17 and Pregnant (Again)

[TacoTurtle]

I'm back... (tentatively)

I had a m/c at 5w3d over the summer, after which OH and I decided to be extra careful regarding protection, which meant a minimal amount of sex, and always after I was supposed to ovulate (the "rhythm" method, which I know isn't the greatest). We also used the "pull-out" method (also not the best, but it's worked for us in the past).

At some point, and I can't figure out where, we slipped up. I feel like a complete idiot for saying so, because really, it's not hard to stay protected, and I can't make any excuses.

Now, I'm terrified. Terrified of my entire family and what they'll think (they all pushed abortion on me, and if not that then they'd try and force me to become emancipated). Terrified of what the future between OH and I holds now. He said he couldn't support me if I got pregnant before I went to uni, and before he left for boot camp.

I talk and type a lot when I'm anxious, so pardon the looong post, but I really need somebody to talk to. I feel like I know I can make this work, but I'm afraid no one will be willing to work with me... even OH, in spite of how incredible our relationship has been the last couple months.

 

[Croc-O-Dile]

I'll tell you the same thing I told my grandfather (who is NOT supportive about my pregnancy); Family is family, and it's their job to love you regardless.
I know you probably already know this, but legally your parents can not make you have an abortion. They might, however, file for you to be emancipated. Whether or not it goes through is up to the court, but I know that becoming empancipated in the US isn't as easy as people seem to think.
As for your OH, I can feel your pain there. I'm going through a very similar thing, but I've learned over the weeks that subtle guilt and a few tears does wonders.
In a situation like this, you have to decide what's more important: Your relationship or your pregnancy? And I understand that can be a very hard thing to decide upon, depending on your situation. But, I will tell you that you should not let him or anyone else force you into making a choice you're not sure of, because that will stick with you for the rest of your life.

The best thing you can do right now is sit back, relax, and clear your head. Remember, Rome wasn't built in one night.

 

[Serene123]

I can't really say much more than that, but a baby is such a precious gift, don't think of it as a problem. When you tell people you're pregnant, don't look afraid, look happy, it's harder for them to be unhappy if they're sure you're happy about it x

 

[TacoTurtle]

I'm certainly not unhappy, just scared! The tough part will be making other people happy about it.

 

[memysonand3]

you cant make anyone happy or accept they will do that on their own terms but i say that if they cant be happy for you and support you then it truelly is their loss because life is such an amazing gift to let anyone have in theirs

 

[Serene123]

What matters is that you're happy about it. Don't take people first reaction for how they'll feel when the baby is born. It changes. No one else has to bring your baby up so aslong as you love your baby, that's the most important thing x

 

[Croc-O-Dile]

I agree. Anyone who isn't supportive now, might change their mind once they see your adorable, healthy baby. Babies have a way of doing that to people. ^_^

 

[Blob]

Yea even if they arent supportive at first they are prob just worried about you...but they will be right behind you, just got to let them adjust to it

My neighbour said a nice thing when i was preggo, she said that the news that someone is pregnant is NEVER bad news

 

[Gemma Xx]

I'm in a similar situation to you! I'm 17 and this is my 2nd pregnancy after having a miscarriage in June!

I fell pregnant beginning of the year, but was too scared to tell my family. I left it so long and was making it worse doing so.

My mum eventually found out, because she opened a letter from my doctor telling me the date of my scan. She wouldn't stop going on about abortions and put me through so much stress.

After 10 days of her finding out I had a miscarriage. I didn't want to know the reason why, but I can't help but put it on my mum and blame her, as I had been fine the whole pregnacy until she found out and the stress was too much.

After the miscarriage I went through hell, and my life has completely changed now! But then me and OH started trying for another baby, and luckily concieved quite quickly (BFP on my first babys due date )

I told my mum the day I found out, and she is so happy and so excited and completely supportive! I also have the rest of my family behind me, and you have no idea how much better it feels!

My mum told me she lives with the guilt, because she knows its her fault I miscarried! She just wants me to be happy and if having a baby is going to make me happy then thats all that matters to her!

If you want this baby, then don't let anyone stop you! My family have got the complete opposite opinion to what they did with my first pregnancy! The same could happen with yours! The miscarriage didn't only effect me, it effected them too! I really think you should tell them, because hiding it will only make it worse!

Good luck and I really hope everything turns out OK xxxx

 

[TacoTurtle]

Wow, thank you ladies sooo much!
I told OH today, and he was pretty freaked out, but he told me that he loved me completely and that he'd support me in whatever I decided, even though he has a lot of fears about being a young dad, especially since he's joining the military.

I think I'm going to tell my parents after I get back from winter vacation, so that OH and I have had time to digest the news and figure out what we're going to do next (regarding marriage and living arrangements and whatnot).

I'm so excited though! Just POAS for fun, and I've got a reeeally strong BFP

 

[shelx]

sorry youre having a hard time of it but congrats on ur BFP after your mc! good luck thru your pregnancy x

 

[AP]

I agree. Anyone who isn't supportive now, might change their mind once they see your adorable, healthy baby. Babies have a way of doing that to people. ^_^

Sigh.......tell me about it - in law overload these days!

 

[TacoTurtle]

OH's dad was really excited last time, so I know we'll have his support. Hopefully his sister and brother in law will be able to help us out with hand-me-downs and such as they had their son in August and he's already outgrown some of his clothes

 

[Blob]