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This sounds familiar! We had very similar problems, in fact even now we're struggling with his weight gain - in the last 2 months he's gained a grand total of 2 1/2oz!
My HV recommended cutting the milk down, and she warned to expect some sleep disturbance, although thankfully we haven't had it (yet). The thing is, if LO has a full tummy from milk, or knows that they will be getting a lovely big bottle soon, there is no incentive to eat. If you would rather not drop a bottle completely, start by halving it. LO will take a few days to adjust to the fact that he's not getting it, and when you're ready drop the other half.
The other thing I was told, which helped a lot is to just relax, he will know if it's upsetting you and it could start to become a game. Pretend you're not even looking when he's got his food. Give him foods he's more likely to enjoy to start with, and as you get established with him actually eating at all, gradually switch over to more 'meal-like' stuff. We TW, but have always offered lots of finger foods too. These are some of the most popular foods here:
yoghurt
fruit pot
organix crisps
tinned peaches
custard
rice pudding
jam on toast
raisins
pasta with AK tomato,cheese & carrot sauce (its on her website)
scrambled egg, especially with cheese
rusks
heinz biscotti
I mix things up and now always offer a savoury meal to start, followed by a dessert of some sort. Some days he still has hardly anything, some days he eats loads. If you have a resistant eater I've always been led to believe that in the beginning it's more important to actually getting them eating something (even if it's not the healthiest), then work on getting a better range later.
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