12 Weeks and Feeling Very Lonely =[

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - First Trimester' started by pink_cabbage, Oct 10, 2008.

  1. pink_cabbage

    pink_cabbage Beccy & Esmée

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    I'm 23 and am 12+4 weeks pregnant. The father left me 3 weeks after we found out because he said it had messed his head up, that I was crying all the time and he couldn't deal with it, and that he couldn't handle the way I was - apparently I was being negative about everything. He also didn't want me to return to University to study, either before the baby was born or afterwards. This is someone I've known for 7 years and thought I could trust :(

    So I've been on my own since then, and am at University (living in halls, away from home) studying to be a Chemistry teacher.
    I have no friends here 'cause they all left last year, and I've not told anyone that I'm pregnant except a couple of people on my course 'cause they have kids already and so were ok with it.
    I'm leaving at Christmas so that I can return home to my parents, but I'm just so lonely here at the minute and am crying all the time.
    I've tried calling my ex but he won't pick up, and the only time he replied to any of my texts was to tell me he wants nothing to do with me, he doesn't want to know anything about the baby, and that he won't be paying me any money.

    I don't know any other pregnant people, I've still not been to see a midwife, and I really don't feel good. So I was just looking for people to chat to really...
     
  2. Jemma_x

    Jemma_x Mummy and Engaged

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    Hey hun, im sorry that your ex wants nothing to do with you or your baby but its his loss, if you want to chat im here if you send me a pm ill send you my private email/msn. Really hope things start getting better for you soon and i do hope to chat soon x
     
  3. Reedy

    Reedy Outnumbered x

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    sorry to hear your ex is being an idiot about it all x the girls on here are fab & they will listen whenever you need a chat
    Hope he comes around soon & supports you the way a man should x x x :hugs:
     
  4. pink_cabbage

    pink_cabbage Beccy & Esmée

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    Thanks girls, that means a lot :)

    I really don't think he will come round though... I guess it's a good job I have a supportive family.

    Jemma - it won't let me send IMs 'cause I'm new here, I think that's why...
     
  5. mz_jackie86

    mz_jackie86 Well-Known Member

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    So sorry to hear wat ur going thru hun, im goin thru a similar thing!
    But just think what u get at the end of it, and once you finish uni you will be back home so things will seem alot better!
    As for your ex dnt pay him no mind he sounds like a waster to me and your better than him!
    He has no choice but to pay for his baby and csa will make sure of that, after all u didnt make LO on your own!
    If he doesnt want to see your child then thats his loss....
    Pm me if u wanna chat! xxx
     
  6. Mandykins

    Mandykins Well-Known Member

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    Im so glad you have a supportive Family!
    My hubby was raised sans dad and turned out fantastic! sometimes things work out for the better like that
    and it really is his loss!
    If you ever wanna chat I am online more than I should be =D
    Mandykins
     
  7. emzlouize

    emzlouize mum 2 Aidan & Angel Mason

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    sorry this has nothink to do with this thread jst wanted to say my scan is on 16th woo x
     
  8. Pyrrhic

    Pyrrhic Well-Known Member

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    :hug: honey. There should be a pregnancy and parents group at your University that you can get involved with. Maybe you should go along to your student union and ask? You'll find there are quite a few people at University who are pregnant. I help run a student forum, and there seem to be quite a few student mums. It would probably be good to talk to someone in a similar situation to you.
     
  9. pink_cabbage

    pink_cabbage Beccy & Esmée

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    I really am too emotional lol - I just started crying when I read all these posts. It's so good to have other people to talk to 'cause I've been stuck in a single room on my own for all this time, having nothing to do except eat McCoys Salt & Vinegar crisps and watch TV!

    Thanks girls :)
     
  10. pink_cabbage

    pink_cabbage Beccy & Esmée

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    There's not anything like this at our Uni unfortunately - I'm on the committee for the SU, and should probably suggest it!
     
  11. spoo

    spoo Mum to Harry and Emily

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    :hugs:

    You're not alone hun x

    It might be a good idea if you get yourself checked into your local GP - you can see a midwife and she can go through your details and check everything's okay. Talk to her about how you feel - there may be a local group you could join.

    You'd be surprised how much support you get once you start telling people. Now most people in my office know I'm pregnant and they're always looking out for me, asking me how I'm doing every day.

    Hope things work out for you, let us know how you get on?
     
  12. Pyrrhic

    Pyrrhic Well-Known Member

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    If you have the time, you could throw yourself into organising something like that. It could be fab and really take your mind off things. Plus you wouldn't have time to be lonely as you'd be surrounded by lots of new friends and new mums! :) You could have visiting midwives and health visitors giving talks on different aspects of pregnancy, you could tour local creche facilities, etc. I found a similar thing at Cambridge: https://www.societies.cam.ac.uk/family/
     
  13. journey

    journey Well-Known Member

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    Hi hon, just wanted to send some :hugs: your way. I know you feel lonely but you have your little bean to keep you company! During my first pregnancy DH and I were going through a really rough patch so I would go to the park and talk to my bean. I also kept a journal so my baby would know how much he was loved and wanted. It made me feel a lot less lonely. :)
     
  14. LuluBee

    LuluBee Mummy to Alex

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    :hugs: sorry you're feeling so lonely honey. The girls on here are all lovely. You could also go to the pregnancy buddies section and look for some buddies due around the same time as you, or other pregnant ladies in your area. I know my bump buddies have been my lifeline during the tough times of my pregnancy. Also I would insist on seeing your local midwife or at least your GP, getting everything moving with the pregnancy will help you feel better and they can also recommend groups that you might be interested in meeting up with, or could just be someone to talk to about how you're feeling :hugs:

    I'm on bedrest so am on my own in the house all day everyday and know how lonely it can get (although I am very fornutate to have a lovely husband and family around me) if you need anyone to talk to just pm me xx
     
  15. applegirl

    applegirl mum of 1 and adopting

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    hey pink cabbage - so glad you've got in touch on this forum.

    Sounds like you are having a rough time, and I am so sorry. I'm glad you are finishing your degree - you are being strong and smart.

    Just get on line and chat with us any time. I agree - get in touch with your GP and get a midwife, let some one help take care of you. At 12 weeks you can go for a scan and see your wee bean.

    AND I agree. I don't know much about the law but I am sure that your ex will have to help with the finances.

    Chin up girl. You are being brave and amazing. Sending you and your little bean :hug:
     
  16. PuffinMuffin

    PuffinMuffin Loving being a Mummy!

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    Just wanted to send along big :hug: for you. What a horrible time to be going thru, but your so lucky to have a supportive family behind you.

    Get yourself off to see the midwife and you should be able to see your little bump soon, which will give you instant company, i've been talking to mine non stop since I saw :baby:

    And dont worry about your ex, his loss! your going to have a beautiful and amazing baby in no time at all who will mean the world to you and stop you feeling low in a heartbeat, plus the local authoritys will hit him where it hurts so you dont have to worry!

    Lots of love and hugs, just try and stay positive and focus on getting to a family xmas where you'll be spoilt rotten!!! and in the mean time stay in touch on here, everyone is so nice and there is always someone around to pick you up xxxxxx
     

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