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Old Sep 8th, 2016, 03:59 AM   1
Mum (Mom)
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Scotland
Posts: 2,360

Help needed - urgent.

Hi everyone. Please any help or advice would be greatly appreciated.
My husband has got dyspraxia and dyslexia (he can barely read or write and struggles with clumsiness etc) ... He doesn't come off as having learning difficulties but he is in a catch 22 where his disabilities affect his ability to get a job and advance his learning but not bad enough to be taken seriously for schemes for getting jobs/guarenteed interviews because of his difficulties.
I love my husband regardless obviously he is the kindest person i've ever met and is so supportive. It just kills me to see him unhappy with his career. It never use to bother him but recently i think he is becoming depressed. He hates his job. His boss and work mates call him a name basically a different word for stupid (they say it in a jokey way but it's not very nice). Since he was 18 he failed 2 college courses (lowest level courses) so went on to just get whatever jobs he could. He has done jobs like maintenance, janitorial, phone scripts ... His latest job he has been in for 2 and a half years (longest job he has had so far) .. anyway he really wants a new job, preferrably he wants to work for himself but right now with me being on mat leave we need some form of guarenteed income to pay our bills.
I just don't know how to help him. I sit with him and type his applications (he says what he wants to put in and i type it so he doesn't make spelling/grammar mistakes) ... he definitely needs a new job its really affecting his mental health and making him lose his confidence.
Also what can he do? He wants a career not just jobs. He feels like he gets treated like shit in jobs because they see him as dispensable because theyre jobs you dont need any qualifications for. He wants something where he gets treated with some respect, has security, decent pay but what can he do to do this?
He use to have his own window cleaning company for about a year and he made enough during summer and autumn but we really struggled during winter and spring. His confidence has been really knocked by so many people, his dad has a successful company and could have trained him in his trade but when husband asked if he would he said no because he didnt think he could do it. He feels like the black sheep of his family (they are all very successful career wise, own their houses, don't struggle financially etc) and imagine how it feels for your own dad to basically say he doesn't think your capable to learn a trade. I feel really hurt for him and just want to help him.
Does anyone have any advice on what he should do? He said if it came to it he wants to go to college but he wouldnt get funded and thats the money side to it. He just wants a decent job where i can go work part time after baby is here so baby can have me home a bit more. He wants us to be able to buy even a cheap house out of the area we are in (our house has been broken into once, and an attempt was made recently while i was home alone, we found a needle in our garden, none of our neighbours work except us, theres a lot of people on drugs around here and fights at weekends and we dont want to raise our baby here.... we use to think it didnt matter because so long as we raise her right and keep her away from it but how can we when playing in the garden people off their faces walk by) ...
Any advice

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Old Sep 8th, 2016, 05:02 AM   2
Mum (Mom)
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Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 11,688
It's not for everyone but has he ever considered the forces? The RAF has a few bases in Scotland, there are numerous trades he can choose from that would give him skills for life, they have learning centres that could help him with his key skills. The money progresses nicely, good pension, you can get insanely cheap housing and they can help you by a house with an interest free loan towards a deposit. It's not for everyone, but it was the making of my husband. The variety of careers is amazing.

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Old Dec 2nd, 2016, 14:32 PM   3
Mum (Mom)
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Central scotland
Posts: 2,366
Has he ever thought about care work? If his coordination would prevent him from the physical accept could he consider more of a comfort position? Visiting others for company, going shopping with them. My mum works for a company called Crossroads who don't do personal care but lots of support work. No paperwork to do just a rewarding job that means a lot to the client and pay isn't so bad either xxx

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