Anyone Else Feeling Anxious About TTC!?

pianogirl · Apr 10th, 2012, 08:56 AM

Hello everyone! This is my first post on this site! I thought I was crazy, looking up pregnancy articles and thinking about having children all the time! My husband wants kids too, he's just not as talkative as me so it doesn't show as much from him. I wasn't going to join this site until we were actually TTC, but then I found this part of the site. I'm so glad that there are other people that are so anxious to start trying!

We are going on a missions trip to Haiti in July. So we are waiting until after that to TTC. I am starting to worry that things won't go well for us. I have a cousin that struggles with infertility, my mom had two miscarraiges... I can't help but think of all of the things that will go wrong with trying to have a baby. I don't want to stop being excited about having a baby, but I don't want to obsess about it or feel anxious about it either.

jeaniejean · Apr 10th, 2012, 10:56 AM

Hello, I'm in the same boat in that I'm pretty nervous. No fertility issues on my side but DP had two undescended testicles that were only operated on when he was 7 (should be done much earlier). We've both only just found out that this can cause major fertility issues and I just have this feeling that we won't be able to get pregnant conventionally. Got an appointment on Friday with the GP to get the ball rolling with tests etc.

I can see why you're worried, but remember that fertility issues don't mean you can't have a baby - and you may have none of the problems your family did. Best of luck! xx

lrxjessica · Apr 10th, 2012, 11:01 AM

I know I am anxious and I already have one. But I suffer from an anxiety disorder and OCD so I tend to get anxious about everything. I also worry about things that could go wrong. I'm still trying to learn how not to obsessed but last time..I just did it. I pushed all those worst case scenarios out of my head and did it.

pianogirl · Apr 10th, 2012, 11:04 AM

Thanks for your support. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers on Friday Jean, I hope everything turns out well for you and your DP!

NurseSooz · Apr 10th, 2012, 11:09 AM

I'm a bag of anxious. My list is endless but mainly the fear of infertility. I also have fears after I have the baby about being a good enough mum, changes in my body etc etc. you're not alone. I think it's natural to be apprehensive but sometimes I take things to extremes!

MindUtopia · Apr 10th, 2012, 11:24 AM

I don't think I'm anxious yet about having fertility problems. I think I just assume it will magically all come together and be fine and we'll be pregnant within 6 months and not have to even think about that stuff (fingers crossed). But I do worry that I'm not mature or responsible or selfless or grown-up enough to be a parent. However, I'm 31 so if you aren't those things by the time you are in your 30s, I'm not sure you'd ever get there! So just crossing our fingers, saying a little prayer and hoping for the best! I think it's normal to feel like this. No one is ever completely 100% sure they are ready, I don't think.

Snuffles · Apr 10th, 2012, 12:07 PM

I feel very anxious for when the time comes, especially with the fertility part. I fear I'll be infertile(unlike my mother, who is fertile mertle

) and also, last time I saw my OBGYN for an ultrasound they told me I have a uterine septum. Not quite sure how that will affect me, due to them not telling me the severity of it. So yeah it is normal to be anxious about TTC and all that jazz.

AnneBurg · Apr 10th, 2012, 12:29 PM

Same infertility fear here guys!
Also I worry a lot about how a baby will affect relationship with OH. We've been together for 10 years and have gotten used to our cozy little family of us and cat- relatively responsibility free, we've been able to be spontaneous! Not to say that with my type A personality things are entirely chaotic ("planned chaos") but it will certainly be a lifestyle changer when we LO's are around!
Aside from keeping the communication door wide open, any ladies with kids have tips on maintaining a great relationship post kids?

NurseSooz · Apr 10th, 2012, 12:42 PM

Oh my god Anne! You just summed up my greatest fear. My husband and I have been together for 10yrs and I secretly love it being "just us" and the cat. What if our relationship changes? What if he loves the baby more than me? What if what if what if. We're so used to it being just us - how will we cope? We both want a baby so much as we know we'll work well together to make great parents. We want to challenge our relationship I guess but we're scared.

My close friends felt similar. They said their love "changed" but it made them stronger and were bonded more by their son. They love working together to bring him up well.

pandabub · Apr 10th, 2012, 13:36 PM

I am anxious, and I also have one already! Namely because I have PCOS and I understand that next time round could potentially be a struggle (although DD was a completely happy surprise).

In response to whether it changes your relationship - well yes, absolutely it does. But that doesn't have to be a negative thing. Whilst we no longer DTD three times a day, we have an added, beautiful bond that could only have come about from the process of raising our daughter. There is nothing quite like bringing a life into the world that is comprised of parts of you and the person you love.

Bear in mind I am not saying it is easy because it isn't. We needed to redefine our relationship and it seems to be an ongoing process as our daughter grows and matures. But evolution need not be a negative thing and if you embrace it, you may find that the bond you already have reaches yet another level.x

Apr 10th, 2012, 08:56 AM	#1
pianogirl Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Apr 2012 Posts: 183	Anyone Else Feeling Anxious About TTC!? Hello everyone! This is my first post on this site! I thought I was crazy, looking up pregnancy articles and thinking about having children all the time! My husband wants kids too, he's just not as talkative as me so it doesn't show as much from him. I wasn't going to join this site until we were actually TTC, but then I found this part of the site. I'm so glad that there are other people that are so anxious to start trying! We are going on a missions trip to Haiti in July. So we are waiting until after that to TTC. I am starting to worry that things won't go well for us. I have a cousin that struggles with infertility, my mom had two miscarraiges... I can't help but think of all of the things that will go wrong with trying to have a baby. I don't want to stop being excited about having a baby, but I don't want to obsess about it or feel anxious about it either.

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Apr 10th, 2012, 10:56 AM	#2
jeaniejean Waiting To Try (WTT) New BnB member Join Date: Jun 2011 Posts: 2	Hello, I'm in the same boat in that I'm pretty nervous. No fertility issues on my side but DP had two undescended testicles that were only operated on when he was 7 (should be done much earlier). We've both only just found out that this can cause major fertility issues and I just have this feeling that we won't be able to get pregnant conventionally. Got an appointment on Friday with the GP to get the ball rolling with tests etc. I can see why you're worried, but remember that fertility issues don't mean you can't have a baby - and you may have none of the problems your family did. Best of luck! xx

Status: Offline

Apr 10th, 2012, 11:01 AM	#3
lrxjessica Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Texas Posts: 208	I know I am anxious and I already have one. But I suffer from an anxiety disorder and OCD so I tend to get anxious about everything. I also worry about things that could go wrong. I'm still trying to learn how not to obsessed but last time..I just did it. I pushed all those worst case scenarios out of my head and did it.

Status: Offline

Apr 10th, 2012, 11:04 AM	#4
pianogirl Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Apr 2012 Posts: 183	Thanks for your support. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers on Friday Jean, I hope everything turns out well for you and your DP!

Status: Offline

Apr 10th, 2012, 11:09 AM	#5
NurseSooz Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Nov 2011 Location: Edinburgh Posts: 988	I'm a bag of anxious. My list is endless but mainly the fear of infertility. I also have fears after I have the baby about being a good enough mum, changes in my body etc etc. you're not alone. I think it's natural to be apprehensive but sometimes I take things to extremes!

Status: Online

Apr 10th, 2012, 11:24 AM	#6
MindUtopia Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: Dorset, UK Posts: 3,757	I don't think I'm anxious yet about having fertility problems. I think I just assume it will magically all come together and be fine and we'll be pregnant within 6 months and not have to even think about that stuff (fingers crossed). But I do worry that I'm not mature or responsible or selfless or grown-up enough to be a parent. However, I'm 31 so if you aren't those things by the time you are in your 30s, I'm not sure you'd ever get there! So just crossing our fingers, saying a little prayer and hoping for the best! I think it's normal to feel like this. No one is ever completely 100% sure they are ready, I don't think.

Status: Offline

Apr 10th, 2012, 12:07 PM	#7
Snuffles Trying to conceive (TTC) BnB Addict Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: Pennsylvania, US Posts: 4,412	I feel very anxious for when the time comes, especially with the fertility part. I fear I'll be infertile(unlike my mother, who is fertile mertle) and also, last time I saw my OBGYN for an ultrasound they told me I have a uterine septum. Not quite sure how that will affect me, due to them not telling me the severity of it. So yeah it is normal to be anxious about TTC and all that jazz.

Status: Offline

Apr 10th, 2012, 12:29 PM	#8
AnneBurg Trying to conceive (TTC) Active BnB Member Join Date: Mar 2012 Location: Canada! Posts: 66	Same infertility fear here guys! Also I worry a lot about how a baby will affect relationship with OH. We've been together for 10 years and have gotten used to our cozy little family of us and cat- relatively responsibility free, we've been able to be spontaneous! Not to say that with my type A personality things are entirely chaotic ("planned chaos") but it will certainly be a lifestyle changer when we LO's are around! Aside from keeping the communication door wide open, any ladies with kids have tips on maintaining a great relationship post kids?

Status: Offline

Apr 10th, 2012, 12:42 PM	#9
NurseSooz Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Nov 2011 Location: Edinburgh Posts: 988	Oh my god Anne! You just summed up my greatest fear. My husband and I have been together for 10yrs and I secretly love it being "just us" and the cat. What if our relationship changes? What if he loves the baby more than me? What if what if what if. We're so used to it being just us - how will we cope? We both want a baby so much as we know we'll work well together to make great parents. We want to challenge our relationship I guess but we're scared. My close friends felt similar. They said their love "changed" but it made them stronger and were bonded more by their son. They love working together to bring him up well.

Status: Online

Apr 10th, 2012, 13:36 PM	#10
pandabub Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: London Posts: 372	I am anxious, and I also have one already! Namely because I have PCOS and I understand that next time round could potentially be a struggle (although DD was a completely happy surprise). In response to whether it changes your relationship - well yes, absolutely it does. But that doesn't have to be a negative thing. Whilst we no longer DTD three times a day, we have an added, beautiful bond that could only have come about from the process of raising our daughter. There is nothing quite like bringing a life into the world that is comprised of parts of you and the person you love. Bear in mind I am not saying it is easy because it isn't. We needed to redefine our relationship and it seems to be an ongoing process as our daughter grows and matures. But evolution need not be a negative thing and if you embrace it, you may find that the bond you already have reaches yet another level.x

Status: Offline

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