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Old Dec 8th, 2016, 16:30 PM   1
Mum (Mom)
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Location: Montana
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Severe financial distress

This is difficult.

I gave birth at the end of September and husband has not had good luck finding a job or profession that pays wells and he likes.

He got into an argument with his most recent boss and walked out, with no source of income lined up. Merry Christmas...

We haven't really had a Christmas for 3 years. I haven't gotten anything and neither has he from each other for 3 years.

We are $11,500 in credit card debt.
We are into a vehicle loan for over the automobiles' worth, at $30,000, it's worth maybe $24,000.
My husband has $20,000 in student loan debt.
My husband filed for bankruptcy 7 years ago in February.
We have unknown amount of medical bills due, ranges at least right now in the $2,000 range or more.
We received medical charity last year that ended on Dec 1.
We have a new born and are unable to pay child support for my DH's son.
We won't be able to make our mortgage payment.

DH refuses to work at a menial job even if it means we stay afloat.

I trust him, but I'm starting to wear thin. I have started the process of financial assistance through our mortgage company to reduce or delay mortgage payments. We have no choice if we want to keep our home. His family gave us at least $2,000 last year to keep us afloat when he was laid off from his electrician job. He refuses to go back to that job now because he says everyone was depressing and he felt taken advantage of. Our insurance was amazing and his pay was getting better when he was laid off. My employer insurance is sub-par at best. He gave up his position on good standing in February because he had been laid off since September 2014 and unemployment wasn't cutting it (although we were floating at least).

He tried multiple sales jobs, some commission only, and believes he was a failure at them.

For a few months we had to take cash advances on a credit card in order to make mortgage and pay bills. :/

I don't know what to do. I am working full time, he is not. He is taking care of our DD and it wears him out of course. He is staying up late with her, which won't benefit her in the long-run. He is getting very little done but has been applying for some jobs. He says he is determined to be a truck driver, now. He would be shipping out to truck drivers school next year for 3 weeks (no money coming in of course and full-time child care for DD somehow). After training he would be home maybe 2 days every two weeks, making about what he was as a electrician when he left, at first.

He wants to be his own boss in some fashion and no have to work with anyone else or have a boss breathing down his neck. But, is it worth another 2-3G of credit card debt for a trucking job he has to hold for two years under contract? I'm thinking not.

I figure if he won't try something else, why not try getting back on as an electrician and be a shining light? He said he refuses, just today when I asked him.

I'm losing it and see bankruptcy in my near future.

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Old Dec 9th, 2016, 08:34 AM   2
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Aside from the financial aspect of this, it seems to me that your husband is struggling with some other internal issues as well. I know a man's job can be their identity, and if this is the case with your husband, he got his taken away from him, leaving feelings of low self worth. On the flip side to that though, he needs to be making every attempt humanly possible to be responsible for this situation. Yes, there is help out there, and I hope together you can both come up with a plan to make ends meet.

I am encouraged by the phrase you wrote, "He is determined to be a truck driver." That may be a very suitable job for him because no one will be looking at him sizing up their opinions. He might find the freedom from failure in this job. I really truly hope and pray something good will come of it.

Do you have a "Jobs and Family Services" close by to where you live? Or something similar? A phone call to them might provide you with a strategy for geting some solid direction to get you the assitance you need.

I also want to encourage to place your needs before God. I don't know if you pray or not, or believe in the power of prayer, but God does care about every detail of your life; big and small. There is a song we used to sing at church that has become my motto for trusting God in impossible situations. The words go, "God will make a way, where there seems to be no way, He works in ways we cannot see, He will make a way for me. He will be my guide, keep me closely by His side, With love and strength for each new day, He will make a way.

Thank you for sharing your heart here. I feel the burden. I promise that I will be praying for you too.

Old Feb 13th, 2017, 07:48 AM   3
Mum (Mom)
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Down at the bottom of the garden beneeth the birds and the bees
Posts: 1,288
How are u getting on now

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