16 month old wont go to sleep without me beside her

Discussion in 'Toddler & Pre-School' started by lovinmummy, Jun 1, 2011.

  1. lovinmummy

    lovinmummy Well-Known Member

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    hi. i just wanted help advice on my 16 month old daughters sleeping habits. she has been in her own room since 6 months old, she moved into a toddler bed at 13 months old because she just screamed histerically one night when i tried to put her in her cot.. and shes had no troubles.. she knows that its her bed and thats where she sleeps and that, its just that she wont and cant go to sleep without me sitting right beside her. i try to jump and go to the toilet and as soon as i stand up to go she screams and cries histerically and no one can settle her except me when i get back. i understand that it is our fault for not teaching her at a young age to go to sleep on her own. she always liked to be patted and cuddled to sleep, and thats fine. i dont want any criticisms please i just want advice or suggestions on how to start teaching her to sleep by herself.. if at all possible. i dont mind really its just that i am 18 wks preg with #2 and wondering what i can do to encourage her to go to sleep by herself.. she doesnt let me pat her to sleep anymore. gets cranky when we try to touch her.. goodness knows why, i just sit there beside her for an hr until she falls asleep. she has her cuddly toys, a night light, the radio on quietly and has her dummy.. doesnt have a bottle she hasnt for a few months. just didnt seem interested in it anymore.. yay!.. but anyway.. i just dont see anyway for me to get out of having to sit with her until she finally falls asleep. she cracks it big time when i stand up to go to the toilet. if we leave her in there by herself n tell her we love her n its time for sleep, she just gets up out of ehr toddler bed and will stand at the gate on her door and scream and cry until we come get her.. i am not a fan of crying it out.. a little cry here and there wont hurt them but crying themselves to sleep i dont like.. wondering if theres anyone thats been through this?.. how to start giving it a go.. i am at a loss here and see no way in being able to do this.. i do understand that it is my own fault for not having her sleep by herself sooner i get that.. im just after advice, tips, suggestions. anything.. all the help will be greatly appreciated.. and sorry for it being so long.. thankyou x
     
  2. wantmoresleep

    wantmoresleep new mum of baby girl

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    Don't really know what to say...mine doesnt self settle either. She is patted to sleep...x
     
  3. lovinmummy

    lovinmummy Well-Known Member

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    thanks anyway :D hopefully theres someone with advice.. x
     
  4. oct-bump

    oct-bump Well-Known Member

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    Can you tell her to stay in bed and just continue putting her back in bed? That's what I did when we moved LO to her own bed. Now, if she gets out, she'll open the door a little and not get out, then I tell her it's bed time and stay in bed. She'll whine a bit, but will stay in bed.

    I think if your LO doesn't make herself get sick when she cries, you can let her cry for a minute or 30 seconds, then help her back to bed.

    Also, I noticed my LO doesn't go to bed if there are too many distractions. I have to move her teddy and dolls out of sight or she'll just play with them.
     
  5. lovinmummy

    lovinmummy Well-Known Member

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    ok thanks! i have tried the putting her back into bed.. she does get tired eventually.. i will have to try that one continuously.. thankyou for your suggestions.. :D will keep you posted on how i go! fingers crossed.. i know it wont happen overnight.. but hey gotta start somewhere x
     
  6. QTPie

    QTPie Well-Known Member

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    Can't help, my LO wants his hand held too - preferably by me, but will go to sleep with husband or Grandma. Normally takes 5 to 10 minute, sometimes 20. We just lie on the floor, hand through the cot bars and pretend to be asleep ourselves. I don't mind and assume (hope!) he will grow out of it eventually....

    So not much help, but you are not alone...

    Does she settle for your OH too or just you?
     
  7. lovinmummy

    lovinmummy Well-Known Member

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    Haha thanks, no she won't settle for anyone but me. I either pat her bum but lately she won't let touch her so I just sit there for half hr to an hour before she falls asleep. Just thinkin its gonna be hard to do that with her when this next baby comes along hmmm
     
  8. tashyluv

    tashyluv Well-Known Member

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    Hi there. We went trough a very similar thing except Aleesha needed my hand to fall asleep! We changed that for a pat which she didnt not really like either.

    Then when she got her own bed, I just give hger hand a kiss then put her in bed, as the days went by I moved further to the end of the bed until she was happy for me to sit at the bottom. Now I sit outside the door. She comes out of bed straight away but I just put her back agian and again.

    I have made a thread https://www.babyandbump.com/toddler...chnique-night-1-sticking-my-guns-updates.html

    This technique I have been using for over a week and it definitly is working, some kids its can take a bit longer with but some adjust to it very quickly.

    The 1st night I think i was going back and forth for 2 hours, but last night and the night before it only took 20 minutes. ( mega improvement)

    She has gone from waking 3/4 times a night to 1 time, sometimes 2 ( still working on it)

    It is definitly and improvement, the 1st few nights you will be knackered but it does work and you dont have to cry it out because she can get out of bed and come to you if she needs you, ( that made me feel better anyway ) that way you will always be there to tuck her back in bed.

    I feel a lot better for doing this and I am getting some more sleep!
     
  9. eddjanuary10

    eddjanuary10 Well-Known Member

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    I had to persist with 'lie down its time for sleep' and keep laying lo down every time he went to get out of bed for about a week and a half before eventually he just lay down and went to sleep after about 10minutes. I have to take him up to bed at least an hour before sleep to wind him down with a bath and stories, then its goodnight to all his teddies, lights off and lie down in total darkness. Still to master the art of putting him back to sleep easily when he wakes during the night though! I think persistance is key! good luck x
     
  10. lovinmummy

    lovinmummy Well-Known Member

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    thankyou for your replies girls! wow i never knew everyone had this same problem.. i just thought i was lazy haha.. makes me feel a little better.. i dont mind doing it.. i just dont know if its a habit she will grow out of.. having me there beside her to fall asleep with.. last night she woke at about 3. i dont know why, but put her in our bed n normally she would fall straight asleep but not lately. takes her at least 2 hours to settle n stop thrashing around.. she is wide awake! gone down to one nap a day as opposed to 2.. and she goes to bed at 7, 7 30.. last night it was 8 30 and she was still wide awake? she does have a tooth coming through tho maybe thats got something to do with it. seems like the putting her back into bed is the way to go. i am just too soft hearted when it comes to leaving her in her room by herself. i tried for 5 minutes last night and she screamed the house down, then sculled half a bottle of milk.. :( she screams everytime i go to the toilet n leave her in bed, she just gets up off her bed as soon as i walk out.. hmmm.. :'(
     
  11. lovinmummy

    lovinmummy Well-Known Member

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    @tashyluv.. you are a genius! just tried the putting back into bed for her nap and wa laa.. it worked! i guess it helped she was a little tired, but i put her in there at 10.50am this morning. she screamed and cried for a bit. got out of bed and put her back 6 times.. then after about 15 minutes she was only whinging every now and again and stayed in her bed.. i am surprised and happy.. that it worked. i did feel bad and i almost gave up was so close.. but i just stuck with it.. helped that it didnt take her very long.. fingers crossed tonight goes ok.. :D <3 thankyou so much for your halpful advice everyone.. means alot. everyone is so nice n helpful on here.. i dont have any friends or family where i live, part from my other halfs family but it helps to be able to talk to other people on here that are going through/have been through the same things and can offer words of advice.. really appreciate it.. :D <3 xox
     
  12. lovinmummy

    lovinmummy Well-Known Member

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    So update on tonights progress. I put her in bed at 7.45 after her bath n she got out of bed once I put her back in bed n she sat up in bed for ten minutes whining a little. She then fell asleep by ,8.10. Pretty good so far. Fingers crossed I go ok tonight. Here's hoping!
     

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