Hi everyone I know no one can truly answer this but myself but I just want to hear what other people thought.
I'm 20 and in a stable relationship with a man that I really am in love with and is a loving partner and adores my 15 month old daughter from a previous relationship. He's said in the past that he wants another child. We're both finishing our third year of college and he has a job opportunity waiting for him after he graduates. Would you ttc under these circumstances?
If was in your exact situation, as you asked, then I have to say: No, I would not feel comfortable ttc... yet.
I am in a similar situation, as I'm in grad school finishing in May 2013, so just over one year left. We are waiting to ttc until the baby would due at least three months after my graduation. I, too, have a job lined up and my future boss is a current supervisor of my internship experience. We're incredibly close, we were friends way before this... and she knows about our ttc plans, as I'll be the one out on a 6-8 week maternity leave.
You and your OH will have to have a serious conversation and decide for yourselves if you're ready for #2! Good luck!
I can't comment on when you should TTC as me and OH were TTC very soon after being together (now going on 4 years together) but I would not want to TTC when your OH doesn't have a stable job. I would wait until he finishes uni and gets a job
No I wouldn't it would be the furthest thing on my mind as you have a 15 month old daughter it sounds as if the relationship is still quite young relatively speaking, you're only 20 and still in education- it's great he has a job waiting for him but I'd let him settle into his job and see where his career takes him, plus you want to know you're relationship is strong enough to withstand another child or you could face being in your early 20s single with 2 children with different fathers- not the end of the world but not ideal! I would enjoy the time together you have now, why rush???
I'm not one to talk about ttc early into a relationship as we started after an unexpected loss 6 months into the relationship. But we were good friends for years and we had great stable jobs with enough money coming in at the time.
But honestly I'd wait til you both are a bit more secure with a job. I only say this because we did have financial difficulty whilst I was heavily pregnant and honestly, the stress and upset it caused was awful. So I'd wait.
As the other ladies have mentioned, I would not be ready to TTC yet if I were in your position. First off, recalling the first year of my relationship with my OH, most of it was perfect since we were in the beginning stages. It's the years after that where things change. In the beginning, you kind of have blinders on but then after you've been together for awhile you start to notice flaws/pet peeves about each other. And with some relationships, these things can be deal breakers. If you're wanting to make more of a commitment to each other perhaps think about getting a place together? You can break a lease if things don't work out. You can't do that with a child.
As for school, I know how stressed out I get with midterms and finals and I know stress isn't good during pregnancy. So for that reason I would wait to TTC until I was finished. Now don't get me wrong, I don't think you need to do all of your schooling at once. I want to have a masters one day but only have an associates at this point. There are adult programs that are more flexible that you could look at. I've been thinking of going back to school in the fall next year to start working on the bachelor's because I'll be 23 and eligible for the adult program. Granted this will depend on whether or not all of my TTC plans work out.
Probably not, but then again there are lots of other factors to take into account, such as the age gap you'd like for your children. DH and I are TTC number 2 in the summer, we are looking for a house to buy but might not be moved when number 2 arrives- not ideal but we don't want a big age gap.
Only you know whether having a LO now would be the best thing for your family, but if it is- good luck!
Any opinions, advice, statements or other information expressed or made available on BabyandBump.Momtastic.com by users or third parties, including but not limited to bloggers, are solely those of the respective user or other third party. They do not reflect the opinions of BabyandBump.Momtastic.com and they have not been reviewed by a physician, psychologist or parenting expert or any member of the BabyandBump.Momtastic.com staff for accuracy, balance or objectivity. Content and other information presented on BabyandBump.Momtastic.com are not a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice, counseling, diagnosis, or treatment. Never delay or disregard seeking professional medical or mental health advice from your physician or other qualified health provider because of something you have read on BabyandBump.Momtastic.com. BabyandBump.Momtastic.com does not endorse any opinion, advice, statement, product, service or treatment made available on the website. If you think you have a medical emergency, call your doctor or emergency services immediately.