Hi Everyone,

I'm new here. I was hoping to reach out for some advice, encouragement.

All I've ever wanted was to be a mommy. I've loved children and babies all my life, and felt that 'maternal instinc' since I was young.

I've also suffered from a panic disorder since I was 19. When I was 29 (last year) I suffered a nervous breakdown of sorts. It was the most uncomfortable and traumatizing experience of my life. At the time I was taking a low-ish dose of paxil, that I had been on since I was 19. Anyways, eventually I managed to switch to Zoloft 50mg as I was informed that during pregnancy this particular SSRI was considered safer than others. It has been a LONG 9 months of ups and downs.

I really want to TTC at some point this year, but at the same time i'm terribly afraid. I'm afraid I won't be able to handle the pregnancy and hormonal changes, i'm afraid for some reason that i'll end up in psychosis (no history of it, just a huge fear of mine). I'm afraid that I won't be able to function on little sleep (I have CFS). Basically, i'm afraid I'll be a bad mum and that i'll end up passing down this horrible anxiety disorder to my child.

I know my husband is ready and deep down I want it so badly, but i'm just afraid.

Are there any other mommies or mommies to be or mommies in waiting who have been in or are in a similar situation who can offer some guidance and advice?

Thanks so much for reading
xoxo

sorry hun i dont have any experience of this but didn't want to read and run so uhge xx

I'm not in the same situation but I understand being afraid. I'm terrified of not being able to get pg or that I'll miscarry. I find discussing these fears with my OH and just getting them out on here has helped a lot. It makes me feel like I'm not in this alone when I have the support from these amazing members and my OH. I'd also talk to your doctor about your concerns. They may able to offer you advice that will help ease your mind.

I don't have any experience with an anxiety disorder, but its completely normal to be terrified before ttc so it sounds like you just have an extra thing to worry about! Perhaps talking to your prescriber about your fears will help alleviate some of the worry? Have you sought counseling? Perhaps talk therapy will be a good way to help you control you anxiety while ttc!

Good luck! I'm pretty sure that other women on here have anxiety disorders, so hopefully someone else will see this and chime in!

Maybe seek out counseling to help you ease your mind?

Hi! I've got an anxiety disorder (GAD), panic attacks and off/on depression. You won't be a bad mother. The fact that you're aware and worried is a good thing. Bad parents don't worry or think that their actions could lead to bad parenting.

What I did first was to talk to my psychiatrist to discuss whether I'm stable enough to try getting off my meds. We decided I am! I'm slowly weaning off my anti-anxiety drugs with medical supervision. The meds I was on aren't safe for pregnancy so at the very least I'd have to change them. I notice you're in Canada. There's a great phone line run out of Toronto's Sick Children's Hospital called "Motherrisk." It's staffed by RNs who can tell you whether your meds (prescription an over-the-counter) are safe for pregnancy. You don't need a doc's referral and it can provide you with very useful information. I think for people like us, it's important to have a strong support system of family, friends and health care providers. My DH has been amazingly supportive as I've come off my meds. And what's more, I'm actually LESS anxious now than I was when I took my full doses. Go figure! Anyway, this is kind of all over the place. Feel free to private message me if you want to talk about it more.

Thanks guys

I am in therapy - and it's actually my psychiatrist who is encouraging a baby. She thinks I would be a great mom and would have little problems other than what everyone else experiences! I plan to also continue seeing a psychologist during pregnancy just to keep my fears in check.

I have a great support system, i'm just worried.

Kismet, I can't figure out how to PM you

Um? Hm. I tried to PM you and couldn't figure it out either. I've added you as a contact, so maybe that will work now? I haven't successfully PMed anybody. I tried to respond to one two weeks ago and ended up deleting it instead. Can anyone help?

It sounds to me like your going to be a great mom, you are aware of your mental health issues and concerned about your unconceived child which sounds to me like you are stable enough and mature enough to become a mother. Lots of women are on anti depressants during pregnancy and as you say you switched to one that is safer.

Its only natural to be afraid and all I can say its quite the daunting task anyway. I was terrified when it came down to eventually trying.

I am sure everything will be fine.

Huge