13dpo, BFN HPT, and heartbroken

[TLK]

I'm 38 (39 in December) and just finished my 1st round of clomid and had a negative HPT this morning. I can't stop crying. We dtd almost every day from day 10-20. Had beautiful positive OPK on CD 16 and 17. Used preseed. All tests done at the Fertility Clinic are normal. I'm devastated. And losing hope. I know I'm lucky to have a healthy 2 years old but I still really want a sibling for him. My friends are all pregnant with their second. They are all younger than me. I wish I started this earlier. Now, I'm wondering if I should even consider IVF. Ugh. I just can't stop crying. And I have clients in an hour - How do you guys stay positive and hopeful?

 

[aidensxmomma]

Big !

I can't offer much in the way of advice - I'm having a hard time staying positive and hopeful as well. I spent much of yesterday upset and crying because I got two seemingly positive tests but then a negative blood test. TTC is a very difficult journey, especially when you run into complications.

Something that does sometimes help me is every time I get AF I repeat this to myself: "I'm one cycle closer to my BFP." It doesn't always help, but sometimes it works.

Sorry I don't have good advice. Hopefully someone else will have some tips for you. But I wanted to send you some hugs and let you know you're not alone.

 

[TLK]

Thanks for your kind words. It's such a tough road. At least I can go have a drink of red wine tonight. But, I would much rather be pregnant.

Positive tests followed by negative? Oh man, that would be so hard. You get your hopes up and then....any reason for why? So many ups and down.

Thanks for the support. It's funny how you connect more with people online more than friends or family. My friends who are pregnant now just don't get what we go through. It's quite a connection we have.

Onto clomid cycle #2. Maybe this one will lead to a positive outcome.

Take care,
T

 

[Thisismyyear]

Did AF show up? If not then you are still out. Plenty of women only get a BFP after they are late. Try to stay positive. I know it's hard. I'm 36 and have a 2.5 year old and really wish we'd started trying sooner. Most of my friends have 2 children (some pregnant with number 2) and almost all are less than 2 years apart. I'm hoping we conceive soon so that age gap is not too much more than 3 years. I do know how you feel. Big hugs to you x

 

[ShootinStarz]

Hugs for you hun but try not to stress to much. I couldn't get a faint bfp untill 17dpo with both my pregnancies. So your not out till aunt flo shows.

Keeping FX for you

 

[TLK]

Did AF show up? If not then you are still out. Plenty of women only get a BFP after they are late. Try to stay positive. I know it's hard. I'm 36 and have a 2.5 year old and really wish we'd started trying sooner. Most of my friends have 2 children (some pregnant with number 2) and almost all are less than 2 years apart. I'm hoping we conceive soon so that age gap is not too much more than 3 years. I do know how you feel. Big hugs to you x

You and I seem to be in same situation. I am literally the only one out of my group of friends that only has one child. I know I sound like a spoiled brat because so many well deserving amazing women struggle with having #1. But I still feel horribly jealous.

Now i'm just wondering if I should bite the bullet and try IVF. 10 grand is alot of money - and there are no guarantees (especially since I have had 2 miscarriages). I know it takes a long time to set up and I'm trying not to panic - but....

Anyway, I hope we all get out BFP's soon. I love my marriage, my son, my career but something is still missing - ugh. such heartbreak.

 

[Thisismyyear]

I'd say give the clomid a chance for the 3 cycles and then have a think about what you want to do next. My antenatal buddy conceived her first on the 2nd month trying clomid and she was 41 x

 

[TLK]

Oh that's encouraging - thanks for letting me know. I can't get over how teary I am today - I wonder if it's the clomid.

 

[tinadecember]

Keep your chin up hun Like others have said with some women it can take a while longer to get a BFP if HCG builds slowly.

I am sending you all the luck in the world!

Yes clomid will be responsible for making you teary, I am on cycle 3 of clomid due to my husband having a low sperm count. This is our last shot before we enquire about IVF after 23 negative cycles. I've found with clomid that one minute I'm teary, then happy, then feel like I'm going to rip someones head off! It can really mess with your emotions

xx

 

[laughingduck]

How many cycles have you been TTC? At least you know that you CAN conceive, and it was not that long ago, it will happen again for you! Also, in my last group of TWW buddies one girl did not get her BFP until 18 or 19 DPO! She got it late with her firstborn too though so it seems to be something that happens to certain women. I know the feeling of only having one child when everyone has two though. My daughter is almost 4, we had to wait so long because of some health issues I was having. I hate when people ask if she is my only, and look sad for me when I say yes. Anyway, we both need to stay positive and know that we WILL have our second child, and years from now we will wish we had not stressed so much over it!

 

[TLK]

Thanks everyone! AF arrived today. Onto chlomid cycle #2.

Good luck everyone!!! As laughing duck We WILL have our second babies soon!

TLK