DottyLottie
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My eldest daughter is 11 next month, in recent weeks (since we have moved country!) she has become really difficult at home and also with my mum, but particularly her step dad (who has raised her from age 3).
I understand her behaviour is frustrating (it drives me slightly mad of course), but I also understand that she has not had an easy time lately, and she is also at that age where her body is changing and her hormones are probably a little wild, she is a proper little Kevin the teenager, I used to think that show was exagerated, but gosh is it true!
My OH really does not (in my opinion) react well to her beahviour, he can be very antagonistic, sarcastic, often teases her and does very little to encourage or praise her when she is being good. He is not (and in fairness has never been) particularly loving towards my two older children, he has treated them very well and cares about them and loves them in his own way I am sure, but not the same as he does our third (his biological) child.
A lot of my daughters outburts are aimed at him, she has recently said she hates him a couple of times and this has really upset him.
He gets so angry and goes mad and says he won't even bother speaking to her again, and this makes me furious.
The way I see it, HE IS THE ADULT, and he is behaving as badly as her.
Also, I completely understand how my duaghter must be feeling.
We moved her to a foreign country, she never settled, and is painfully shy, and has now had to suffer the upheaval of coming back etc.
She has a new sister who she dotes on, but also has to watch her step dad fawn over and love like he has probably never done for her, I can see how this might make her feel a bit dejected.
On top of all of this, she is at a funny age, she doesnt have the best control of her emotions and is not great at articulating her feelings, frustrating times for her no?
Ever since the new baby was born I have tried to tell my OH he needs to pay more attention to the gils, tell them he loves them more and hug them more, he hasn't taken much notice.
I hate the way he reacts when she is stroppy, he can be very sarcastic and antagonistic and I feel this only makes the situation worse. He thinks I am always siding with my daughter, and gets angry with me.
Ultimately, my kids come first, I love my OH but I think he is being ignorant, and I feel guilty that my daughter is clearly unhappy right now. As adults I feel me and OH should be able to help her work through her strops, but OH feels she should be punished and ignored because she is rude and horrible (and its true, she can be!), but he refuses to try and look at the igger picture, and see if WE can make adjustments to how we communicate with her.
At my wits end! Has anyone else been through this?
I understand her behaviour is frustrating (it drives me slightly mad of course), but I also understand that she has not had an easy time lately, and she is also at that age where her body is changing and her hormones are probably a little wild, she is a proper little Kevin the teenager, I used to think that show was exagerated, but gosh is it true!
My OH really does not (in my opinion) react well to her beahviour, he can be very antagonistic, sarcastic, often teases her and does very little to encourage or praise her when she is being good. He is not (and in fairness has never been) particularly loving towards my two older children, he has treated them very well and cares about them and loves them in his own way I am sure, but not the same as he does our third (his biological) child.
A lot of my daughters outburts are aimed at him, she has recently said she hates him a couple of times and this has really upset him.
He gets so angry and goes mad and says he won't even bother speaking to her again, and this makes me furious.
The way I see it, HE IS THE ADULT, and he is behaving as badly as her.
Also, I completely understand how my duaghter must be feeling.
We moved her to a foreign country, she never settled, and is painfully shy, and has now had to suffer the upheaval of coming back etc.
She has a new sister who she dotes on, but also has to watch her step dad fawn over and love like he has probably never done for her, I can see how this might make her feel a bit dejected.
On top of all of this, she is at a funny age, she doesnt have the best control of her emotions and is not great at articulating her feelings, frustrating times for her no?
Ever since the new baby was born I have tried to tell my OH he needs to pay more attention to the gils, tell them he loves them more and hug them more, he hasn't taken much notice.
I hate the way he reacts when she is stroppy, he can be very sarcastic and antagonistic and I feel this only makes the situation worse. He thinks I am always siding with my daughter, and gets angry with me.
Ultimately, my kids come first, I love my OH but I think he is being ignorant, and I feel guilty that my daughter is clearly unhappy right now. As adults I feel me and OH should be able to help her work through her strops, but OH feels she should be punished and ignored because she is rude and horrible (and its true, she can be!), but he refuses to try and look at the igger picture, and see if WE can make adjustments to how we communicate with her.
At my wits end! Has anyone else been through this?