10 yr old- attitude problem!!

[VampMum1980]

omg my 10 yr old daugther is the devil recarnated i swear, she screams and shouts when she cant get her own way, if she has her mates round her attitude gets worse, shes really fussy bout food, hardly eats her packed lunch and takes AGESSS to eat her dinners EVERY NIGHT , moans about everything i cook, tells me if i say no shes gonna do it anyways! and if she gets the slighest cold shes dying, or tummy ache shes crying coz she dont wanna be sick, she just whines about EVERYTHING, ESP her bed times, she thinks 10pm is not late for her to go to bed on a school night ...err excuse me it is if i have to wake u up for school and u moan your too tired and dont wanna get up! grrrrrrrrrrrrr



now her new moan is facebook , she wants it and i say no way not til ur 13, then she says ' but all my friends have it' well they must have lied to get it coz u gotta be 13 i thought?

anyway anyone elses 10 yr olds like this? im not really enjoying her at the minute!

 

[nievesmama]

Awww hun, you have my sympathies. Tillie has been like this since 9. I think a lot of it is down to hormones tbh. And with her i found that as a lot of her friends can do stuff, she thinks she HAS to be allowed to.
As for Facebook, yes you do have to be 13. Tillie had it when we moved, i kept a close eye on her. But its a easy way for bullying to happen, and as you know she was severely bullied. So i have deleted it.
Sometimes i feel all i do is moan and tell her off, but her attitude is awful.
According to my mum i was a lot worse at her age, not that that makes it any easier.
Sorry i dont have any advice, just wanted you to know you`re not alone x

 

[trumpetbum]

I'm going through similar with my 10 year old, she has always been bolshy but her attitude this year has been atrocious so we removed all her privileges. She still whinges but seems to be getting the message that all the nice things she has are removable. We've made her earn back computer time, TV time, her ipod, pocket money etc and all treats. I hope things improve for you.

 

[VampMum1980]

thanks, thats what i do i take her lap top off her or ban tv and she has a tantrum , and i think ahh she wont do that again but she will do the exact same thing 2 days later, its like she never leanrs she acts like a spoilt brat to be honest!

 

[trumpetbum]

I am suspicious like Nievesmama that it might be the start of rampant hormones, and yeah I have to do the same thing repeatedly sometimes, at the start of it I thought it was never going to get any better. The way she spoke to me sometimes was beyond a joke but we are making progress although it's been gradual and her school have helped a lot. I'm hoping that the new baby will make her want to be a little bit mature, is that too much to hope for

 

[VampMum1980]

thats good shes making progress hun n congrats on baby xx

 

[Minstermind]

I don't have a 10 year old just yet so I can't relate to the age aspect of it, but can definitely relate to the food issue. I had a lot of issues in the beginning getting my son to eat his dinner. I finally realized after lots of different techniques that were all designed to either encourage or bribe or plead or whatever, that I just took his dinner plate away if he got fussy over it. He was shocked when it first happened and got really upset, lol...I did give it back that night but there were a couple of times altogether where it got taken away and that was it - he went to bed hungry that night. He learned real quick after that to eat the food that was given to him and not be such a turd about it, lol!

As for his lunches, if he repeatedly wouldn't eat much of them, I just stopped packing so much. At one point it was literally just a sandwich with nothing else, or just a few grapes and a cheesestring or something. When he came home and had eaten it all and complained about being hungry, I let him know I expected his lunch to be reasonably all eaten that day (of course there will be days or situations when it's not all eaten, but generally speaking, there's no reason not to) and that pretty much solved that problem.

Maybe with the other stuff, you could try taking away the privilege(s) for a longer period of time, like a week or something, so she has to be on good behavior for longer to get it back? Also take it straight away again at the first sign of stroppiness? Dunno for sure as I haven't quite faced that yet, but think I'll go with that approach if I do. It's an advanced form of what I already do if my son starts talking back or misbehaving.

Conversely, I encourage and point out when he's being good, or especially good (kind of in line with that ''catch them being good'' philosophy) as I want to balance it out and really focus on the positive and rewards for good behavior. I don't have it all down perfectly and smoothly all the time as I'm learning as I go, but those things seem to help me with him so far anyway.

 

[VampMum1980]

thanks, what u said about the dinners n taking it away im gonna try, also her packed lunches i give her 5 things maybe thats too much and coz she moans that she doesnt like much that i pack for her i did say well your not gonna have much in ur lunch box soon then if u dont like anything, i can imagine if i just put a sandwich in i would feel bad all day, but i think i will cut it down to 3 things ( its anoying coz she wont eat fruit) if she did at least id feel satisfied shes getting goodness!