17 Married and Wanting a Daughter

[callmepaola]

thanks for the story! You sound like a great mother! And thank you for the advice, I am almost ready to take my GED tests and then I'll be starting college.

 

[tverb84]

I don't have children yet. Hopefully one day I will.

 

[modified]

I'm older (25) but very shortly after we got married, my mum moved in with us so that I could care for her through cancer. Just as she (thankfully) got over that, I got pregnant! So we've never had, and won't ever have, the chance to really enjoy just being newlyweds (I'll have been married 2 years this year!). Although I wouldn't change what's happened and would do it again for my mum in a heartbeat, it does make me incredibly sad! I'd say wait and just enjoy yourself and your relationship for now

 

[callmepaola]

I am very glad your mother has gotten through that, she must be a very strong woman! I'm going to wait, and i'm sorry you couldn't spend some quality time with your husband. But anyway, congratulations on your baby!

 

[LovemyBubx]

I met my OH at 16. When we were 17 & 18 we both decided to 'see what happens' I was 19 when I had our daughter.

I believe I was extremely lucky that I made that decision with someone who 6 years on we are still going strong & we are providing a stable & good life for our daughter. We are the best parents we can be & we hope to be engaged soon.

I know your in a better position because your married & I'm glad to see you think you will wait a while.

Take time to have fun go out go on holiday & get a good car & a stable job.

We haven't got a car which is annoying & me & OH have never been on holiday just us 2 we wish we had these done before having DD.

Good luck for your future you sound like you will make a wonderful mummy x

 

[EmilieMina]

What me worries most is that you wrote that you want a daughter actually. Yes I would also advise to wait a few years, be at least twenty cause you will change a lot in the coming years but what if you never get a daughter? Would you be disappointed?

Preferring a daughter is one thing but you sound so certain.

 

[callmepaola]

I mean, I would rather have a daughter before a son, but if I have a son I won't be disappointed.

 

[lozzy21]

God yes. You need to live a little and have some fun! Everything changes once you have a child, including your relationship. Spend some time enjoying your husband and being selfish. Everyone thinks of the big things you can't do after children but really they are the easy things to miss out on. I just miss having a wee or a bath on my own.

 

[RoseArcana]

I was 17 when I joined this site so I empathise. I really do.

I had my very longed for baby at 21. But even though me and her dad have been together 7 years, it nearly tore us apart.

I had to help look after my sisters from a young age. Similar to your situation. I didn't have much of a childhood.

Please wait a few years. I know how it feels on your side but enjoy each other because it really does stop everything. Certainly do your education first because I struggle at uni whilst looking after LO. Good luck with everything x

 

[Pearls18]

I think if you've spent your younger years looking after a child or didn't have much of a childhood it's all the more reason to give yourself some time just for you, when you have a child although I try not to be totally sacrificial and still have my own identity, your child has to come first. I think you and your husband deserve time to yourselves, to be selfish. To be honest I class myself still as a child of sorts at 17, not in the sense of needing looking after, but 16-22 are great years because you're old enough to be independent but there aren't many obligations or pressure usually, I went to uni but I know that's not for everyone but it's a time you can enjoy yourselves, even make a few mistakes here and there lol. There's still plenty of time to have a child young, I wouldnt take back those years for anything, especially as I was blessed enough to spend them with my now hubby.

 

[Reidfidleir]

You sound mature for your age and seem to want to wait anyway which I think is an excellent idea. The reasons have already been mentioned- you change a lot between late teens and early twenties. Also from my personal observations it seems that if people have been married at least two years before having a child their marriage is less strained and also less strained after the child flies the nest as you have already learned to
Live with each other for better and worse. Waiting is hard but it'll be worth it.

 

[Iveneverseen]

I had my first when I was 17 and it was unplanned, I would urge you to wait a few years. being a parent is hard work and your relationship does change. I wouldn't personally plan to have a baby at 17 or get married as I think both are far too young. but it's your life hope it works out if you do choose to have a baby soon.