12 week scan - it was twins, 1 baby healthy the other stopped growing at 8wk :(

[hmaz]

I went for my twelve wewk scan today. My husband has been convinced from the start that I was carrying twins and I was thinking I might be due to very early symptoms and feeling so much worse than I did in my first two pregnancies.

It turns out I was carrying twins, one baby is growing well measuring exactly 12 weeks and with a strong heartbeat but the other wasn't strong enough and didn't make it past 8 weeks.

I feel absolutely devestated. I know I should be happy that I have a healthy baby growing exactly on track but I just feel so shattered by the news that there was a second baby that didn't make it. Has anyone else been through similar with a multiple pregnancy?

Thanks x

 

[Oxygen7880]

I have no experience of this but I didn't want to read and run. I'm very sorry for the loss of your precious baby. It must be really hard for you right now. Hugs for you.

 

[Hotbump]

 

[BSelck24]

I have never had multiples but I wanted to send

 

[Ally2015]

Just sending you cuddles and love

 

[LoraLoo]

Im sorry hun, we found out we were expecting identical twins at 6 weeks, 2 heartbeats, but lost one at 7 weeks, it's bittersweet x

 

[Jennifurball]

Sorry to hear that

 

[hmaz]

Thanks ladies x

 

[EverythingXd]

Oh that's so sad, I'm sorry for your loss

 

[Moom7900]

I'm so sorry for your loss, but congratulations on your healthy baby too! Take your time to grieve and look after yourself xxxxxxx

 

[DobbyForever]

Hugs. I had a similar experience. I had early spotting and went in to the ER. Twins was on the radar because my hcg was more than tripling in 48 hours, and when I went in there was a small, second sac. I was told it was vanishing twin, and it was really hard to process because everyone face to face didn't understand how I could be so upset over losing a baby that was never viable. The prospect of watching the sac get slowly re absorbed into my body killed me. I ended up not having to live through that reality because the second baby took a turn for the worse unexpectedly.

Just because you have one healthy baby still growing does not erase the fact that you have a very valid loss. You are entitled to grieve. It does not make you ungrateful or selfish or dramatic or anything. It makes you a mother.

I am so sorry for your loss, and I am so happy to hear your second bean is measuring right as rain. Wishing you the happiest and healthiest for the rest of this pregnancy.

 

[hmaz]

Hugs. I had a similar experience. I had early spotting and went in to the ER. Twins was on the radar because my hcg was more than tripling in 48 hours, and when I went in there was a small, second sac. I was told it was vanishing twin, and it was really hard to process because everyone face to face didn't understand how I could be so upset over losing a baby that was never viable. The prospect of watching the sac get slowly re absorbed into my body killed me. I ended up not having to live through that reality because the second baby took a turn for the worse unexpectedly.

Just because you have one healthy baby still growing does not erase the fact that you have a very valid loss. You are entitled to grieve. It does not make you ungrateful or selfish or dramatic or anything. It makes you a mother.

I am so sorry for your loss, and I am so happy to hear your second bean is measuring right as rain. Wishing you the happiest and healthiest for the rest of this pregnancy.

Thanks for your reply DobbyForever. I'm sorry sorry you had to go through that. It must have been so hard for you.

Our family have been very upset and are very surportive, but i've really been surprised by the friends that have almost shrugged it off and said that it's all fine as we still have one baby. I'm not sure whether they are just trying to be positive or if it's that they just don't know what to say. I've only had one friend so far tell me how sorry they are and to just give me a big hug.


Thank you for all the support and virtual hugs ladies. It really does help knowing that there are others who have been in similar situations and understand what it is like to lose a baby whatever stage of pregnancy. Thank you all xx

 

[OnErth&InHvn]

Back in 06 i was bleeding on our wedding night and went to ER- 7wk, found out it was twins! They said one or both may not make it. wait and see.
17wk, i went to find out the sexes and found out our son passed in those weeks before and was reabsorbed. ( his placenta was still visible). My DD1 went on fine but was small and needed the NICU 2wks. We found out after birth the twin was a boy.

We have always talked about her brother and she knows she is/was a twin.

 

[Kazy]

I had the same thing 2 years ago. I was devastated because I had another miscarriage earlier that year. It's such mixed emotions. I can still tear up when I see twins sometimes. But I have a healthy 14 month old now who is so precious. I'm grateful she was healthy.

 

[DobbyForever]

Family tends to grieve alongside you because they feel that same loss. I never realized how much my losses hurt my mom until recently. Friends don't know what to say or do in these kinds of situations. They want to show support but not say the wrong thing. They want to cheer you up but don't know how. They probably are just going for the glass half full keep you positive, but sometimes you don't need that. I'm glad family is there to grieve with you and when your heart has healed enough that your friends will be there to help celebrate the birth of your beanie.

 

[lucy_x]

I lost twins at 11+3 in Jan, I'm not going to lie it hurts everyday. I'd have loved twins and I miss them, even though I never got to meet them....I wish somehow that one had survived, allowing me a bittersweet end but it wasn't to be.

I'm so sorry for your loss. Take time to grieve xx