be very difficult!

Em xxx

keri 01 · Mar 1st, 2012, 15:27 PM

Two years to wait isn't that long really. But do what makes you happy it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks its your and your OH decision x

I Love Lucy · Mar 3rd, 2012, 15:29 PM

Personally what I found has helped with my broodiness was moving in with my OH. The whole process of looking for a home kept me quite distracted from how much I wanted a baby because moving in together was a big step in our relationship and something that was very exciting to me. Maybe that is something you and your OH could think about doing and then work on getting set up financially so that when you do finish university you will be ready to TTC. If that is even what you both still want, it's amazing how broodiness can come and go.

Mar 1st, 2012, 00:21 AM	#1
youngone Waiting To Try (WTT) Active BnB Member Join Date: Feb 2012 Posts: 184	help! my body is screaming to get pregnant suddenly Hi guys please give me advice I'm going through a hard time! So Im 20 years old and in the last few months have gotten this INSANELY STRONG urge to get pregnant and start a family. I'm almost crying even writing this. It must be a biological signal that when off when I hit this ideal 'child baring' age or something. But it doesn't matter why because it won't go away and its really upsetting me, I can't think or talk of anything else. I'm with the man I'm marrying and have enough money for a deposit on a good house, however I still have 2 years of university left and havnt bought a house yet. I've already partied and traveled the world. i want to settle now. I was always so ambitious and got amazing grades, wanted all sorts of things. But now i don't. I just want to be pregnant and I feel incomplete. Every day seems like a lifetime, I'm ready but society and family says its outrageous at this point. Anyone like this? what did you do? what will take my mind off this? PLEASE HELP LADIES XX

Status: Offline

Mar 1st, 2012, 00:29 AM	#2
iow_bird Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Auckland, NZ Posts: 847	At 20, I had the same kind of thing, wanted a baby desperately, but wasn't in the right place to be getting pregnant. I didn't have my first until I was 29yrs old because it faded off after a while, and then hit me again when I turned 27. Not really sure what to say, I would definately finish uni, but have a chat with your OH and see how he feels about it all. Just becasue finishing Uni is the sensible thing doesn't mean it's the right thing for you to do. Maybe set a tentative date for starting to TTC and then you'll have something to work towards, and it might take that horrible "I'll never have a baby" feeling away a wee bit. Take care x x x

Status: Offline

Mar 1st, 2012, 01:37 AM	#3
youngone Waiting To Try (WTT) Active BnB Member Join Date: Feb 2012 Posts: 184	thank you so much I'm so glad I'm not the only one! my OH wants a baby just as bad, but we are both realistic as to why we can't right now finically. just had a crazy crying fit, i want this urge to go away!! don't know how you managed to push away the feeling till you were 29 good on you! i think ill set the date for 2014 after graduation

Status: Offline

Mar 1st, 2012, 02:00 AM	#4
TwilightAgain Waiting To Try (WTT) BnB Addict Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: Manchester & Newcastle UK. Posts: 8,311	You're not alone. I've broody for quite a few years now. Now i'm 20 and with someone very decent (its early days atm but I do believe he is my soulmate) and i'm still broody but I have uni to finish first. I start my last year in september. The wait is so frustrating but it will be worth it and so much better if we wait until we're a position best to do so

Status: Online

Mar 1st, 2012, 02:34 AM	#5
lilyanne Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: Michigan Posts: 1,517	Around 20 I started to get really broody. I had started dating my DH at 16 and by 20 knew he was the one so I completely understand. It was super hard but instead I tried to focus my energy on getting all of the things I wanted in place for my LO to grow up with. We graduated Uni, got married, started careers, and bought a house. DHs job ended up moving us to Germany which is something I had never imagined and shortly after we started TTC (I was 24). We are in a place financially where I can be a SAHM if I want to and aren't living paycheck to paycheck like we would have been had we had her earlier. Looking back, though we could have handled a baby earlier if it had happened, I'm glad we waited. IMHO I think marriage, though not necessary, is a good thing to have when TTC and starting a family. If nothing else, it is a legal and financial protection for you and LO.

Status: Offline

Mar 1st, 2012, 07:36 AM	#6
Imagining Waiting To Try (WTT) Active BnB Member Join Date: Feb 2012 Posts: 62	Yeah, I feel your pain. I've been broody for the past 3 years. I just want to have my baby and then not be overcome with broodiness. :[ Just take your time, though. You've got plenty of time to start a family. I know it's not the best thing to say in this situation, but... It gets better. Have a talk with your OH and see what he says. Good luck!

Status: Offline

Mar 1st, 2012, 09:56 AM	#7
HazzaB Waiting To Try (WTT) Active BnB Member Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: Gloucestershire, UK Posts: 406	I was the same hun. It feels like it takes over your entire body doesn't it? At least you are being smart and finishing your degree. You have lots of exciting things to look forward to it will occupy your mind. What I did was work hard on my degree, then got my first real job! We have just moved into our own perfect house that we have bought together and got engaged at the beginning of last month! So now I am concentrating on the wedding then it will go on to babies! Don't try and rush things would be my advice. You have lots of time.x

Status: Offline

Mar 1st, 2012, 12:44 PM	#8
princess_em Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: UK Posts: 85	I know exactly how you feel! I was 22 (I'll be 24 in April so have felt like this for a couple of years) and it came on really suddenly One day having children wasn't really on my radar at all and the next I was just like I need to have a baby right now! My DF is 14 years older than me so I thought it would be easier than it has been for him to agree to having a baby, but nearly there now. Well over a year and we're at the point where we should be starting to try from next month All I can say is that some days the thought of having a baby does seem to wear off a bit and other days it is all I can think about. But it's a good thing to get uni and buying a house out of the way first as trying to do these things with a small baby must be very difficult! Em xxx

Status: Offline

Mar 1st, 2012, 15:27 PM	#9
keri 01 Trying to conceive (TTC) Active BnB Member Join Date: Jun 2011 Posts: 140	Two years to wait isn't that long really. But do what makes you happy it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks its your and your OH decision x

Status: Offline

Mar 3rd, 2012, 15:29 PM	#10
I Love Lucy Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: Illinois, USA Posts: 6,498	Personally what I found has helped with my broodiness was moving in with my OH. The whole process of looking for a home kept me quite distracted from how much I wanted a baby because moving in together was a big step in our relationship and something that was very exciting to me. Maybe that is something you and your OH could think about doing and then work on getting set up financially so that when you do finish university you will be ready to TTC. If that is even what you both still want, it's amazing how broodiness can come and go.

Status: Offline

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