right this started after having LO basically because I hemmoraged, i was then then in hospital for a week had a transfusion, no sleep, and just constantly thought i was going to die, I didnt even want to go home because I felt like id go out of there care and something terrible would happen...
my worries then passed on to LO, i was constantly watching him, decided to co sleep as i felt he was safer and still prefer it but he sleeps alone as much as possible now, I dont feel comfortable with anyone else looking after him not even my OH really and never even let my mum :s
Im not so worried about LO anymore but now its transferred to something else again, i cant be at home alone, me OH and LO moved into our first place alone as soon as we were out of hosiptal so its partly because im not used to it but my OH works until 11, and while hes not here i cannot move from the living room, ill make sure LO'S moses basket is in here then block the door with the sofa because im sure someones gonna try and get in and i will be helpless, i find it even hard to move from were im sitting as it feels like a safe place, sometimes ill just sit and cry :/ i dont understand i just know it needs to be sorted for LO'S sake
I'm not experiencing anything like that atm but as a young teenager I was pretty similar , I couldn't even leave the house even with someone else never mind alone at one point without going into a state of panic, absolutely hated having panic attacks it was awful! But the more I avoided things and stayed in my like safe bubble the worse it got. So to try cut a very long story short o had to get help and talking to a professional really helped , you tell the cpn nurse all yourproblems, worries nd fears and then they talk it through with you and give you the tools to help yourself really I know it might sound scary and I won't lie it isn't easy but it really does help! I went from a point of it destroying my life , having to leave school at 15 with hardly and qualifications and in the end just being stuck in my room 24/7 to a point where I not only left home but moved away somewhere else for college
So trust me if I could get over my anxiety anyone can!
You may have postpartum anxiety or postpartum OCD if you have had a baby within the last 12 months and are experiencing some of these symptoms:
•Your thoughts are racing. You can’t quiet your mind. You can’t settle down. You can’t relax.
•You feel like you have to be doing something at all times. Cleaning bottles. Cleaning baby clothes. Cleaning the house. Doing work. Entertaining the baby. Checking on the baby.
•You are worried. Really worried. All. The. Time. Am I doing this right? Will my husband come home from his trip? Will the baby wake up? Is the baby eating enough? Is there something wrong with my baby that I’m missing? No matter what anyone says to reassure you it doesn’t help.
•You may be having disturbing thoughts. Thoughts that you’ve never had before. Scary thoughts that make you wonder whether you aren’t the person you thought you were. They fly into your head unwanted and you know they aren’t right, that this isn’t the real you, but they terrify you and they won’t go away. These thoughts may start with the words “What if …”
•You are afraid to be alone with your baby because of scary thoughts or worries. You are also afraid of things in your house that could potentially cause harm, like kitchen knives or stairs, and you avoid them like the plague.
•You may feel the need to check things constantly. Did I lock the door? Did I lock the car? Did I turn off the oven? Is the baby breathing?
•You may be having physical symptoms like stomach cramps or headaches, shakiness or nausea. You might even have panic attacks.
•You feel like a captive animal, pacing back and forth in a cage. Restless. On edge.
•You can’t eat. You have no appetite.
•You’re having trouble sleeping. You are so, so tired, but you can’t sleep.
•You feel a sense of dread, like something terrible is going to happen.
•You know something is wrong. You may not know you have a perinatal mood or anxiety disorder, but you know the way you are feeling is NOT right. You think you’ve “gone crazy”.
•You are afraid that this is your new reality and that you’ve lost the “old you” forever.
•You are afraid that if you reach out for help people will judge you. Or that your baby will be taken away.
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