It's a bit unfair to dismiss us just because we don't have more than one child. I don't WANT two under two for lots of reasons, I know I'd cope, I'd have to, but I am looking at the practicalities for my family particularly because I don't want to be a SAHM. I don't know what short gaps or bigs gaps are like, just like you have no idea what a big gap is like, we all do what's best on paper and cope with what we choose to do. My opinion is no less important than yours, it's just different.

We are currently TTC for #1 and we're hoping for 4-5 years between babies. We are currently in a condo and would like to have moved into a bigger home by the time we add a 2nd child. I think it all depends on you, there's no right or wrong. I've seen siblings of all ranges get along great and I've seen some who are night and day from each other.

I do apologize if that came off as dismissing your opinion. I did not mean for it to come off that way at all

but i just dont understand how someone with one or less is going to be able to provide much insight if they havn't done it

so yes, everyones opinions matter, and i wasn't trying dismiss it but i felt like some of the posters were saying certain things that i dont think they would say if they had more than one. Thats all. I just felt like there were negative connotations with certain child rearing patterns and i dont think thats fair if they havent experienced it themselves. It wasnt anything personal or dimissive. and obviously its important to take into account all perspectives. and whats one for good is not good for all, by an stretch of the imagination. But i do think having a fair view is important too. And i was not referring to ppl having 2 under 2. i meant that for ANY age gap. If you only have 1 child (or none) you have no experience with ANY age gaps I dont think everyone should have 2 under 2...not in the least! it is NOT for everyone. But my point was, if you have 1 or less you have no clue about age gaps, whether that be close age gaps or far age gaps, that is all.

That's 4 days a week on salary sacrifice through my work's nursery, so not 'full price' as such. It's probably gone up since I last looked at the sums, since I looked at the cost over a year ago!

I did say in my post:
I'm sure you didn't mean to offend, and you actually didn't offend me, before you get the wrong idea about why I'm saying this, but the OP didn't ask for opinions from only a particular subgroup of WTTers

I wasn't offended by anyone here

I really don't think you can say this. Maybe we don't have experience as parents, but we might do as siblings, for example. And to be fair, you only have YOUR experience of ONE age gap, so it's not unbiased either I thought this was meant to be more a discussion of what people's thoughts and planning processes were? You can still have thoughts on it even if you haven't been through it. Sure it might not work as you plan it, but I find when I'm posting a question that it helps to read what other people think about a situation whether they've been through it or not. It helps me refine my own thought processes.

I only have one child, but I do have an idea of how different age gaps would affect my family!

I do know that the reason I have chosen a larger age gap is because I know for me it would be much harder if they were close together because of finances, my OH working away and me being on my own with 2 young children.

I know that if I have a larger age gap it gives me time to go back to work, for my eldest to be in school making the newborn stage easier and less expensive with eldest in nursery.

I know that having a larger age gap will be less stressful for me as I won't be juggling a potty training, teething, in to everything toddler with a newborn and sleepless nights!

I think because I don't yet have a second child doesn't mean that I don't know how it will affect my family in the ways that are important when thinking about having another!

I appreciate you're not trying to offend but I could say to you- well I don't think your opinion is worth listening to because you have a toddler and a baby, you don't know what it will be like when they're toddlers, or children, teenagers even, so I am only going to ask mothers who have grown up children....we are all entitled to our opinion, we all have something to offer, I appreciate your experiences having 2 littlens, but that does not mean the OP doesn't want to hear what other people are planning. It's like dismissing people's thoughts on when they want to have a baby because they haven't experienced a baby yet so they do not know if their chosen age was the appropriate one....we all plan to the best of our ability and this thread is just asking what we have planned and how we came to make the plans.

Ah I'm with you, I was about to ask where you lived and move to your area I haven't found a job where we're moving yet but will be checking employers have childcare voucher schemes before applying lol.

I think all age gaps have their pros and cons but i'm 5 years older than my sister and we only really starting getting on as adults, might have just been our personalities rather than the age gap though!