I would prefer a 2 to 3 year age gap.

Haha! Yeah! Babies are easy... toddlers on the other hand? and then add one more!!!! I'd be tearing my hair out!!!

I haven't got any children yet, so I may change my mind totally when LO#1 comes along and I find out how it will really be...because let's face it I haven't a clue right now ...but here are my thoughts on it at present

At the moment I am in the 'Lepaskilf' school of thought, i.e. a larger age gap. I am thinking to have the eldest in school by the time #2 is born. It would be a shame in a way to not have them close in age, but then there is only 2.5 years between me and my little bro and we are not at all close, and weren't as children either, so it can't be guaranteed, I suppose.

Most (not all!) of the families I know who have children close in age have problems with jealousy and extreme sibling rivalry, and that puts me off having children close in age...I remember what it was like feeling jealous of my little brother, feeling like he'd taken over all my parents' attention...not nice! And then I know a couple of families who had their children quite far apart, and the dynamic seems to be superb there, with the older child a lot more 'into' the baby, more helpful, proud of the little one rather than jealous, etc. I do realise that these problems are not just caused or prevented by the age gap, of course, but it does seem to be a significant factor.

Plus, with kids quite far apart we would only be paying one set of nursery fees at a time, which at about £500 per month, is worth thinking about There's also the fact that when I go back to work after #1, I would have a few more years of progression before going off again...I have seen women at my work being sidelined off anything good 'because they'll be going off on maternity soon anyway', and I will not have that happen to me!

The only thing for me against having a large age gap is that my parents live far away from me (well, I live far away from them), and I would want them to be able to travel to stay with us, and us with them, to get to know their grandchildren and have a good lot of fun with them before their health begins to fail. I wouldn't want my parents or my children to miss out on knowing each other and for my children to love my parents the way I loved my grandparents (of course I still do but they are no longer with us).

I think 18 months to 2 years is a nice gap - but then I'm a bit biased too because that's what we're aiming for!!!!! xx

I think there's no right or wrong age gap to be honest. Im the sister of eddjanuary10 and shes right, we are 12 years apart but super close but me and my brother are only 16months apart and we are close as well so there you go. Just do what makes you happy xx

I was going to go for anywhere between 2 and 3 years, personally I could never handle 2 under 2, but it is different for everyone. This really depends on you as an individual and what you feel you can handle. There are pros and cons to having children closer in age compared to a few years between them. 2 under 2 you will most likely have to change twice as many diapers, but you will be done with the diaper changing phase sooner. Where as children a few more years apart you will have to go through the diaper changing phase all over again.

I need to find a nursery that only charges £500 a month

/\ /\ Yeah! Ours was charging £600 a month, then it went up to £650 so I quit my job and now a SAHM!!

it's $98 per day per kid here! Thank God i am a SAHM!

To the OP, i think asking this questions to mothers with more than one child is going to give you a more well rounded answer. At the end of the day, only what you and your partner think is what matters, but im not sure you get a very good perspective from those who dont have children or those who only have one child. I am just as guilty but when i had one i always said 2 close in age is bad news. but now look! i was even worried and had lots of anxietys during my pregnancy about it! But now that he's here, i dont know why i was ever worried about it is so much easier than i thought, and its WAY easier than with the first. Im not saying these things to tell you to have them close together i think you desearve to hear opinions from those with kids far apart too....im not trying to be rude but those with less than 2 kids dont have a real honest perspective. Even if they have babysat or are really close to others with 2+ children. It is NOT the same as having your own. just MHO. Im not trying to offend anyone. It is good to think about the future and speculate it, but unless you've been there you really dont have much premise.

We pay £600 a month for only 4 days a week, when we move to London one nursery I've asked is £800 a month full time and that's with RAF discount! Hopefully il get child care vouchers through work though.