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Apr 2nd, 2012, 06:33 AM
  #11
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I remember that feeling, but all I can say is I do look back and wish I had made more use of the time I had pre-Elliot, I love him dearly and wouldn't change a thing, I went to uni, I studied abroad, I had a great job but I still longed for a baby even at 21-22. I fell accidentally at 22, I have no regrets but I do just wish I could go back give myself a big slap across the face, tell myself I will be a mother one day and just enjoy the independence I had because you will never be the same again when you are mother. Motherhood opens a lot of doors, but closes many too, people who say it doesn't are in denial- I miss just 'worrying' for myself, the love and worry for your child is overwhelming so you can never be the same again.

There is nothing I can say that will change how you feel because I have been there, but just assure you that what people are telling you isn't tosh. I have always wished my life away...wanting uni to be done, wanting a job to finish, even every week I wish away until my husband is home on the weekends, it is a curse of mine but it is a bad habit, because it also means I look back and have regrets, mainly on how I don't make the most of life. No advice but just saying if you can find a way to dig yourself out of this whole do it, life is too short

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Apr 2nd, 2012, 06:44 AM
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totally in the same boat!!! 20 in april and already set a date to ttc for end of this year i feel i'm ready and cannot physically wait any longer broodiness is to hard to bear and doesnt my OH know it!

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Apr 2nd, 2012, 06:59 AM
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I feel this way... I've wanted a LO since I was around 19ish I'm now 26 (27 in October)
We'll be TTC as of June this year but as much as I've wanted a LO for so long I'm glad I've not had one earlier... The time myself and my OH have had together without the added pressure of children has helped us to establish a fabulous relationship, we've had the chance to have holidays away together, bought a house and been able to fully decorate it the way we have wanted without funds being ate up by a baby etc and we've been able to pay of debts
It has been a killer waiting but we're now in a position to be able to give a child a fab life!
It's worth the wait

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Apr 2nd, 2012, 06:59 AM
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totally in the same boat!!! 20 in april and already set a date to ttc for end of this year i feel i'm ready and cannot physically wait any longer broodiness is to hard to bear and doesnt my OH know it!
Well I definitely don't think 20 is too young . What I think it really comes down to is goals in life. If you, like me, have just always wanted to be a mother and give your child nothing but unconditional love, support, your wisdom, and the sharing of your life... Then why bother waiting. Ive actually met several couples who regret waiting so long and wish they had married in their early 20s and had children. If I'm not pregnant this month (lovely but wanted oops from our vacation) I'll be TTC later in the year as well. We can help eachother wait!

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Apr 2nd, 2012, 07:10 AM
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totally in the same boat!!! 20 in april and already set a date to ttc for end of this year i feel i'm ready and cannot physically wait any longer broodiness is to hard to bear and doesnt my OH know it!
Well I definitely don't think 20 is too young . What I think it really comes down to is goals in life. If you, like me, have just always wanted to be a mother and give your child nothing but unconditional love, support, your wisdom, and the sharing of your life... Then why bother waiting. Ive actually met several couples who regret waiting so long and wish they had married in their early 20s and had children. If I'm not pregnant this month (lovely but wanted oops from our vacation) I'll be TTC later in the year as well. We can help eachother wait!
It's not just being emotionally ready though, it's having the long standing, secure relationship and finances as well- these tend to come with time, few 20 year olds have this which is why some people wait. (Not saying you don't have these things I'm sure you have if you have set a TTC date- but just saying why 20 is too young for the majority of people)

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Apr 2nd, 2012, 07:33 AM
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I know exactly how you feel - I spend most of my time wishing the months would hurry up and pass so that we can start trying. People tell me to stop wishing my life away but it's not that easy when you're wanting a LO so much. I don't know what to suggest other than keeping busy etc, but it doesn't take your mind off it. Hopefully it will ease as time goes on xxxxx

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Apr 2nd, 2012, 10:01 AM
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I know how you feel. I often feel like I'm bored with my life and I just look forward to things in the future because then I feel like I won't be bored. What has really worked for OH and I going on random date nights. You can't just drop everything and go to a movie easily with a baby. We both go on shopping sprees on occasion because we usually have a lot of extra money each month after bills. Not going to happen nearly as much with a baby to support. I like to randomly leave and go to the gym/go for walks with my dog. Not going to be happening with a baby to think about. I don't think it's all about the big things when waiting, but the little things as well. Focusing on the little things that I like to do that will have to change with a LO, makes the wait more bearable.

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Apr 2nd, 2012, 10:57 AM
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Yes! I totally get how you feel and it is so frustrating. I am 28 so older than you but am so ready to be a mum and so is DH, just got to hang in there til TTC! At least we have each other on here xx

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Apr 2nd, 2012, 11:17 AM
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I know exactly how you feel! Heck I have a 10 month old and am still broody as hell, but DH and I won't be having #2 for another 2 years.

Maybe you and your OH could plan a couples vacation together. Before we had our daughter, DH and I took a vacation together and it was amazing. I only wish we had taken at least one more vacation together before TTC. I've always wanted to go to New Zealand, and now that we have a child, from now on we will be taking family vacations. Family vacations are very different from couples vacations, and just saving up for any vacation at all will now be twice as hard. Don't get me wrong, I love my daughter more than anything in this world, but the fact that my DH and I won't be able to relax as we we did before is kind of saddening. We probably won't be able to take a couple vacation alone together for another 15 -20 years.

There are just some things you can't do with children. Recently my DH took a week long road trip across 14 states, he got to see the Grand Canyon, Las Vegas, The Alamo, and so much more, and I couldn't go because I had an infant to take care of, and babies in cars for that long is no trip at all.

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Apr 2nd, 2012, 11:31 AM
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totally in the same boat!!! 20 in april and already set a date to ttc for end of this year i feel i'm ready and cannot physically wait any longer broodiness is to hard to bear and doesnt my OH know it!
Well I definitely don't think 20 is too young . What I think it really comes down to is goals in life. If you, like me, have just always wanted to be a mother and give your child nothing but unconditional love, support, your wisdom, and the sharing of your life... Then why bother waiting. Ive actually met several couples who regret waiting so long and wish they had married in their early 20s and had children. If I'm not pregnant this month (lovely but wanted oops from our vacation) I'll be TTC later in the year as well. We can help eachother wait!
It's not just being emotionally ready though, it's having the long standing, secure relationship and finances as well- these tend to come with time, few 20 year olds have this which is why some people wait. (Not saying you don't have these things I'm sure you have if you have set a TTC date- but just saying why 20 is too young for the majority of people)
You're absolutely right. Babies are very expensive and you need money to play with. In my case I'm younger 20s but I already have my career waiting for me when I have my degree this summer and I have a large savings. I have a decent paying job in the mean time as does fi. Meanwhile, if you're not yet stable and don't have the preparations or at least have a man that does... Waiting is the best option. However if you do have all your ducks in a row and you're not longing to travel or focus on a career without the complications a baby can bring you etc, I don't see why you should wait of you're both sure it's what you want. I'd say a major problem is that many young girls want the baby before they have experience with them or a realistic idea of their care. Babies are adorable... And it feels so rewarding to care for them and watch them learn and grow, but we all know that outrageously long book of cons in relation to motherhood that you need to brace yourself for lol.

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