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Old Jun 6th, 2018, 20:21 PM   11
Disneyfan88
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Hang in there, Dobby. My DD is only 13th percentile in weight, but her doctor isn’t concerned. She was born a few weeks early and started out small, but she’s been following the growth curve. It’ll get better with time. My older daughter wasn’t small for her age, but she was not a fan of textures for a long time.

Do you offer rice cereal? I haven’t given any to DD, but maybe you can gradually thicken that as he gets used to more textures.



 
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Old Jun 6th, 2018, 21:15 PM   12
DobbyForever
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Just a couple times. I’ll add that in. I just talked to my friend and we’re going to get our babies together. They are month apart but she’s been a great eater. Hoping some good old grass is greener social peer pressure might help



 
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Old Jun 6th, 2018, 22:07 PM   13
jessmke
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Could you and your mom do some meal prep on the weekend so your LO has some dinner's ready? Like a chili or curry in the slow cooker and a batch of rice or quinoa, a pasta dish, a big pan of roasted veggies, etc. Lentil curry with rice/quinoa and chili with rice/quinoa has been a favourite of both my kids since they started on solids at 6 months old. Rotini pasta noodles are easy for little hands to pick up, and the sauce can be loaded with chopped veggies (and meat if you'd like). We usually have several containers of leftovers in the freezer that we freeze in single meal sized containers so on a night when we are rushed for time we can at least warm something up for the kids and get them to bed and then worry about ourselves later. Other meals that we do when pressed for time is roasted yams, peas, and a meat of some sort thrown on the bbq. It takes literally 20 min to make it all and the kids love it. Pretty basic but it's healthy and easy for the kids to eat.

We keep a towel and cloth in the kitchen so if we don't have time for a bath we can throw the baby in the kitchen sink and hose him off quickly after supper because when eating stuff like chili/curry/pasta they tend to get suuuuper messy!



 
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Old Jun 7th, 2018, 01:55 AM   14
noon_child
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Sounds like you've been trying your hardest to do the best by him under tough circumstances. A lot of us UK mummies are still on maternity leave when our children our weaning, and we make assumptions about how easy and often a mum can cook for and offer varieties of food to their babies. We also have a lot of daycare providers who offer meals as part of the package so you don't have to prep or send anything in with the child (yes harder if there is an allergy but often some meals will be made dairy free etc. to accommodate) - so that sounds extra tough.

It might be a very good thing to offer him more family food as it will mean you will get fed properly too - you are worth looking after as well!! But don't feel guilty if there's the occasional need for a quick convenience meal - just be aware to older he gets the more he'll refuse pouches/jars of baby food and you'll be spending a fortune to buy enough for his appetite. I used to buy these microwavable toddler meals (they said from 1+ but my daughter was already eating family food, and I know these age recommendations are just a way of marketing stuff and making you buy more things you don't need) and these were quick to prepare but had no added salt and were balanced meals like meatballs in chickpea and tomato stew. These were a lifesaver but of course probably contained dairy - so I was lazy (i.e busy and needing help) sometimes and was lucky I could use these.

If he's hungry because he didn't have much food he should be offered milk (formula or breast) to meat his nutritional needs.

Please don't beat yourself up over your past relationship and/or blame your baby's very normal behaviour on anything you think you did wrong in the past. It sounds like the holiday period will be a great time to get to grips with solid food and before you know it you'll hardly remember this time as food will be so normal to him.



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Old Jun 18th, 2018, 23:21 PM   15
DobbyForever
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Thank you all for taking the time to share your experiences and strategies. I really appreciate it and I wish I had s good update

Just to update taking out puréed food did not help. He still refuses solids/even just soft mashed food. The only food he did not refuse caused a, thankfully mild, allergic reaction. And by mild I mean his whole face turned into a red, swollen, itchy balloon but he didn’t stop breathing so that’s a huge plus. He, as I figured, without that extra 250-400 calories a day (because no he did not just drink more formula despite being offered) does not sleep through the night, cannot nap well anymore, throws full on tantrums, has headaches, and is overall not a happy camper with a stomach that gurgles and churns frequently.

So i’ll Keep offering him soft Mashes and table food he won’t end up eating but I really feel I need to give him purées because at this point it just feels like child abuse. I am glad that strategy worked for so many others, but it is not working for my son even if I sit there and also eat it and act like it’s the best thing ever.

I’m also now so exhausted I’m forgetting diaper changes and have left my dogs outside several nights and just overall becoming a poopy human being because i’m not getting sleep either

I’m just frustrated. I feel like all his peers are walking and talking and eating and my son is 11 months and not walking, not talking, and not eating. And this whole court abusive a*hole dad stress is not helping



 
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Old Jun 18th, 2018, 23:48 PM   16
Disneyfan88
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Dobby - If I were in your shoes I’d keep offering bottles as well as whatever foods he will eat. DD is often picky with finger foods (and sometimes just chews it up and then stores it in her cheeks until she gets annoyed by it and sometimes starts crying until we scoop it out). You can either offer mushy / super soft finger foods and then switch to what he will really eat after a certain amount of time, or feed him his normal food and then put the soft foods on his tray to explore while you eat your normal food next to him. DD likes to watch us while we eat and generally shows the most interest in eating when we are eating.

I think I mentioned this before, but the thing that really helped her figure out the whole chewing and swallowing thing was gerber puffs and then eventually Cheerios. Is he able to tolerate eggs, mashed banana, or avocado?

How much is he getting by bottle eat day? At this point, that’s still his primary source of nutrition.

Hang in there - you’re doing great.



 
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Old Jun 19th, 2018, 04:49 AM   17
DobbyForever
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Thanks. I offer him a 6oz bottle every 3-4 hours about 5-6 times a day. If I offer him more, he never drinks more than 6 but typically stays in the 4-5 range. And he will not eat bottles offered more frequently. Which is exactly what he was drinking before while also getting 20 oz of purée a day.

The plan was to keep offering the mash or solids and then give him purée after he’s clearly given up on whatever i’ve given him. What little food ends up in his mouth he typically spits out. The only things he hasn’t spit out are tofu (yesterday) and eggs (allergy). But I have tried slices or mashes or literally every fruit and veggie and protein you can buy at Whole Foods and if we eat out I try to order something I canshare with him and/or bring his puffs/wafers. He’ll get a banana if I hold it but won’t pick it up and eat it himself. I give him puffs at every feeding. I just worry he’ll see it as a pre food ritual not food he should’ve eating.

Doesn’t help he just got over a viral infection that caused sores in his throat for a little beyond a week so solids were off the table anyway.



 
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Old Jun 22nd, 2018, 11:28 AM   18
noon_child
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DobbyForever View Post

The plan was to keep offering the mash or solids and then give him purée after he’s clearly given up on whatever i’ve given him. What little food ends up in his mouth he typically spits out..........

Doesn’t help he just got over a viral infection that caused sores in his throat for a little beyond a week so solids were off the table anyway.
Viral infections, sickness and colds often, well pretty much always, make all children really fussy and picky round food - they almost revert to all milk diets and can take between 2-3 weeks to get back to normal and will lose weight during this time. They do get over it and gain the weight back

Your plan to offer him food to play with and explore first and then a little puree afterwards sounds perfect. Don't worry that he spits things out - this isn't him saying he doesn't like it, it's part of him learning how to move things round his mouth and chew and swallow.

I have heard lots of stories of children who have allergies being very reluctant to eat solids (or even touch food) almost like they know they have allergies. Having a swollen face is quite a serious allergy so it might be worth seeing if you can get him tested for any other allergies. The churning stomach could be related too.

Regarding his development, it is VERY normal for a child to be not walking or talking at 11 months. My daughters first word was at 13months and she didn't walk till nearly 15months. Your son sounds completely fine. It is also normal for them not to be sleeping through and as exhausting as that is it feels much more manageable knowing you aren't alone and you are not doing anything to cause it. Sounds very much like the stress you are under is causing you to be very hard on yourself and assume you are doing something wrong. From what you have said, you are working soo hard to do the right thing for him, you care about him and are sad to think he might be suffering. This shows you are a great mum, just give yourself a break and some time.

If you are worried he is genuinely hungry but can't for whatever reason take more formula or eat food, then please take him to a doctor.

P.S there is only 12 days between your original post and update. It may take him a bit longer than that to learn to what food is, how to pick it up, to learn about texture through squashing and pushing it around, to bite it rather than suck, to chew and move it round his mouth, swallow etc.



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Old Jun 23rd, 2018, 05:15 AM   19
DobbyForever
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Ty. Now that I put purée back in his day instead of forcing finger foods all day, the churning and headaches and restless nights are behind us. He’s getting 4-5 bottles a day of 4-6oz, 2 snacks of finger foods I know he tries to eat (toast, puffs, mum mums), and 3 stage 3 pouches. That’s an improvement because he wouldn’t eat stage 3.

It’s definitely not a taste issue. I got one of those mesh things to just see, and he loves it. He has trouble getting food into his mouth and his tongue thrust is still pretty bad, but his desire to try and interest is there. From what I read it’s just a matter of practice and potentially a speech therapy issue. He is not tongue tied because we had that clipped when he was a day old since it interferes with his ability to latch.

But I do offer him soft mashes and table food multiple times a day if only to explore and practice.

Just frustrating because i’m Not sure how serious his daycare is about only allowing toddlers to eat school food. So it’s a ticking time bomb. I did message my friend who moved about potentially hiring her person since she’s now down 3 kids/she has worked with many of the teachers at my school. Also because I don’t like their schedule and again that’s something they are very non negotiable about.

I really appreciate all the supportive advice and kind words.



 
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Old Jun 23rd, 2018, 11:01 AM   20
noon_child
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Found this thread about older babies who still have tongue thrust. https://community.babycenter.com/pos...ue_thrust_help



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