LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old Mar 14th, 2016, 16:30 PM   1
Mum (Mom)
BnB Addict
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 3,964

Need some advice, my head is a shed!

Hi all,

I worked as a manager in a job I liked for two years but quit about due to the loss of my son and needing something less pressured and regather my thoughts and emotional/mental health.

I managed to gain employment in a job that I'm in now which is part time, 3 days a week. The pay is pretty poop but it fits in with child care for now, meaning that dd is with me during the week for 2 days (I get weekends off), my oh for 1 day and nursery for two days.

The job hasn't been anything like I was expecting though - I have to pay expenses outright then wait to be reimbursed which is difficult when the pay isn't great and they have extended my probationary period, I now think I'll stay on this until my maternity ends which causes me a lot of stress due to the role I do (essentially I have to rely on others to achieve my goals due to working in the heath sector so is nothing that I can control as such).

I've just been offered a job doing what I did before, full time. The wage is so so much better (around 16k a year better) and the hours aren't too bad, however we will struggle for child care one day a week which we could use nursery for as dd is already there.

The job is exactly what I want to do, career wise and also personally as coming out of my field has made me realise how much I love it.

Then mummy guilt kicks in.

I currently work part time and am contemplating full time so will see my children less. It works out to 2 days a week less that I'd see them than my current job.

maternity wise as I've not been in my current job long it doesn't make any difference as I'm not entitled to anything, but I'd be able to break up earlier In this job due to holiday.

I feel like I'm being pulled in 2 ways; my desire to do the job and my guilt at contemplating going back full time and being away from my children.

can anyone offer any advice? any other mummies of 2 young children who work full time? how do you manage? xxx

Status: Offline
Old Mar 30th, 2016, 15:21 PM   2
Mum (Mom)
Chat Happy BnB Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 1,139
Hi, I'm not a mum of 2 and I've worked free lance since DS was born, some times two or three days a week sometimes 14/15 days in a row! I go through fazes of feeling bad when I've a lot of work on but what makes me continue is knowing that enjoying my work makes me happier which means when we are together he gets a better happy mummy than he'd have if I was miserable at work - even if it was for less time. I also know how chuffed he was a couple of weeks ago when I came to his school to speak about my job as part of their 'world at work week'.
If your children are happy and safe with your care arrangements then you being happy is only going to be better for your family in the long term. Good luck whatever you decide.

Status: Offline
Old Apr 26th, 2016, 13:45 PM   3
Mum (Mom)
New BnB member
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: Tennessee, USA
Posts: 4
It is relatively common to pay for items then request reimbursement. Get a dedicated credit card, use it for business expenses only, and submit your reimbursement logs as soon as possible so that you get paid before the monthly statement. You'll pay no interest and you get the cash back points.

Status: Offline
Old Apr 29th, 2016, 15:58 PM   4
Mum (Mom)
BnB Addict
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Idaho
Posts: 9,452
I work full time with 1 toddler. And of course it is really difficult to be away from him 5 days a week. I have tried finding part time work but there is just none in my field.

But to be honest if I had to work part time and still be away for 3 days a week in a field that I did not enjoy as much I would be even more unhappy. The way I view it is I am happy doing my job and feel it is important. I also get to come home to my little guy and enjoy being mom. And because I am happy professionally and personally I feel like I am a better mother.

Some days I do feel guilty. BUT I refuse to let it control me. I work because I have no other option. And I enjoy my job and the break it gives me. But it doesn't mean I am not a good mother and that my children will miss anything. Children are very adaptable and they will turn out fine if you stay at home or work full time.

Status: Offline